Clueless about EVERYTHING!!

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veryv Posts: 970
Hi girls, DH and I will be starting TTC in a month or two. I have to say I am scared sh*tless about the process!!! I don't have any experience minding babies, making bottles, changing nappies etc. I am totally Cher from Clueless!! I've never been gaa-gaa over babies and am terrified mine will be an anti-christ! (both my mam and dad were little terrors as toddlers/children apparently). Maybe all girls have these fears but people tend to laugh at me when I say that. Also I'm sick of people thinking I'm the devil becuase I'm 33, married two years and still not pregnant. Anyway, I have PCOS and my cycle has only become regualr during the past year (that's another reason I'm scared I think), I'm also scared I won't be able to conceive. I suppose I need a little advice on EVERYTHING possible. *I've no idea how much money we should put aside for baby equipment like buggies, cots, moses baskets, etc. *I've got private health insurance and will be going private, but don't understand the way it works i.e. I pay up front and claim some of it back? I feel so stupid! *Am thinking of going to Mount Carmel if I do become pregnant but then some girls have said it's pointless going there as if there are any complications, I'll be sent to the Coomb anyway. *I've ordered the 'Taking Charge of Your Fertility' book as recommended by girls in TTC. I take Folic Acid and a multi vitamin everyday, but other than that I'm also clueless. *My gynae, who diagnosed PCOS said I needn't go back to him unless I'm having trouble conceiving. Sorry for the nervous breakdown but I know you girls are so clued in! Thanks :thnk
JLa Posts: 527
Janey Macs veryv! Don't be freaking yourself out!! Babies are all different, and you never know what youre going to get, so don't be worrying about how the baba will be before you've even conceived :o0 Until you start trying, you've no clue how easy or not it will be for you - and if it's not then there are support groups and forums that will help you to sort out your head and help you through whatever your next steps will be. You mightn't need to worry at all! Everyone worries and noone knows until it happens or doesn't, try and enjoy it >:o) Start a list of the things you'll need, and start adding to it as you think of the next thing. It will be overwhelming at the start, the first time around you do need to buy so much, but people will buy you presents and you can get lots of things barely used second hand now. A buggy could cost you anywhere from a couple of hunderd euro to a grand, depending on what you go for. You'll need a car seat, a crib, a buggy, some clothes and some blankets. Start a list and start pricing! If you have private health insurance then you will still need to pay your consultant about €3200-€3600 depending on the consultant. MIne looks for 400 at first appointment (about 12 weeks), about 1200 at the 20 week appointment and another 1600 after the baby is born. But your hospital stay won't cost you anything, and your GP visits are free once you're pregnant. I don't know anything about Mount Carmel, sorry! Keep taking your folic acid (religiously!) and maybe move to a prenatal multivitamin soon, as a normal multivitamin can have high levels of Vitamin A, which you don't want to be taking when you're pregnant. 33 is a great age to start having kids/getting pregnant - don't mind anyone else's opinion! Good luck honey, hope all goes well for you!
veryv Posts: 970
Thanks JLa, I do have a habit of working myself up into a tizzy! On the paying the consultant bit, do I get any of that money back? Or is that extra? I've no idea about that. I read up on my policy but still don't understand it :duh:
BusyDee Posts: 8527
Ah very best of luck on your TTC journey :babydust: :stork: :babydust: Honestly try not to worry! I know you are probably sick hearing that! I was the very same, had no real interaction with babies and wasn't maternal at all, but honestly majority of it will just come to you when babs is born. We were absolutly fine and DH was thrown in the deep end coz I had a section and dd had to go to special care for a few hours so he had to put her clothes on her and feed her and change her all by himself! And he was grand! I found this section & mums and kids great for getting advice/tips so I would say to read and research as much as you can. *I've no idea how much money we should put aside for baby equipment like buggies, cots, moses baskets, etc. [b:16h63ba2]It really depends on what brands etc you want to go for, for instance we just got a cheap cot for 120 euro but you can get them for around 70 - I would advise to get one that you can adjust the height as this will save you having to reach to the bottom of the cot everytime as your back will probably be sore for a while. Got buggy, car seat and base for around 500. We didn't bother with a moses basket we just used the pram part of the buggy. If you wanted to go out for a walk then you didn't have to be lifting up babs to transfer into buggy. Also we bought a little bit every week from when I was about 12 weeks pregnant and it didn't seem as much then [/b:16h63ba2] *I've got private health insurance and will be going private, but don't understand the way it works i.e. I pay up front and claim some of it back? I feel so stupid! [b:16h63ba2]I went private last time and this time but I'm not in Dublin or a city. We paid about half the fee on the first visit and then just paid off a bit at every visit after that. The following year after you give birth you can then claim back 20% on the Med1 form. I did mine online through ROS and it was much less hassle. You might also be able to claim a couple of hundred off your own health insurance for consultant costs.[/b:16h63ba2] Hope that helps a bit!
veryv Posts: 970
[quote="BusyDee":a56ssdrq]Ah very best of luck on your TTC journey :babydust: :stork: :babydust: [/quote:a56ssdrq] Ah thanks BusyDee, you've also given me lots of much appreciated info! DH thinks it'll be a walk in the park god love him. I make him watch 'One Born Every Minute' to make him see what us poor women have to go through! I think he's nicely traumatised and has a better understanding of labour etc! He thinks it'll be as easy as looking after our cat, feed it, change the litter tray, given cuddles and get a catsitter when we go away! Yea right. I also read that I shouldn't change the litter tray when pregnant, I thought that cat faeces had to be ingested in order to contract that disease and I can't see myself getting out the knife and fork that that dish! You have cats, what did you do? Also I'm not one of these mothers that will be banishing the cat outdoors either, she's our family and will be retaining her place as head of the household!
