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poppet56 Posts: 977
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ladyinwaiting Posts: 198
Sorry poppet - but I dont think its your call - there must be a reason your H2B wants him - How would you feel if he didnt want your choice of bridesmaid [I am assuming your sister... ] ? I will probably be unpopular on this...... :-8
Lureal Posts: 455
To be honest you don't really have a say in this unless who he picked had hurt you in some way! I mean he obviously picked him for a reason and it is 100% his decision.
poppet56 Posts: 977
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lovebug997 Posts: 4034
Have to say I'm in agreement with ladyinwaiting on this one! I'd be saying that it's your future husband's decision who he wants standing beside him on the day and just because you don't know him doesn't mean he's a "chav" as you put it who will ruin your day. I'd be saying take a serious chill pill. You wouldn't like it if your h2b told you that you couldn't have someone you wanted in the bridal party. At the end of the day both of you are getting married so the day is equally his as it is yours.
sunny505 Posts: 1807
Sorry I agree too - you want your sister's fiancee. Totally your side. There must be a reason h2b wants him - sounds as if they go way back. I'd find it strange if h2b picked my male friends - even though he's known them since we've been together. Usually it's a childhood or college friend. I do sympathise though as h2b's bestman I would never pick in a million years. We are respectful of each other - but don't really click. He's a bit like the guy you describe. But I've never said anything to h2b. It really is his decision.
Babyloco Posts: 964
I really dont like the guy my h2b is having as BM but i cant do anything about it-he will definitly be doing it-its my h2b decision so im just going to have to go with it. Really your h2b couldnt uninvite the guy could he? No man would want to have to do that and i think its unfair to ask him to do that .
poppet56 Posts: 977
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Maria1983 Posts: 390
I'm sorry, but I don't think you're being fair at all. Thhis is not your call in the slightest, this is his decision and his alone. I'm sure he's not deciding who enacts as your bridesmaid. My fiance is not getting my brother to be his groomsman and I'm not in the least bit upset. He doesn't even know him that well. I'm having his sister to be my maid of honour on the other hand. It's about the people closest to you/him, it should not be the other half's decision, not to mention you're judging a guy you don't even know.
Lureal Posts: 455
But poppet guys don't give as much info as girls normally do. What I mean is maybe he has let on like he is just a mate to you but he might actually feel close to him. You can't decide it should be your sisters fiancee even if they do get on really well. Your H2B would have picked him if he wanted to. Also I must have read wrong cos I thought you said he did mention it to you a few weeks before you asked him? I would go mad if H2B wanted me to change who I picked because he thought one of my friends was too much of a messer or something and suggested me picking some one else. Although in saying that I was kinda pressurised into picking my family by my mother so one of my BMs choices would be different if i could go back in time!