Just to explain....
Myself and h2b want to have a black tie wedding. My parents think it's a bad idea, as many people will either refuse to wear black tie or will give either a much smaller present or nothing at all to make up for their expenses/inconvenience.
I said that we're not doing it for the prezzies (even though they are nice) and that if cranky old uncle John wears a black suit instead of a tux, then I'm not gonna split hairs over it. I also said that no matter what we do, someone will always be cranky, and that we're not going to please everyone. It's our wedding, not theirs.
So what do you think ladies? If you got an invite to go to a black tie wedding with your partner, what would you do?
i voted for the first one i think they are great and i am going to on next feb cant wait will bring normal present and hubby has a tux and i will by a guna deas in jan sales
Hi Aislinn S,
I'm kind of in the same boat, but kinda opposite!
I don't really want to have black tie but H2B's family REALLY want it.
I have given in gracefully, as its the only thing they have been really strong about (so far!!).
I'm not too pushed one way or another, but I just didn't want to put the extra expense on guests. Also our ceremony is likely to be early - like 1pm / 1.30 so I think dudes in tuxes and gals in floor length gowns might look a little odd.
But whatever. I'm not too bothered.
And re your original question - if I was invited to one I'd be there with bells on! And it wouldn't enter my head that whether or not it was black tie would affect the gift!
Or ceremony isn't til 3.30 or 4pm, so it would be less.....dodgy, etiquette-wise. We'd only be out by an hour or so on the timing.
See now I need more replies like that Lucky so I can print it out and show them
I'd LOVE to get an invite to a black tie wedding - I think they're lovely!
A friend of mine had a black tie wedding, and her parents had the exact same reaction. They weren't opposed to many things she organised for her wedding, but this was one of them. Again, they felt that it was putting people to a huge expense, hassle, etc, etc. She went with it anyway, explaining to them that men have to wear a suit anyway, either have to buy a new one (or rent one if they don't have one), or at least get it cleaned, or get a new shirt/tie, etc. Women are only looking for an excuse to get REALLY dressed up, and where better only at a wedding. They are going to be spending money on an outfit anyway, and some of them may already have an evening dress in the wardrobe that they never get to wear. I know I do!! Anyway, her parents admitted afterwards, that it went down very well, and neither old Uncle John or Auntie Mary complained to them that it was awkward!
If you want one have one - ppl should treat it like a normal invition accept and turn up with norm pressie - it would be rude not to !
Its your day and all that ...
I don't think its much of an issue for the girls as they usually get very dressed up... its the guys who have to go to the effort to rent a tux that will complain.
I was at a BT wedding earlier this summer and the men folk bitched and moaned about wearing a tux all day.
As it was a summers day, the girls just wore what they would have anyway, BT or not.
For me it depends who's wedding it is. Family/close friend Im so there with a pressie! Neighbour/work mate etc.....wouldnt be arsed TBH (sorry if I sound bitchy, I just couldnt justify spending a fortune on a couple I dont know very well)
Definitely 1st one! Delighted to get a black tie invite and hiring a tux is not such a big deal, many people have their own. Would not alter my choice of present one whit!
Your wedding, your way I say.
me & H2B are wahoo bring normal pressie
but we wanted one.. and lots of our friends created a fuss as did parents and relatives
we backed down