Bickering before baby arrives?

We've Moved!

Our wonderful discussion forums have now moved to Facebook...

Click to join us in our HIGM ("Help I'm Getting Married") group!

bridie1 Posts: 12
My DH & I seem to be at each others throats constantly at the minute. I am 34 weeks and there have been a lot of changes since we found out we were pregnant. We were married 3 weeks when I found out and have since moved countries and DH has an injury so he is not working at the moment. I have always been hormonal but in my opinion I have been dealing with the pregnancy etc fairly well. Any time I get upset or teary, mainly due to lack of sleep, hubbie goes off on one and says I am using the pregnancy as emotional blackmail. I have tried to explain to him rationally that somedays are better than others and basically I am finding this tough as well but it seems to be falling on deaf ears. Is this normal? I feel we are drifting apart and I can't seem to stop it.
rushinbride Posts: 1097
oh you poor pet...I think a mixture of the hormones and DH's injury = serious bickering...my DH had injured himself 5wks before our wedding in March, i had found out i was pregnant in February and honestly the time he was off work and at home - I was surprised some days we'd make the wedding day!! All was well again when DH was back at work - I can't really offer much advice only tell you not to worry our dwell on it too much - I think men in general when they have an illness (like man flu or something) or are injured - think our worlds should revolve around them - whereas your probably putting yourself first (rightly so) as your 34wks pregnant - men can't deal with that very well, they expect us to forget about our own illness's or needs when they need some TLC... do your best to take it all in your stride, your on the final stretch of your pregnancy and it's probably getting tougher day by day, things will sort themselves out, and when baby arrives all the bickering will be a distant memory!! :wv
MUMS THE WORD Posts: 733
MEN!!!!!!!!!!!! They talk about women and their hormones, but honestly you can't meet a worse patient than a MAN!!! They are unreal and think that whole world revolves around them... i'd say what's wrong with him now is that he's not well, and knows as soon as babs arrives he definately wont have all your attention, so he's crying out for it now!!!!!!!!!! I would suggest you try chat to him and get any worries out in the open! Hope things get better soon, try not to stress as you've more important things to worry about, like that precious life inside you!
bridie1 Posts: 12
We had a long tearful talk today and we both feel better although I am still really upset but trying not to show it. He claims he can't cope with mood swings etc and I tried to explain that I am freaking out as well and need his support more than ever. If he can't cope now, what will it be like when baba arrives?!? He feels he is not equal regarding the pregnancy and when I tell him he has upset me the emotional blackmail card is played so I feel I cannot talk to him about anything without it causing a row. Then he claimed it was his childhood that is upsetting him. His father is a very strange man and found raising a family very difficult. He gets on well with his children most of the time but they are grown up now and he cannot affect them as much as he used to. He is worried that I will love the baby more than him yet ironically I am worried that he will love the baby more than me!! It's crazy! Physically the pregnancy has been easy but emotionally it has been awful. I am worried that I am losing him and don't know how to stop it and still remain sane. I am not telling hom how I truely feel because any time I say I am worried, having a bad day etc it comes back to bite me and we end up like this! Thanks for the advice! I am relieved to know I am not totally losing it!!
1