Can't Articulate..

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Decisions11 Posts: 1246
I'm bad at articulating myself.. and its very annoying when planning our wedding... Example: I had my hair trial yesterday - told him I didn't want anything high on top. I did like parts of it but its not what I had in my head and it was far too high for me! I was angry as I took photos of what I wanted in with me, I told him what I wanted but maybe I didn't articulate myself properly. I do find it hard to say "stop I don't like it" maybe I need to grow a pair.. I know after a few more trials we'll get it ok.. but same thing happened with make up and other things in my life. I just can't articulate exactly what I want properly. Any tips on how to be really clear about what you want?
happyfamily Posts: 3323
Well you brought in pictures which is a great way to start. Try explaining what you want to a friend or family member and see if they understand the picture you're trying to create. Or write down a few points to help you
Decisions11 Posts: 1246
Thanks, good idea explaining it to a friend first - going to put my BMs to some use.. Next time taking them with me so they can help. I'm making it sound like I can't speak English :o0 when it comes to explaining what I want I am crap at it
randomusername Posts: 2134
I can get flustered because I don't want to put people out, its ridiculous because I'm paying for the service so I should be able to say no stop do something else. I think what helped me was realising I could be pc about it and say nicely, "what you're doing is lovely but I actually don't like having my hair high on top" rather then "what in the name of god are you doing you big giant ar$e I'll look like a clingon if you keep lamping it on top of my head" :o0 I usually find starting off with a compliment helps me feel a bit better about going on to tell someone I don't like it. Either that or bring the snottiest person you know with you and give her carte blanch to butt in and attack the hairdresser/make up artist if they're not doing it right
Decisions11 Posts: 1246
[quote="watermelonbelly":3h86mox3]I can get flustered because I don't want to put people out, its ridiculous because I'm paying for the service so I should be able to say no stop do something else. I think what helped me was realising I could be pc about it and say nicely, "what you're doing is lovely but I actually don't like having my hair high on top" rather then "what in the name of god are you doing you big giant ar$e I'll look like a clingon if you keep lamping it on top of my head" :o0 I usually find starting off with a compliment helps me feel a bit better about going on to tell someone I don't like it. Either that or bring the snottiest person you know with you and give her carte blanch to butt in and attack the hairdresser/make up artist if they're not doing it right[/quote:3h86mox3] I think that is also a problem with me - I am afraid of hurting their feelings, but then its me left with something I don't want! O:| Good point on the compliment first, ease the blow :o0 I know they are professionals, but I hate the whole "since I'm a professional I know best".. mmh no love, I know what I like & don't like..
FlexyDee Posts: 4904
I use to be that way and was so worried about putting people out but hell NO MORE :o0 :o0 If I pay for the service, then I expect it to be what I WANTED! My mother thinks I'm a Bitch for complaining if things are not right - don't know why she is complaining as she has gotten a good few free things out of it when I complain for her :o0 :o0
Decisions11 Posts: 1246
I have no problem complaining about bad service, or in a restaurant/hotel etc but have suddenly become awful at it when it comes to wedding stuff.. I think with hair & make up, you kind of get to know them while they are doing it - then to turn around and say ekk no I hate it. It feels like saying that to a friend. I must stop being friendly actually, that will help matters :o0
FlexyDee Posts: 4904
[quote="Decisions11":4p9xtmzg]I have no problem complaining about bad service, or in a restaurant/hotel etc but have suddenly become awful at it when it comes to wedding stuff.. I think with hair & make up, you kind of get to know them while they are doing it - then to turn around and say ekk no I hate it. It feels like saying that to a friend. I must stop being friendly actually, that will help matters :o0[/quote:4p9xtmzg] Just turn into a Bridezilla and you should be fine :yelrotflmaosmilie: :yelrotflmaosmilie:
Decisions11 Posts: 1246
[quote="FlexyDee":11lf3i8m] Just turn into a Bridezilla and you should be fine :yelrotflmaosmilie: :yelrotflmaosmilie:[/quote:11lf3i8m] The advantages of being a Bridezilla does look appealing :innocent:
FlexyDee Posts: 4904
[quote="Decisions11":1ecvu6si][quote="FlexyDee":1ecvu6si] Just turn into a Bridezilla and you should be fine :yelrotflmaosmilie: :yelrotflmaosmilie:[/quote:1ecvu6si] The advantages of being a Bridezilla does look appealing :innocent:[/quote:1ecvu6si] At least things would be done ASAP :o0