BFP - but not happy about it

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keeping a secret Posts: 2
Hi girls Regular user anon for this one I got BFP yesterday - but it has left me cold and scared and to be honest upset - i had a miscarriage earlier this year which devastated me and i am not ready for this pregnancy - if it lasts - i am not prepared if something goes wrong and i really dont think i will be able to cope I dont know how this happed as i have been avoiding sex since the m/c we have done it about 4 times in the past 2 months but i suppose it only takes the one (as the ad keeps saying) has anyone any advice on this?
little mrs sunshine Posts: 5523
Of course your scared that is only normal. I suppose the only thing I can say it take each day at a time. How far gone were you before you had m/c? I am ttc now after m/c in April and got BFN this morning. I know if it was BFP I would be happy but scared to death for exactly the reasons your giving. Go to your GP get it confirmed and ask for early scan. Get a scan around the 7 week mark and please God this might settle the doubts your having. Wish you all the best and congrats. I am sure everything will go perfect for you :xxx
summer daisy Posts: 1336
Keeping a secret, First of all congratulations on your BFP.. I know that it must be very hard for you to accept after the last time but I think that it is human nature to feel very anxious about a new pregnancy after a miscarriage. I can't offer any advice but I am thinking about you and wishing you all the best. Summer Daisy
notlongtogo Posts: 5040
Hi Keeping it a secret, i had been actively trying for a baby with i got BFP and i was scared and nervous so i cant imagine what you must be feeling. Take care and like LMS said get an early scan.
*bubblez* Posts: 1599
I'm the same hun, so terrified of whats going to happen this time around and I'm so detached from this pregnancy... last time round I had prams, cots a new car all picked out for the babies arrival started baby proofing our house and this time I'm acting like I'm not even preggers... its helps that I'm not falling over with tiredness or MS this time though. But I know how you feel its so scary worrying about all that could go wrong. I don't really have any advice for you, all I'm doing is taking one day at a time some days are good some days are bad but I deal with each one as it comes along. I've also booked an early scan so I can have some sort of basis to start getting attached to this baby, maybe you shuold do the same hon?
strawberry shortcake Posts: 9094
Hi KAS, to be honest i was scared as well and i think its a natural reaction as well as excitment when you get a BFP. Only thing I can say to you is every pregnancy is different and turns out differently, i understand your scared from before but you need to talk this out with your partner, decide what you want to do. I truely believe that everything happens for a reason and there is obviously a reason you got preg again, what it is im not sure. I hope you feel better soon hun and you come to a decision you want. Let us know how you get on.
keeping a secret Posts: 2
well im in denial at the moment im not going to get it confirmed im going to carry on as if i didnt get the bfp - if nothing has happened in 3 weeks when i would be past the point of my last m/c maybe then i'll go but at the moment i am completely detached - so if it goes away its not a loss really
Mrs Lucy06 Posts: 929
Hi, Couldnt not reply to your post. My heart goes out to you, I have never suffered a m/c so I cant even begin to imagine how you are feeling, but once you get over the initial shock of things you will prob see this baby as a blessing. Give your self & your partner time to talk things through together, you need support you have it on here at anytime. Just dont bottle things up, talk to your partner. Take Care Lucy
*bubblez* Posts: 1599
KAS it'll still be a loss no matter how detached you are from it now sweetheart. I know how you're feeling it could be me writing the words , try to take each day at a time and maybe do something like look up baby see if you can feel anymore attached. The reason I'm saying this is because I've ben thinking about it all weekend and broke down completely last night with hubby and told him how I feel and he said that if I ignore being pregnant carry on regardless and if god forbid something happens to this baby that I'll 100% blame myself, last time I blamed me anyway but had some perspective on it but he's right in what he said. Anyway honey, if you need to talk just pm me I'm here anytime and I do know how you feel. take care sweetie xxx
Spice Bride Posts: 558
I had a m/c at 9 weeks in January and got pregnant in Feb. When I saw the positive test I bawled. I know how you're feeling and it is fine to feel that way - you're not going to be able to ignore being pregnant though. I told my friends at 7 weeks because I'd had a scare and I realised how much I needed their support. I think that after a m/c any other pregnancy is going to be a very nerve wracking time. Take each day as it comes. Tell your partner how you're feeling and the girls on here are fantastic whenever you need to talk.