Dave the hen.

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BlushingB Posts: 1634
Dave came home from the pub late one Friday evening stinking drunk, as he often did, and crept into bed beside his wife who was already asleep. He gave her a peck on the cheek and fell asleep. When he awoke he found a strange man standing at the end of his bed wearing a long flowing white Robe. "Who the hell are you?" demanded Dave, "and what are you doing in my bedroom?" The mysterious man answered "This isn't your bedroom and I'm St Peter." Dave was stunned "You mean I'm dead!?!! That can't be, I have so much to live for, I haven't said goodbye to my family. . . you've got to send me back straight away." St Peter replied "Yes, you can be reincarnated but there is a catch. We can only send you back as a dog or a hen." Dave was devastated, but knowing there was a farm not far from his house, he asked to be sent back as a hen. A flash of light later he was covered in feathers and clucking around pecking the ground. "This ain't so bad" he thought until he felt this strange feeling welling up inside him. The farmyard rooster strolled over and said "So you're the new hen, how are you enjoying your first day here?" "It's not so bad" replies Dave, "but I have this strange feeling inside like I'm about to explode." "You're ovulating" explained the rooster, "don't tell me you've never laid an egg before?" "Never!" replies Dave. "Well just relax and let it happen" So he did and after a few uncomfortable seconds later, an egg pops out from under his tail. An immense feeling of relief swept over him and his emotions got the better of him as he experienced motherhood for the first time. When he laid his second egg, the feeling of happiness was overwhelming and he knew that being reincarnated as a hen was the best thing that ever happened to him . . . Ever!!! The joy kept coming and as he was just about to lay his third egg he felt an enormous smack on the back of his head and heard his wife shouting................... "Dave, wake up you drunken bast*rd, you've sh*t the bed."
Anonymous Posts: 24542
08 bride Posts: 295
meeeeeow Posts: 1349
That's one of my favourite joke!!! I heard a story about two girls who fell asleep in a bed after a party, completely pissed and in the morning they found a human poo in the bed with them!!! :eek :eek :eek Neither of them could remember anything and both were fully dressed when they woke up. To this day they don't know what actually happened... :eek :eek :eek BTW - I wasn't one of them!!!!
Gone2007 Posts: 4182
Oh for fucks sake! :o0 :o0 :o0 :o0 :o0 :o0 :o0 One of the guys I works with lives with a couple, and yerman is a real dipso. He's often woken up at 3 in the morning to hear them screaming at each other through the wall coz hes wet the bed! :eek