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DH doing exams & TTC - Am I mad?

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MMarried Posts: 53
Hi, Just wondering if anyone has been inthis situation and how u coped. DH is doing exams and we're planning to TTC next month but I'm worried that I won't be able to cope on my own. He says it will all be fine, that he will be there, but I'm nervous. He has another 2 yrs to go though so if we delayed we would only be delaying for a few months cos time is ticking! I feel guilty too that he is going to be under a lot of extra pressure trying to cope himself. It's the only thing making me nervous - can't wait to start apart from this problem - but there never really is a 'perfect' time anyway. Anyone been in a similar situation? Any comments appreciated!
jellybaby Posts: 2316
Not exactly the same situation, but my DH is doing his final course exams in August, and we had said all along that we would wait til after his exams to ttc. But both of us got fed up waiting, and decided that like you said, there's never going to be a 'right' time. Also, we realised that it could take several months or years to conceive. So we went ahead with our ttc plans, and luckily it only took us a couple of months to get the bfp. At the end of this week, DH has to go away as part of the course for 3 weeks (I will be 17 - 20 weeks while he is gone). His exams will then be on while I am 25 weeks gone. I think he is more worried about leaving me alone, than I am of being alone while he's gone! Like you, I felt guilty, and felt that I was putting him under unnecessary pressure, but he really wanted this too, and insisted that we didn't wait. I haven't been too well either, have been sick right from the start (and still am now). Have also developed sciatica, which can be quite severe at times, and this has meant that DH has been doing practically everything for me up to now, but has never complained once (which of course, makes me feel even more guilty :oops: :roll:). Anyway, I supposed my point is, that you never know what's going to happen, so I personally would not put it off. If your DH gets very busy with his exams, etc, perhaps you would have family or friends who could help you out when you needed it? If we had our time again, we would still go for it :lol:
MMarried Posts: 53
Hi Jellybaby, Thanks for posting, I guess not many are in this kind of a situation! It's reassuring that I'm not the only one out there. I feel a bit more confident about it now. We're going to try for a due date close to summer 07 so that he'll be around for a while and then I'l be on maternity leave while he finishes the exams off - so complicated - but it'll be worth it!
grumpy Posts: 1280
Speaking as someone who sat Leaving Cert with an unbelievably cranky baby, do anything you can to avoid exams + baby. Its just not worth it. He'll be stressed out, which won't help you or baby, and even if you decide to be the sole carer during that time, he won't be immune to the crying. You'll be stressed trying to deal alone - and its not just for exam time, it'll be for weeks or months prior to that. You could be lucky and have a great baby, in which case, my experience is irrelevant. Or you could spawn a demon child, like I did ;).
butterflybride Posts: 3
Hi, I got pregnant when both my partner and I were in our second year of college in differnet colleges which meant i went through most of the pregnancy stress alone which was unavoidable though. I was six months pregant doing my second year summer exams and then took at year out which meant my partner went on to do his final exams leaving me to cope with our newborn baby. At times it was hard but he did his exams and passed. Then we all moved so i could do my finals, at times we had our hairy moments and when we look back now we wonder how we managed we lived on student grants and a bit of financial support from our parents. There never is a right time if you try to pick one something will always get in way be it study or money or something else that life throws at you.Our timing obviously wasnt planned but our little girl is going to eight in August and i woudlnt change that for anything. Go for it you will be fine even if you have to do it bit on your own it will all be worth it when your little baby smiles at you for the first time and remember what doesnt kill you can only make you stronger. Good luck whatever you decide.
crosard0805 Posts: 34
Hi, I was 3 months pregnant doing my final exams for my degree, plus I was also working full time, I never thought I would cope but I was very lucky and it was not a problem for me. My hubby was doing exams when the baby was only 3-4 weeks old but he managed ok too. My friends hubby was in the middle of his exams when they had their baby, and he still managed to sit his exams and get good results. The course I did, was a part time evening course, and it was full of people who were at the stage in their lives where they had young babies or children at home. What I am trying to say is, it is possible to have a baby and still manage to keep a job down and do exams. As someone said, there is never a good time to have a baby, so I would not put off having a child if it is something you both really want. best of luck with it all. x
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