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Lizzie02 Posts: 2624
Hi, To cut a long story short, I have recently started on a course of clomid (fertility drug). Myself and my husband have had 2 miscarriages over the last two years. I have just found out that my family (who I have confided in) have told everyone and now my private life has been turned into gossip around the whole place. To say I am livid is an understatement! Has anyone dealt with this (or something similar) and would you recommend I say something or just keep schtum from now on and get on with my life and keep my mouth shut in future? Thanks in advance for your replies xx
IvytheTerrible Posts: 950
I PM'd you too but you must be livid, I think anybody would be. If this were me, OMG I would SO have to say something. I think I would tell them they broke a confidence but I have learned my lesson and will not be confiding in my family again. Hopefully they will feel guilty but that doesn't help you with the damage already done. Maybe the positive thing is, it's out in the open and you won't have to sneak around to appointments etc and maybe people will back off with the "have you news" etc.
Luka Posts: 1904
[quote="Lizzie02":1rgioe6w]Hi, To cut a long story short, I have recently started on a course of clomid (fertility drug). Myself and my husband have had 2 miscarriages over the last two years. I have just found out that my family (who I have confided in) have told everyone and now my private life has been turned into gossip around the whole place. To say I am livid is an understatement! Has anyone dealt with this (or something similar) and would you recommend I say something or just keep schtum from now on and get on with my life and keep my mouth shut in future? Thanks in advance for your replies xx[/quote:1rgioe6w] Hi Lizzie, Sorry to hear about your situation :action32 I don't know if your family were being malicious or not, maybe they just didn't know how to dealt with it. I had 2 misc before my son. Some of my family did discuss it, I know that, but I don't think they did it to hurt me, I think some just needed an outlet. Anyway, I wasn't too upset that I was talked about, I just wanted a baby & didn't care who knew what. Alot of people that found out were very kind, which was unexpected. I don't think people were gossiping about me & even if they were, I'm sure after a few days there was something else to talk about. My 2 misc were at 8 & 10 weeks. I was told (by my gynae) that the chances of my third pregnancy being sucessful were still far greater than me having a third misc & he was right. good luck & pm me if you have any questions. :babydust:
Lizzie02 Posts: 2624
I do actually think it was done without any regard to my feelings or the feelings of my husband. This isn't the first time something like this has happened but I honestly thought they had copped on and wouldn't do it again (particularly as I am going through a hellish time at the moment with unemployment aswell). I feel now that if I can't rely on my mother or sisters to confide in or look to for support that I have no-one (which isn't entirely true but it really feels like it right now). I feel so isolated, upset and lonely :o(
cremebrulee Posts: 8546
I'd be fuming if something like that happened to me. I'd probably be saying nothing to them in future... if you do, you run the risk of them telling everything again.
MinnietheMinx Posts: 2396
That's a horrible situation to be in. Your going through a lot at the moment and feeling that you can't confide in your family must be upsetting. The only thing I would say is that maybe they don't realise that you want this kept within the family. A friend of mine is having issues and will openly talk about it and doesn't really mind who knows. Sit your family down and tell them that your finding things tough at the moment and would like for them not to discuss things outside of the family and to please respect your feelings on it. Best of luck with the clomid, hope you get good news soon.
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Sweetmum Posts: 2146
Hi Lizzie02 If i was you I would definitely have a quite word on how disappointed and hurt,you and your Dh are on their behaviour. Some people just can't keep private information to themselves.Even if they mean well,their tongue runs away with themselves sometimes.Is there a close friend or other family member you can confide in? I would definitely not disclose anything else to them in the future.You need support while ttc, not getting stressed and upset :action32 Wishing you lots of :babydust: :babydust:
number1cat Posts: 369
Sorry to hear that your business has effectively become gossip fodder for people who seem to have too much time on their hands (and mouths). Since I can't of course extend my hand in comfort to you I hope you can accept this emoticon. :action32 Your family mightn't have realised that this would happen when they said about your difficulties. I know it is easier said than done but maybe in the future the best thing would be to say nothing until things are well under way (maybe don't say anything until it's obvious). The other tactic for the outsiders who gossip would be to go down the shocker route like the guy quoted in the "Any News" thread who said about trying in all the rooms of the house and still no result but in your case maybe also start telling them all about the gory procedures (exaggerate a bit if necessary) you have to endure. Mention needles and injections and all sorts of unmentionables (or at least stomach turning things) and that might silence them! In the meantime, lots of luck and :babydust: Mind yourself.
mrs mammy Posts: 1487
Something similar happened to me before, I confided to my mother that I had had a miscarriage and asked her to not tell or discuss it with anyone, of course she opened her gob and told people, she loves bad news my mother especially if it might get her some sympathy herself. I was livid, its very upsetting and something you want to keep private. I have learned my lesson now though and wouldnt tell her anything I dont want broadcast. Best of luck in everything :babydust: x
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