Chronic anxiety & Pregnant

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rubymoon Posts: 756
Hi I've been on antidepressant citalopram 30mg for 3 years and am 10 weeks pregnant. I have panic disorder/anxiety and a bit of depression but I suppose they are one and the same. Grieving my brother who died tragically age 22 last March and trying to cope with this but now found Im due my 3rd child and my anxiety is through the roof. It is that bad that I dread each day. Im hardly sleeping but even when I do I just want to sleep all day, its that bad. I'm not really eating properly either. The constant fear and knot in my stomach is making me sick. Just wondering anybody the same here? Did you find your anxiety increased in the first trimester? Feel like Im going out of my mind and trying to mind my kids and be there for my parents who are grieving. I've tried all the natural stuff, meditation, reiki, cbt etc. I've appointment with the doc in the morning but I know she will not do anything for me as will probably tell me it will pass. Thing is I reckon this cannot be good for my baby and I'm tired of fighting it I've no energy left
Urban Fairy Posts: 3987
First off congratulations. I'm so sorry to hear your having all these emotional issues, I suffer from anxiety and depression too, but by the sound of it your alot more severe then me and god knows you have an awful lot on your plate at the moment. I'm sorry to hear about your brother, I can understand you being there alot for your parents, while still grieving yourself can put additional pressure on you. I hope the forthcoming new addition will help your parents focus on something joyous thats ahead :lvs I think every mother is anxious during their first tri, I was particularly anxious but all I could do was distract myself with anything I could while keeping good care of myself physically (resting etc). Ok this is easier said then done while you've kids but I hope YOU have a good support system too. Yes its not great for the baby you getting anxious, but right now keep going to bed when you feel you need to, and maybe a good release of your anxiety would be to chat to your pals, your family.. oh and most of all I was on WOL all the time. I enjoyed chatting to the other mothers who were due at the same time, listening to their worries and concerns made me feel like I wasnt alone. I felt this helped so much with my anxiety. Now I'm still an extremely anxious person, I cant drive due to my anxiety (well plus my husband has the car during the day), but its not nearly as bad as it was in the past since I saw a councellor last year.
rubymoon Posts: 756
Hi Urban Fairy thank you for your reply. Yes its good to know I'm not the only one who has it. The thing is I can't even get in the shower at the moment (sounds crazy I know) but I'm that much on my last nerves that the thoughts of anything is making me sick to the pit of my stomach. I try rationalise it and say 'its only thoughts and accept the fear' etc but its been 2 weeks of non stop. Each 24 hour day feels like a week and I can't wait until night time to shut my brain off :(
dreamer Posts: 3941
Hi rubymoon, Congrats on your great news. Have you stopped your medication? Big hugs to you. Try to take one day at a time and as difficult as it is, tell yourself this is just a very bad patch and it will pass. YOU WILL not feel like this everyday. :action32
Dancing Queen Posts: 2591
Be brutally honest with your doctor tomorrow and tell them how bad you're feeling, I'm sure there is something that they can do to help you, and maybe even just the chat tomorrow will leave you feeling more positive. Look after yourself :thnk
rubymoon Posts: 756
[quote="dreamer":13ddz0qr]Hi rubymoon, Congrats on your great news. Have you stopped your medication? Big hugs to you. Try to take one day at a time and as difficult as it is, tell yourself this is just a very bad patch and it will pass. YOU WILL not feel like this everyday. :action32[/quote:13ddz0qr] Hi no I haven't stopped my medication but its just not working at the moment I think the anxiety has blocked it or something. Good advice I do try tell myself I won't always feel like this, im just scared at the moment of it though, thanks O:o)
rubymoon Posts: 756
[quote="Dancing Queen":2jfwrw19]Be brutally honest with your doctor tomorrow and tell them how bad you're feeling, I'm sure there is something that they can do to help you, and maybe even just the chat tomorrow will leave you feeling more positive. Look after yourself :thnk[/quote:2jfwrw19] Hi Dancing Queen. I will. I'm going to tell her exactly what I posted on here. I hope she can help me and yes the chat might help me too. Thanks a million for your reply :thnk
happymonkey Posts: 555
Hi Rubymoon, i know what it's like to struggle when you're in the middle of hellish anxiety and to think that there is no end to it. For me, the exhaustion and surrender was the beginning of the shift (when I was too tired and worn out, the wheels stopped turning for a few minutes and I felt relief). To get angry, wave your fists, not give a crap anymore, to just say 'today I'm too bloody tired to fight this and try to change. I'm giving myself the morning off. I accept that I am where I am right now and it's okay'. Do whatever you have to do to get relief, give yourself permission and get as much support as you can. Sending you tons of love. :lvs
rubymoon Posts: 756
[quote="happymonkey":3175d2zg]Hi Rubymoon, i know what it's like to struggle when you're in the middle of hellish anxiety and to think that there is no end to it. For me, the exhaustion and surrender was the beginning of the shift (when I was too tired and worn out, the wheels stopped turning for a few minutes and I felt relief). To get angry, wave your fists, not give a crap anymore, to just say 'today I'm too bloody tired to fight this and try to change. I'm giving myself the morning off. I accept that I am where I am right now and it's okay'. Do whatever you have to do to get relief, give yourself permission and get as much support as you can. Sending you tons of love. :lvs[/quote:3175d2zg] Thanks a million exactly what I'm going to do, just try get relief and try not care so much about it as it wears you down. And the guilt you feel for feeling this way too! xxxxxxx
significantother Posts: 123
Hi Rubymoon You poor girl :action32 My heart goes out to you. I suffered for a long time from crippling anxiety and depression. It is horrific. I am a lot better now thank god and I am off medication but its a bit of a constant battle especially now that I am pregnant. I worry incessantly and have trouble sleeping too. Think the raging hormones don't help either! Are you going to counselling? Maybe your doctor could increase your medication? Sorry I'm not much help, I dont know what else to suggest but I really hope you can get some relief x