Ceremony Frustrations

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BuzzyBee92 Posts: 142
So, it's 8-ish weeks to my wedding and I am trying to tackle The Ceremony....oddly something I thought I would enjoy but is proving to be most frustrating. Kinda want to punch my solemniser in the face.... Help from any brides or grooms would be greatly appreciated! How long is a typical Church Ceremony? How many readings is okay? We have 3...and how long are they supposed to be!? I've been made to feel mine are too short. Does anyone have recommendations for wedding songs that would be recognized by Catholics but not too Old/Churchy? I have only 3 songs selected and they are contemporary Christian. Oh, and is 3 songs enough or do I have to have more? Slowly but surely slipping into the realm of I don't care. O:|
CasualBride Posts: 574
Hi Buzzy!! I feel your pain! :) You said you want to punch your Solemniser in the face, but you're having a Church wedding, so I'm not sure if it's a Catholic Mass? If so, then it'd usually be around an hour with some give & take depending on how late / early the bride arrives, and then the photos at the signing of the register can drag it out at the other end. So regarding music, you'd need more than 3 songs if it's a Mass ceremony, but possibly not if it's a humanist ceremony. However, I would recommend having another one or two on standby, just in case there are any lulls or delays while you're getting photos taken - it'd be a bit tense to have total silence while you're posing awkwardly in front of a whole crowd of people!! I'm afraid I don't have much advice for the music you choose, it's totally up to yourself but there are hundreds of suggestions & playlists on Google.
BuzzyBee92 Posts: 142
Thanks CasualBride. I'm Christian, but not Catholic, and so is my ceremony....his side of the family are mostly Catholic though. Frustration is in part due to being to only 2 ceremonies in my church and other than that I've been to just as many Catholic ceremonies. The other part is I don't even know what I want and expected our solminser would have been more help, he just says we can do what we want but then questions my readings and number of songs. I'm confused about format and particularly expectations from guests...I don't want to alienate his side but don't know how not to do it. The group doing my music know to play light instrumental pieces so there should be no booming silence loom to worry about (I hope)
CasualBride Posts: 574
Oh no - your solemnised really should be helping you alright, in fairness, they know best. Could you be blunt with him and just explain that you're lost and you need him to take a bit more control in letting you know the procedure? That is annoying for you. And I can't help at all, I have never been to anything only Catholic and civil ceremonies.
tj2008 Posts: 77
Hi, I feel your pain. I'm Catholic and partner is Church of England but divorced so while we are still having a Church wedding its not a typical service and I'm starting to tackle our order of service now and it's wrecking my head also. The only thing is I have gotten guidance from the Pastor who will be conducting the service as to how they typically structure their ceremonies and he has advised then I can add to it or tailor it as I need. As I want to add some catholic elements I am going to have prayers of the faithful and one religious reading. I am choosing two readings and then a reflection along with whatever reading the Pastor will choose. My singers for the ceremony are being very helpful and have guided me on how many songs or pieces of music to have and where to slot them in. I need to send draft over to Pastor this week to see if I'm on track but don't be put off by someone saying your readings are too short etc as I don't believe there is set guide as some of the readings I have seen either catholic or non catholic vary in length with some being very short but yet they are really nice and probably more in setting with what I want as opposed to the longer ones. If you want I can send you on some sample orders of service I have received. One is a full Catholic one and the other is based on my own draft.
BuzzyBee92 Posts: 142
Hi tj2008 , Thank you, I've actually got it sorted now. And because my Church is Born-Again-Christian the format is a bit different. More Contemporary songs because I just went ah feck it and picked songs I liked. I actually liked doing my order of service once I got all my info sorted.
Inline - Algarve WP