Dilema

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noon Posts: 229
Hi Girls, Looking for a bit of advice. We've been married 15 months and I was ready ttc from day one. DH is 4 years younger than me and wasn't ready so we decided to wait. We eventually started ttc in Feb this year and like many of us I thought I'd get lucky quite quickly but AF has arrived every month since. Problem is I have been asked to be a bridesmaid in February for a friend (who was my bridesmaid). I had said to DH that if I wasn't pg by April we would stop until after friend's wedding. The thing is I don't think i can stop ttc, i was so upset at weekend when AF arrived and I can't imagine waiting until next year to try again. I'm just worried if I was lucky enough to get pg in the coming months I would either be heavily pg around the wedding or miss the wedding. What would you do? Do you think i'm being totally selfish? I am afraid to mention it to my friend as she does not want kids and I'm not sure she would understand.
sunnyside Posts: 3164
I think it woud be foolish to put your plans on hold if you want to have a baby. A wedding will come and go but a baby or the opportunity to have a baby may not. So if it was me I would go ahead with your own plans and see what happens. Don't put your life on hold for one day. I'm sure your friend will understand and don't worry too much about it until you have to. Good luck. :wv
Sassy Posts: 2269
I agree with sunnyside. You don't know how long it will take you to get your BFP and if you put of ttcing until next year it could take you a few months. I delayed ttcing because i was my sisters bridesmaid and now i am 11 month trying and she is 5months pregnant. She was one of the lucky ones.
littledolly Posts: 393
Hi noon I've PM'ed you!
babe06 Posts: 898
I agree with the others - i put off ttc as was bridesmaid to a friend and stupidly went back on the pill for a month - doctor told me i was putting myself back atleats 6 month to a year by doing this but sure I didn't believe him. I then start ttc again staright away hoping to have it all over and done with for my sisters wedding - but doc was right 7 months later still nothing then the following month - the one month I really didn't want it to happen because of wedding - yep got my BFP! Now I'm due 2 weeks after sisters wedding and couldn't be happier - infact my entire family especially my sister were thrilled. Did have to stp down as bridemaid as size 10 dress was alreay bought but my cousin was asked to step in adn she was so thriled I really think it worked out for the best. Your friend will understand and you odn't want to make a decision you might regret.
babyboom Posts: 294
hi noon think I've just pm'd u hope it worked best of luck *)
Mrs March Posts: 175
I was in the same situation. I avoided TTC for a few months so that I wouldnt' be in danger of missing her wedding entirely. I began to TTC because I didn't want to look back on 6 months of wasted time. Who of us knows if there'll be trouble conceiving? As it happened, we got our BFP straight away, I was SHOCKED I can tell you. I would have been 8 months at my friends wedding. I told her straight away as we were about to go dress shopping. There's two other BMs too. She was not very excited about our news when we told her. Very chilly reception. But she's great now. While she hasn't quite apologised for giving such a bad reaction she has explained that it was because she was upset that I wouldn't be her BM and be there for her. I have told her I'm still going to be there for her, just won't be wearing the dress. TBH, even if she hadn't chilled out about the situation, I would not regret trying when we did. It was our time and I took it. I would love to have been BM for my friend but these things happen. With my BMs I told them all that babies came first. Don't base this decision on your friend's reaction, base it on how you feel. Losing a BM is NOT the end of the world.
noon Posts: 229
Hi Girls, Thanks so much for the replies I really appreciate it. I'm going to go ahead with ttc, just needed some reassurance that I wasn't being selfish. :thnk
Mama Dora Posts: 14987
Why would you put your life on hold for anyone else,I surely would'nt and I would'nt expect it of anyone either...keep on ttc and stick with it, its only the 2nd month/
Bride2004 Posts: 12
I would not let a wedding influence when I get pregnant. A wedding, although very important, is just one day. Go for it!