BusyDee Posts: 8527
Yeah we have 3 cats (and 3 dogs!) and not a single thing has changed with them!!! On last pregnancy I got DH to clean out the litter but towards the end I had to do it a few times myself, I just wore disposable gloves but tbh if you just make sure and wash your hands after, it's just incase you might get some tiny particles on your hand say even under your fingernails and if you didn't wash it off properly and say went and made a sandwich you could possibly get infected BUT because you have a cat already you are probably immune to it, it's only dangerous if caught for the first time when pregnant and I think when it's in the latter stages of pregnancy. You can also get it from eating undercooked meat or gardening without gloves (and again not washing hands properly!) You can get a blood test done to see if you are immune to it if you want - I didn't bother as have had cats all my life and doc said not to bother as I'd most definitely be immune! Just make sure she is up to date on vaccinations and wormed and de-flead regularly which I'm sure you do already! Amount of people that screwed up their noses when I said I had cats AND a baby - oh my gosh such stupid ignorant comments from some :duh: :duh: It's them I feel sorry for tbh. And dd is so healthy never been sick (or neither has me or DH).
veryv Posts: 970
[quote="BusyDee":i7qs6alw]Yeah we have 3 cats (and 3 dogs!) and not a single thing has changed with them!!! Just make sure she is up to date on vaccinations and wormed and de-flead regularly which I'm sure you do already! Amount of people that screwed up their noses when I said I had cats AND a baby - oh my gosh such stupid ignorant comments from some :duh: :duh: It's them I feel sorry for tbh. And dd is so healthy never been sick (or neither has me or DH).[/quote:i7qs6alw] It's funny when people come into the house that dont like cats and expect me to put her outside when they're there! No way. I've also heard the uban legends that the cat will smother the baby, give her a disease and attack her in her crib blah blah, and how we MUST get her used to being outside all the time as I coulnd't possibly have her indoors with baby! Leave it so. I'd say I'm immune to that disease as I've also had cats all my life. The only thing I'd be concerened about is if baby crawled over near the littertray, that's all. The cat is very standoffish in general and I know for a fact she wouln't go near a baby as it would be beneath her!
BusyDee Posts: 8527
Is there anyway you can section off the litter area? Ours is in the utility and we have a baby gate up and DH cut out a small hole so the cats can get through when it's closed! Its actually been up for about 2 years now was originally a doggie gate to stop the dogs going in and robbing the cats food!!! I know I've heard all those stories too, they never had any interest in her as a baby and anyway it's not as if they would have been left alone together so that they would have had time to get in beside her and I thought it was so rude of people to suggest we would be that careless :duh: It obviously stems from years ago when the cats were all kept outside in the freezing cold and snuggled in beside the baby for a bit of warmth!! One of ours is a very nervous cat - only likes me and still doesn't like DH! But she loved dd she used to get up on the couch beside me when I'd be feeding her and rub up against her legs purring, I couldn't believe it, thought she would be really put out as she would always sit on my lap on the couch but now the baby was there but she didn't mind, I still made time for her, let her up on my lap etc when dd was asleep etc. I'm sure yours will be grand too.
veryv Posts: 970
[quote="BusyDee":21zve8pf]Is there anyway you can section off the litter area? Ours is in the utility and we have a baby gate up and DH cut out a small hole so the cats can get through when it's closed! Its actually been up for about 2 years now was originally a doggie gate to stop the dogs going in and robbing the cats food!!! One of ours is a very nervous cat - only likes me and still doesn't like DH! But she loved dd she used to get up on the couch beside me when I'd be feeding her and rub up against her legs purring, I couldn't believe it, thought she would be really put out as she would always sit on my lap on the couch but now the baby was there but she didn't mind, I still made time for her, let her up on my lap etc when dd was asleep etc. I'm sure yours will be grand too.[/quote:21zve8pf] That's a great idea about sectioning off the litter area. I was watching Nanny 911 and a couple had an extendable circular 'fence' thing that they used in the sitting room so the babies could crawl around the floor but not leave the room. I haven't seen those in any nursery shops though. Also I was trying to figure out how the cat would be able to go upstairs to 'her' bedroom (she has claimed one of spare rooms so my mam has a roomie whenever she stays the night) if we had a baby gate. That's a good idea to cut a hole in it coz she would seriously be put out if she couln't get a few quiet hours of sleep! Someone else recommended buying a screen door for the baby's room, like the ones they have to keep out flies in hot countries. That way the bedroom door could be left open but the cat couldn't get in just in case, but I don't know if that's necessary.
BusyDee Posts: 8527
That might be a good idea then if your cat does be upstairs, just ours we would make sure we shut the kitchen door after us but the odd time they might get down and make a beeline for her room as it used to be theirs when we first moved in we kept them in that room for a few weeks so they still see it as their room!! They would just run in and hide under the bed. I always do a head count before I go to bed anyway to make sure they are all in the kitchen :o0