Do your parents know your salary?

We've Moved!

Our wonderful discussion forums have now moved to Facebook...

Click to join us in our HIGM ("Help I'm Getting Married") group!

Bridget Posts: 539
I feel so annoyed with myself. I have a job which can be annoying at times. I work for a small company, but I often get roped into other jobs which are not part of my original job. Also, I have a professional qualification, but the salary in this job is quite low. I just mentioned some of the annoying incidents to my parents. They wanted to know what salary I was on. Obviously, I am ashamed to have put so much effort into studying, getting experience etc, over the years, and to be still on a low salary. They asked me over the weekend what I was on. I tried to answer indirectly, but they did everything to try and stick me to a figure. I added a few tsd on to my actual salary, but I feel annoyed that they got an answer out of me. I felt bullied into giving an answer regarding salary. Has anyone else experience of this? Have you told your parents, or politely told them that you do not want to say. I feel particularly annoyed, because, I only had a temping job for 1.5 yrs after finishing college. The money was the same as if I had done a secretarial course. My Dad in particular, wasted no time telling me that I had a job that anyone could have, and that going to college was a waste of time. People with no education were earning more money than me etc. (I got a grant for college, so they didn't have to pay. Just because I was good at school, the teachers made it seem like going to college would be good for getting jobs etc.) I felt I got no support from my parents when I needed it. Obviously going to interviews, you need to be positive, and not feeling a failure because of earning little money.
Mrs Neadi* Posts: 1128
i told my mother what i was on and i've never heard the end of it since...oh it's all very well for earn more than me etc. it's not fair..the cost of living where she lives is much less! i'm sent on a guilt trip everytime money is mentioned i wish i'd never opened my mouth.
Anonymous Posts: 24542
God almighty :shock: Bridget, I've read several of your posts before and I hate to say this, but your parents come across as some pieces of work! All they seem to do is find ways to put you down. I can't recall you ever saying that they were supportive in any way to you at all. Re: what you earn - it's absolutely NONE and I stress NONE of their business. If they ask, say that you're earning good money thank you very much. If they persist, tell them where to go. From the sounds of things, you owe them nothing and I'd tell them to f*** off if they have nothing constructive to say to you.
AB Posts: 72
Very few people walk into fantastically paid jobs from college especially if they haven't studied something that is specifically vocational. The thing is that often with a college education you then have the background that will help you go further once you have the practical experience behind you...Well that's what I'm hoping in my low paid job!! My parents seem to be opposite - they thing anything I earn is fantastic - I think they can't over the fact that any one would want to pay me at all and they don't seem to realise how expensive the cost of living is.
Bridget Posts: 539
I was always conscientious at school, did all my homework properly etc. When I was in secondary, my parents used to complain about all the time I would spend on my homework. They don't think that studying is worth the effort, esp. when people in factories & manual jobs can earn lots of money. If I was a man, then it would be a fair point to have a trade instead of studying, but I notice that there are not a lot of high paying jobs there for women. Getting the well paid jobs tends to be 'being in the right place at the right time', and putting in lots of effort does not guarantee anything. It was always a bone of contention that I went to university. My Dad thought I would have been better off spending the 4 yrs working. None of my cousins etc went to university so it was a new thing for my family. I think it is a case of my parents being proved right if I end up just doing as well as people with no college education. Dad always couldn't see the point of going to college. I think I was talked into going to college by the teachers, because I got 6hons in the Leaving Cert, and it would be a 'waste' to just do a secretarial course. Now, even though I liked college, I found it hard to get a proper job when I left, whereas all the people from secretarial courses walked straight from their courses into a job.
Frankie Posts: 1571
Well I did go to College because everyone told me how much of a waste my good Leaving Cert would be, etc. Anyhow, I left after the first year and started working full time & never looked back. I really enjoy working and while I'm not being paid a huge amount at the moment, it pays for the house and the bills, and the wedding :roll: My parents do know what I earn - but that's because i work for a family company :P I do try to edit stuff I tell them though because it's easier
ed* Posts: 402
Hi Bridget - Going off your point about parents knowing your salary..I know what you mean about college education. I left college after 1.5 years of a 4 years degree, the course wasn't for me and to be honest I wanted to work instead. My friends stayed in college and did their degree (and got high grades etc)...but when I got talking to one of my closest friends that I went to college with about salaries I couldn't believe that I was on more than alot of the people from my class. For me obviously that's great, but I genuinely felt embarrassed as I know the amount of work some of them put in for those 4 years. I now have an extra 3.5years experience behind me but what I have to remember is that their degree may open doors for them in the future that would be closed for me. I think it depends on the type of person and the area they are interested in. I didn't know what I wanted to do career-wise and what I did was right for me. I realised through experience what I wanted to do and am working my way in that direction. The good thing is, the company I work for will pay for me to do courses related to my job, which is ideal for me.
MrsKtoB Posts: 168
Bridget, what you earn is entirely your own business, why did your parents feel they needed to know this? I never went to college but many of my friends did, unfortunately I feel that sometimes in schools youngsters are led to believe that once they have x amount of points then everything will be fine. No one adds in that the career path you follow should ideally be something you enjoy and are good at and that college is only the start of it, the career ladder really begins afterwards and if you are not a very determined ambitious person it is very easy to fall off that ladder. Being qualified isnt just enough. I dont have a brilliant job but I enjoy it.
Bridget Posts: 539
I was in a good job in a multinational, where I had got promotion. I got made redundant from this job 2 yrs ago. I had been doing the professional exams, as I was expecting redundancy. My experience was specialised, and was not useful for getting another job. I had to take anything when I got made redundant, bearing in mind my lack of 'general' experience in my field, and the fact that I did not want to have gaps in my CV. When I started this job, I was paid at 18K for the first year. I am doing more 'useful' work etc, making the boss aware of my achievements etc, when looking for a pay increase. I could get a job with proper pay on a contract/maternity leave, but I feel a bit afraid to give up a 'permanent' job for a contract. I have been really trying to get a permanent job with proper pay, but there seems to be crowds going for 1 job. It is not enough to be determined etc, if the interviewers continually pick someone else. They say that my experience is good for the last 2 yrs, but other people have better experience. Also, H2B and I don't live together, so I would be afraid of trying to pay the mortgage if I had unemployed gaps between contract jobs.
Strawberry Posts: 148
hi Bridget I've been working about 12 years since finished college and over that period I've been made redundant twice. The second time was the hardest and it took me 5 months to find a suitable job and I had to take a good ditch in salary. However, I think you're right, you do have to take what you can get when you're unemployed but its so much easier to get a job when you have one. So I would suggest if you're not happy in your current job to look around and put the word out there that you're available. You will have an entirely different experience and a lot more choice than when you were unemployed. I found dealing with a lot of the recruitment agencies quite demoralising but I have had much better experiences with them while in full time employment. Don't get me wrong, some of the agencies are great and do their best for you but the majority, in my experience were not. Anyway, my advice to you is to take your time and keep doing your current job until you find something more suited to your skills