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Tesa Posts: 34
I have a bt of a dilema
Tesa Posts: 34
Take 2... Have a dilema. getting married next year and the place we are having our reception holds 90 people... H2B, my folks, his folks and me sorted out a rough wedding list ages ago to be sure we could go with this venue. Now I find out my folks want to invite more people and have them eat at a differnt venue.... still go the church and afters etc........... surely thats the biggest insult to those people??? Going a bit nuts here...... thought we had it all sorted out... Beginning to wonder who is getting married... my parents or me? I want my parents to enjoy the day but tearing my hair out and we can't even have a civil conversation now. ..... plus....... we are putting some of our friends in the afters so their friends can come..... Am I being unreasonable or what??
hagfromhell Posts: 2146
Nooooo you are not being mean or selfish it's everyone else that is doing that!! We havn't told ANYONE and are not telling anyone until the invitations arrive on their doorstep because I knew it would be hijacked. Unfortunately there is no easy way of dealing with this and using kid gloves on people at a time like this does not work so you are going to have to be firm - tell them it is your day (and remember this is the only time you and h2b are going to go through this). Sit down and tell them it is going out of control and you are not happy as the decisions seem to have been taken out of your hands. And they take about bridezillas I wonder is there a term for parents. (And just my opinion but I think having a different venue for the other guests would be a bit strange). REMEMBER You can't keep everyone happy and at the majority of weddings somebody's nose is left out of joint.
milis Posts: 7998
Oh please don't let your parents do that! It would be so insulting for the guests who are being sent elsewhere for dinner!!!!! And it might start out as your parents friends being sent somewhere else, but it'd probably end up that they'd want to mix people up and send some of your friends there. Parents can be so awkward O:|
she Posts: 3298
It just sound ridiculous to me, stick to your guns.....
xx fairy mommy xx Posts: 1833
thats is the weirdest thing i have ever heard. i'm not even sure how it'd work exactly. If i was the guest, i'd rather not be impressed that i only got an afters invite, if I was that way inclined, than be sent to some alternative, possibly inferior, venue for a meal without the rest of the wedding party. Also, how would this very strange arrangement work to help your folks enjoy their day more????? They wont be eating with the outcasts will they? Think its time for the men in white coats on this one!!!! :action28
joyce country Posts: 84
OMG!!! That is the strangest thing that I have ever heard! You really have my sympathies having to deal with parents like that. I don't know [i:js5tvodk]what [/i:js5tvodk]happens to parents when their daughters get married, they seem to lose the plot entirely and think that it is somehow their wedding!! My mother went a bit bananas when my sister was getting married too. I don't have any advice for you I'm afraid, just wanted to sympathise...
ScarlettoHara Posts: 8442
Hey I agree with the other girls. This idea is pure madness if you ask me. You will just have to explain to your Mam that when you decided on the venue it was 90 max and thats all your are having. The notion of sending diff guests off for a meal elsewhere just WONT work. Im afraid you will have to put your foot down on this one with her. Do you have any sisters/aunts who might be able to talk to her and help her see sence?
NowGone Posts: 8042
That's the height of bad manners - basically you'd be telling your guests that some were important enough to be in the room with you and others werent'.Could you not compromoise and have a big affters, and just ask them to that?
Tesa Posts: 34
Thanks for the replies. I feel like it is a no win situation. My folks - bring their extra friends and I feel crap about it all day. Or if i don't let them bring their friends..... i feel sooooo guilty. I already feel so guilty as I love them to bits and want them to enjoy the day..... I have felt like crying my eyes out all day........ I had suggested all their friends go to the afters..... but they have come up with a idea now... that their friends could come to the mass and the drinks reception..... instead of the afters.... thats bit rude / wierd too isn't it??? thanks for the feedback.. it s o great to have a rant....