So it is imminent until my wedding day and to say im excited would be an understatment- im excited for it to be over!!!!
Ive planned every single bit of my wedding down to the last detail and Im now so resentful of my H2B, he has literally done NOTHING apart from get his suit. Dont get me wrong, I've enjoyed most of the planning but now that I reflect on a year of me doing everything I really just feel so fed up and demoralised. I just cant believe that he is going to have a wonderful wedding day with all the gratitude and I'll be the one really stressing knowing that every decision was mine. Whenever I bring it up with him, he implies that i wouldnt have let him do any planning anyway, this is not true- i like things done a certain way but i appreciate any help or opinion. Now that I think about it, even when ive been venting he has no opinion and acts like he doesnt care. All he has done is contribute financially. Im feeling really upset today and feeling the pressure of absolutely everyone asking about the 'big day'.....I know people are excited which is great but i cant help but feel im going to have a miserable lead up to the day and day itself.
Is this normal how im feeling?
Definitely normal and please don't stress try to enjoy the run up, its such a special time!
I was more or less the same as you, I planned everything and he didn't do much bar get a suit and volunteer the odd opinion if I asked for it. Don't resent him for it though - you are marrying this man and about to have the best day of your life, promise.
Yes, I would say that I had the same experience as you, anything I asked him to do was treated like he was doing me a favour, it did really pee me off, and especially considering it was he who wanted a big wedding, not me.
Unfortunately it does seem quite usual but the one thing you said that is NOT usual was about him getting acknowledged / gratitude about it all - I don't know anyone who thinks men help out with wedding planning.. everyone knows it's always the brides who do everything and I've heard it from the horse's mouth - in most groom's speeches, they fess up and thank their new wives for organising everything.
I suppose I expected nothing more from my husband, so I didn't go OTT with anything that needed our input - as in, I didn't do anything DIY or anything like that so it didn't stress me out that I was left to physically do things. I, of course, had to write every invitation and thank you card, and drag information out of him for addresses etc, and eventually just contact people myself directly for addresses.
It is frustrating. They are useless. Why do we marry them?
Thanks so much for the replies. Its amazing how normal it made me feel and a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Will feddback after the big day.
I think it sounds normal enough.
I'm doing all the work, and sometimes i get upset about it. But my mum pointed out that do I actually want him helping? eh.. atm he doesn't want to have music at the drinks reception. and im so cross. literally the first thing he expressed an opinion on, and it differs to mine so i'm mad.
so now i think THANK GOD he didn't have opinions or help wit the rest of it lol
just keep reminding yourself of his good parts and enjoy your day
Boys care about suits if you're lucky
Why do we do this to ourselves?????
My OH is exactly the same and has the attitude that I wouldn't let him do anything anyway so there is no point but that is not the point. It's the input and opinion and a second confirmation of the decisions that I'm after to make me feel like I'm not doing it by myself!
I'd get upset too but I've now realised that he is just a boy and boys do not care about cakes or flowers or sweet tables or entrance music or unity candles or dresses or alterations or jewellery or or...... to infinity!!!!