Enforcing no kids rule but what about FG's?

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Missus Lippy Posts: 5879
Hi all, Just wondering about the no kids rule. H2B in particular, is against having kids there because there are too many. Some would be young who he is afraid will be noisy in the church, some would be teenagers who he feels would be bored stiff all day (these are a mixture of his nieces/nephews and cousins of mine). I am in two minds about flower girls, so I am just wondering is it acceptable to have your flowergirls/page boys but still enforce the no kids rule for everybody else or is it all or nothing? :thnk
Spanish Bride 2b Posts: 778
I think it's ok to do that (probably because I'm doing it too! :o0 )
Barbalou Posts: 1617
We had the no kids rule, which nobody minded! One pal who recently had a baby asked if we'd mind if she brought him, we didn't think it would be a problem the baby was two months at the time and she was BF. We asked her to take him out of the church if he started to cry, which she didn't have a problem with. In the end she didn't bring him, not sure how she managed it for the day though. The only other kids were my flower girl and paige boy. Most people I think are generally understanding about no kids at weddings and many welcome the break.
Missus Lippy Posts: 5879
I actually thought people would welcome the break too but I am fuming. A relative of mine rang a few days back and asked would her 4 kids be invited (the wedding isn't for another 9 months yet so why she needs to know this early for I don't know). I remember this couple caused trouble about the same children at another family wedding so I am trying to be ready for anything else she throws at me. I explained to her that we still have to finalise the guest list yet but we were under pressure for costs so more than likely they wouldn't be invited. She was fair enough about it but ended the phone call with "well we will see nearer to the time but at the moment, they are all looking forward to coming". This made me feel so guilty (eejit I know :-8 ) but we have to call a halt somewhere! Anyone else got on opinion :thnk
ozypozy Posts: 2950
We don't really want kids at the church in particular and at all if we can help it but i really would love my cousins daughters to be there. they'll be 6 and 5 when we get married and i reckon the only way i'll get around it is by having them as my flower girls. It'd probably still annoy some people but its hard to keep everyone happy!
landlady Posts: 12
Hi lippy, i just wanted to let you know that you're not the only one being made to feel guilty. For the simple reason that we would have been overrun with children we have opted for none at ours in Sep 08. However h2b's sister seems to have a problem with her little darling not being invited and has chosen not to tell her that there will be no children at the wedding. So every time I see the child she's asking me will I be dancing with her, is there a chocolate fountain etc. I politely asked sister in law to be to tell her child now to avoid major uproar nearer the time but she came back with 'its a long way off yet, you might change your mind!!!' O:| O:| I am raging and think its so unfair that we are being made to feel bad about our decision. I wont be changing my mind!!!!!
Dreamster Posts: 6620
Lippy, here is my tuppence worth - your day, your way! If h2b is in agreement about no kids then ring your aunt/relative and say straight out that you have decided that there will only be a flower girl/s and that they will be leaving early. Do not use the money thing as an excuse, simply say that there are too many kids to invite and as h2b's nieces/nephews aren't being asked it would hardly be fair to have your cousins there.
Missus Lippy Posts: 5879
Landlady, that's really unfair on both you and the little girl. For all I know, the 4 kids might have been told they are coming too, or else they just don't want to stay with the babysitter for the day, who knows. Thanks for all the help anyway, will have to put it on the backburner until after Xmas now, although everything else is happening after Xmas too, the s**t will hit the fan all at once I suppose O:|
Gnomie Posts: 676
I was a no kids on the day bride too. However, my now sister in law said that she wouldnt go if her children werent so I backed down on nieces and nephews (which meant 5 children) but that was it. No other children were invited and all parents were informed. We were lucky because the nieces and nephews did behave on the day so I didnt really mind them being there.
Valkstar Posts: 2747
We've decided there will be absolutely no children at all! One aunt had a problem with her grandchildren not being invited....she wasn't nasty or anything, she was just worried about leaving them. The kids' mother was okay with it, but my aunt even said she'd stay at home to mind the children while my cousin came :ooh I said fair enough, if that's what you want cos I'm not changing the rules >:o) Anyway, we were going to have a flowergirl, but she'd be the only child in the church and reception so decided against it.