Bit disappointed with reaction

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MrsW2010 Posts: 348
Hi Ladies, Just wondering if i'm alone in being disappointed in my hubby's reaction to my BFP?? We've been trying for a good while, both wanted a baby, I have a history of endo and cysts and we always thought it would be hard but got a BFP yesterday, I was so happy I was shaking... Hubby's reaction though has left me feeling down. He seemed ok and finally put down the computer to give me a kiss but that was it. He hasn't talked about it at all.. Doesn't seem to bothered. I want to tell loads of people so someone can feel excited for me but he doesn't want to tell anyone. He says he can't bear the thought of listening to my family for nine months (it would be the first on my side, 3rd on his). I suppose I had always imagined being given a hugh hug and a kiss or him jumping up and down because he was so happy, swinging me round the room and wanting to celebrate. Instead we went food shopping and then he spent the night vegging on the couch. Am I over reacting? I have been crying a bit lately even before I got the BFP, is it just hormone craziness??? :-8 I'm going to tell my friend tomorrow when i get the official blood results form the Doc and at least i'll have one person to talk to, she's a couple of months preggers so it'll be nice to have her to go to. Hopefully when we have our first scan he might realise it's real and get a bit excited. Sorry for going on and having a bit of a moan...
Mismatch Posts: 476
Hey Mrs W2010. Firstly massive congrats to you & your hubby, Exciting news & hope you have a happy & healthy 9 months. Try not to dwell on your hubbies reaction. Its very different for them. I found out I got my bfp at 5am in the morning, nudged my hubby & showed him the test. He just kissed me & cuddled up to me & fell back asleep. Were all I could do was lie there with my thoughts going mental. He only seemed to get really excited when he was telling his family the news & then at the first scan. And when he could eventually feel the baby kicking. It's easier for us to get lost in it all as its happening inside us & we can feel all the changes. But he will eventually get excited. Chin up & enjoy telling your girlfriends. They have a way of making you feel like its the most wonderful news in the world. Were would we be with out them :action32 :action32
lolabelle Posts: 3311
It might take a while to sink in with him. Men are funny creatures. You might find that he's a bit nervous or worried about you and the new bean. Best thing you can do is talk to him. Congrats by the way hun! :o)ll :o)ll :o)ll :o)ll :o)ll :o)ll
Jacqueline Hyde Posts: 1145
I feel for you Mrs. I'd be very upset too and i don't even have the pregnancy hormones going on :eek I'm sure he is happy about it but maybe a bit hit by the reality of it and what not. I'm sure he'll come around and hopefully start showing the excitement you crave. When we started TTC i was doing all the talking about it. I felt really insecure that it was something i really wanted but that he was only going along with. It came to the point that i had tell him that it was upsetting me and i needed him to verbalise that he wanted kids. It was necessary and it got us talking and got us both excited. I'd recommend just telling him how you feel. Congrats by the way!!! Best of luck for the next 9 months
Winter B2B Posts: 3494
I can completely relate to your post. On first BFP all DH said was lets not get excited but wait and see what doctor says. I was so disappointed that this time I wasn't even in a rush to tell to him. His reaction was alittle better this time but not much. He didn't get excited until we had a scan and saw babs on screen. I know it's hard but try and not take it too heart. Men need more info/time than just a pg test result.
Emme Posts: 4735
I think they react with their head a lot of the time and not their heart..so while we jump up and down and quite frankly go a bit mad, they're thinking 'First step, positive test, long road, remain calm'. They have to remain in control for us a lot of the time because we're not thinking straight (yes the crying is the hormones...keep telling yourself it's a great sign!) so I think he's just being a man! They all turn to goo when they see the baby anyway and my DH loved the bump...it became real for him then.
Orwyne Posts: 139
I had a previous miscarriage on my first bfp. So when I got my next bfp my hubby was not excited like I expected. But when I asked him he explained that he didn't want to get my hopes up after our last disappointment. But when we had an early scan saw the heartbeat he really changed. He was just trying to protect me in that weird way men do.
xx fairy mommy xx Posts: 1833
Lads - what are they like!!! When I suspected I was pregnant, and in fairness it WAS only our first month of trying and we had come back from a long haul flight holiday so would have had an impact on AF, I was mad to take a test once I missed my period by a few days! DH was of the opinion I should wait for a couple of weeks till I did the test - he doesn't know me at all! Anyway we agreed I'd buy a test and he was working nights so off he was in bed when I came back with CB digital! Pee'd and wiped and had some brown blood so I came out and DH surprised me by being up - said he heard me come home and knew I'd do it straight away! Anyway I said no joy AF on the way and have wasted a test and was very tearful at having built this up to a big thing to be so dissapointed so was taking aback when positive result came up immediately! I was shell shocked and couldn't believe it and DH said ah yeah your pregnant, good stuff, see you later am going back to bed!!!!! Raging!! Anyway spoke about it afterwards and he reckons he couldn't sleep with the excitement when he knew I was off out for a test and did I not realise? He ain't very demonstrative at the best of times so maybe your DH is the same and just quietly thrilled but bit apprehensive at the same time! My DH still ain't jumpin for joy and rubbing my belly at every opportunity but he is happy! Gotta get my fix of overjoyous rooftop shouting from the movies me thinks!!!
SandyClaws Posts: 3108
My hubby only got really excited after baby was born, theyre like two peas in a pod but he wasn't too excited over pregnancy, not helped that I had the pregnancy from hell!!
happy mummy Posts: 424
When I got my BFP although DH did get a little teary eyed he remained cool and calm and collected for weeks afterwards, even telling family I was the one getting weepy and he was grand - bit boastful when telling his friends but sure he's a man so what would you expect :o0 I was seriously ill from about week 5 right up until week 16 and I know that took a toll on us and on his response to the pregnancy - I'm sure there's only so much of "Babe will you get me a drink!" or "Hun will you hand me the remote!" a man can take! But his demeanour has changed SO much since I got better!! And since he can actually SEE a bump and FEEL baby move! Men are strange creatures but they need physical evidence that they've created a new life before they will start to believe it! :o0 I'm sure your DH will be in much better form and fully attentive once it has sank in - its all well and good to be TTC but to get the BFP is something quite different and honestly I think men don't think of it as TTC in the same way that women do ifkwim! Congrats on your BFP hun! And enjoy telling your girl friends and eventually family and everyone else! Hope you have a happy and healthy nine months :)
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