Disrespectful Couples....

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ReginaFalange Posts: 10290
Have you ever looked at a couple and wondered why they are still together? I know some couples who are just so disrespectful to each other (either in public to each other or in how they behave when their partner is not there) and I just don’t understand how they can be like that and still be happy together?? I saw two recent examples of this at the weekend and it just really makes me wonder why these people stay together. I know that kids, finances etc are an obvious reason but you’d think that if you are going to stay together for the sake of the kids you’d at least make an effort to treat each other with respect so as to set them a good example?
Sweetmum Posts: 2146
yes definitely! DH's friend is going out with his girl for 17 years and treats her like muck, he has told her he doesnt want to marry or have kids,even though she wants this.she's 37.( i suppose at least he's honest) however he spends all weekend in the pub, spends no quality time with her at all.she lives away from her family and friends. he has had lots of one night stands and she has even seen pictures on his phone of other women! when he talks to her, he always puts her down O:| O:| they are always fighting and i have lost count of the times we have called to their house and she is in tears. honest to god she is should a doormat. how she sticks this treatment i just dont know.
ReginaFalange Posts: 10290
Gosh Sweetbride, thats a pretty bad example. Why does she stay with him?
Sweetmum Posts: 2146
i have thought that so many times and i just don't know Columbo30 O:| O:| he shows no respect for her at all only himself. i dont know why she is with him, i really dont. is it a lack of confidence thing?she is a fairly confident girl though and has a good career. they never do couple things or go on holidays together but he heads off on benders with his mates!!
ScarlettoHara Posts: 8442
You know, Im really sorry to say this, but its not all his fault. Going from your post it seams as if you are laying all of the blame on him. Yes it is appalling they way he is treating her, but surely she is as bad for putting up with it??? As you say they have no children and are not married so she has no reason to stay with him.
ReginaFalange Posts: 10290
Hi Scarlett I agree- its a two way thing. Thats what I mean when I say that I cant believe that some people stay together at all. Maybe they dont know what it is like to be in a nice, respectful relationship.
Sweetmum Posts: 2146
i agree definitely with you, its not all his fault was just giving you a idea of how he treats her. she shouldnt put up with this appalling behavior and no one is forcing her, so i cant understand why she does? she has no reason to stay with him at all so she should just RUN!
Urban Fairy Posts: 3987
I know what you mean, but sometimes believe it or not, it works! Ok maybe its not as bad (or is it) if they are both treating eachother like much, they are both alpha, but when one is bullying the other, thats when its sad to see them together. Reminds me of Mary and John in Father Ted :o0
ReginaFalange Posts: 10290
Think that there is a difference in banter – or couples who enjoy a good ould row with each other. I’m talking about people who put each other down in company or just make a mockery of their relationship. I know this girl who is married with kids and every time she is out without her husband she acts like tramp- sorry but I can think of a better word. She gets filthy drink and throws herself at any man who will even look at her. Starts fights with other girls and disappears for the night. Stays out all night etc... :eek
Nadie Posts: 1111
I think some people, women maybe are worse than men, stay with someone who is awful to them because they think it's better than being alone, which they see as the only alternative. I have a friend who starting going out with a fella when she was 22, married him when she was 31, and he is horrible to her. Talks down to her, quite nasty like, does not do anything around the house cos it's "her job" even though they both work full time and are home the same time each day. Over the years she has piled on the weight, and won't leave her job that she's been in for 10 years even though she's unhappy in it because she's afraid of a new place. This fear and low self esteem has crept into every part of her life. So basically it's fear that keeps these people together - better the devil they know than be alone.