Elderly parent worried :(

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miss choc Posts: 1270
My wedding isnt till next Spring but whats worrying me on the day is that my dad is in his mid eighties and hoping the long day wont be too much for him. Luckily he is not ill and can walk around but being that everyone will be up and about early the the day goes on so long. He gets tired easily and sometimes goes to bed early. Would love feedback on any other brides with elderly parents as this will be my main concern on the day checking that my dad is comfortable and enjoying the day. Mam assured me she will be checking he is ok but just want to know if there is anything else I can do.
contented Posts: 2625
Hi I'm lucky that my parents arent the same age as yours and can only offer you some advise. 1. in relation to the dads - the day is long because tbh they have nothing to do until its time to put on the suit and head to the church - at least thats how it was for mine. the women are the ones with loads to do, between hair and makeup there's a few hours gone - your dad can relax while thats happening 2. book a room for your parents in the hotel and that way if your dad is weary or needs a break he can do so without having to go home or be too far away if anyone needs to check up on him 3. dont worry yourself about him because he might pick up on your stress and get worried too. my uncle was out of hospital a week after a quadruple bypass and spend the whole day at his sons wedding. he went for a lie down after the meal and no one took any notice.
poodle Posts: 596
the only thing that i'd do would be to make sure to have a room upstairs in the hotel for your pop and let him know that its ok for him to lie down and have a snooze when he feels like it. :thnk
ScarlettoHara Posts: 8442
Hiya Have not been in this situation my self, but did not want to read and not reply. Id say your dad will be fine. He will be delighted having all his family around him. I always notice with my grandad (who is late 70s)that he really comes into his own when all the clan are around. Are your parents staying over in the hotel? He can always nip up for a nap if he is getting a bit weary. Do you have any brothers or sisters? If so you can just ask them to keep an eye on him and your Mam, maybe take turns to sit with them. :wv Best of luck
monkeybear Posts: 1926
My grandad will be at my wedding and i feel the same about him, wanting to know he'll be alright cos you're right its a very long day, Im making sure he gets to lie down in the afternoon, just some time out where he can snooze for a bit, he lives in the town where our reception is being held so he could go back and chill for a bit but im gonna let him use our room in the hotel or my parents room, just so he can get a bit of shut eye, for as long as he needs. I think if you have somewhere he can go away from the crowd to rest, if he needs to, then that would help alot, also you're going to be very busy yourself on the day so mention to your bridesmaids to keep an eye on him too and the Best man as well Im sure you're dad will be grand he'll be on high seeing his daughter getting married and there'll be plenty of people to make sure he's fine
miss choc Posts: 1270
Thanks for the replies I guess it just a concerned daughter worrying the funny thing is he will be grand on the day and I'll be the one fussing like mad. I am going to suggest if he wants a bit of sleep after the meal to go to our room also as they live in the town near to the hotel it will be handy for him to get a taxi home as he is oldfashioned and would like to get back to his own house. My fiance Mam, and relatives will check hes ok also we dont have brothers/sister either of us so will be checking everything goes ok for him. I'm sure on the day it will all turn out grand I'll be the one balling my eyes out going up the aisle with Dad :-8
ScarlettoHara Posts: 8442
Just let your aunts and uncles know of your concerns and Im sure they will help out. Also rely on your bridesmaids and groomsmen, thats what they are for :wv You will have a fab day, and your Dad will be so happy ti see his little girl get married
joy76 Posts: 175
hiya, like the other girls, i really felt i had to reply! i am in a similar situation. my dad (70) is just after major heart surgery and hasnt been v well since, in and out of hospital. thankfully that past week or so he has start to improve a little, but am still v worried. i am getting married in august and am an only child so am praying that my dad will start to improve v soon i also think tho when its such an important day they will find some strength from within to make it thru the day if u know what i mean. feel free to pm me if u would like to chat more Joy xx
delightfullywedded Posts: 163
Such a gorgeous topic!! Again, I felt I had to reply. I am from a family of 6 kids, and I am the last to get married, but not the youngest. I am 28, my mum is 59, my dad, 63. My H2B is also from a family of 6 but he is the youngest. He is 31, his mum is 74 and his dad, 71. My parents seem so young to me (my eldest brother will be 40 in May) and they are so vibrant but his parents seem, to me, and probably are, from a different vintage. His dad is actually quite youthful but I get worried about his mum. I think the whole day is a bit too much for her. She has been ill (not seriously but with the flu and a fall) for the last few weeks and her daughters think it might be due to the stress of the wedding (in fairness they said it would be any big event). I'm not sure how to handle this. They (H2b's parents) have a room in the hotel and I am hoping my FMIL will go for a snooze. Any input would be more than welcome, x
Missus Lippy Posts: 5879
I collected my grandparents from weddings a couple of times so my grandad could have a drink and not worry about driving. The first time, I dropped them off at the church, collected them and they went home for an hour or two (while everybody else would have been at the hotel and couple getting their photos) and I dropped them back around 5 for the dinner. The second time this wasn't feasible so another relative offered to look out for them during the day and got cups of coffee for them from the bar (my nan wouldn't be a big drinker or a lover of pubs) so they had this in the hotel foyer, which was nice and comfy. In the evening, they had me well warned to come and collect them early and both times I found them waltzing on the dance floor. The relative who was looking after them made sure they got some evening food and she said they had gone back out to the hotel foyer every now and again for a break from the loud music but mostly they had a great time chatting to people they hadn't seen in years. On the way home they were all chat about everything, on a bit of a high almost but the tiredness hit them the following day alright. I think as long as your dad knows he has somewhere to go if he needs it, he will be fine!