And boy do I have a number of things to say to you,
1. You did what was right for you [b:3c60gzp6]aren't you great[/b:3c60gzp6] !!! Lucky u alot of mum's would like to be in that situation but can't be due to financial pressure and no not 3 holidays a year or flash cars. I earn a good salary at the moment without having children and still can't afford the holidays etc as we have only just bought our first home and haven't been on a holiday in three years appart from a w/e in Rome so it is highly unlikely we will be able to afford them when we do have kids
2. I would have liked to have seen you respond to the ladies who took up your challenge to have an articulate discussion but obviously your are incapable of sustaining a viable arguement (sorry in baby speak that means you just bully and go quiet when someone knows more than you)
3. I worked in childcare for 4 years and gave each one of the children all the love and care I could possibly give them in order to be of help and support to their parents not a replacement, I really admired the parents who went and worked a full day and came to pick up their kids full of enthusiasm and smiles ready to start a second days work with their kids
4. Your "career" took at most 4 years to train for did it not and once you have learn't it there isn't a huge amount of maintainance to it I would presume so therefore you can pick it up and down when you wish. I spent 8 years studying and working 2/3 jobs to get where I am now and I am danmed if some little jumped up housewife is going to belittle me on choosing to retain my career which I worked so hard for because I choose to have children, my children will never want for anything on the emotional front from me because I can give them just as much love attention and care even if I work and will be a more fulfilled person because I can work. I would go insane in the house if I had to stay at home all day I don't even know how I would cope with maternity leave however I can work more flexible hours so that I have more time to spend with my kids when they are little but that will be it. I refuse to sit at home for the first 6 years waiting for them to grow up a little and wishing their lives away so I can go back to work. I want my kids to have a happy and fulfilled mummy who they can be proud of and look up to
5 My mum was a stay at home mom and so is one of my best friends both of whom say if they had their time again they would have at least worked part-time not for the money but for self fulfillment
6 Where was your child while you were on this site from 2:12 until 6:04 thats nearly four hours lots of valuable time spent with your daughter then
When you are ready for an articulate discussion dear I am ready and waiting lets see how brave you are now !
Apologies to all the other WOL's She really got my back up on this one
I found your article for you
Bambi, that was an excellent post. However you mention a couple of people there who would like to have worked part-time for self-fulfillment. I must say I find it sad when parents don't feel fully fulfilled when they are doing the only real job that actually matters, i.e. raising their own children. When I say it is the only job that really matters I think of it in the simplest form. Think of parents in third world poverty, or closer to home people who suffer domestic violence or feel threatened in some way. Their only reason for getting up in the mornings is to protect and nuture their children as best as they possibly can and succeeding in that I would assume brings self-fulfillment. I really don't wish to sound sanctimonious as I do understand their are parents who for whatever reason need to work outside the home, but I am disappointed to hear that self-fulfillment is one of the reasons as it suggests that raising their own children, that they chose to bring into the world was not enough for them. That the pride they should have in their children's achievements, encouraged and nutured by their own good work at parenting and generally seeing the rewards of such good parenting, that that isn't fulfilling enough is a shame.
Mistified I apologise if that point came across wrong I was talking about in my own case I get a huge amount of self fulfillment from working, and I in no way mean't that mums or dads who stay at home cannot be fulfilled quite the contrary. I really admire SAHP as I couldn't do it (i'd go nuts) and I do think that one of the most self fullfilling jobs is being a good parent regardless of whether you work or not.
The reason I made that point is that when I had this chat with my mum and friend that while they felt fulfilled as a parent and were so proud of their children and felt completely fulfilled in that respect they didn't always feel fulfilled in their own right as Mary or Ann as they felt they lost a little bit of themselves when they had children as they became a mum and wife first and themselves second, and they would have liked to have worked just to retain that little bit of themselves in an environment where they were themselves and not a wife and mum.
I hope I have explained this properly as it can be difficult to say what you wish to say while writing it down.
I really admire every woman who has children as regardless of whether you work or not it is a hard but very fulfilling job and I do apologise if that came across wrong
I found out last weekend that i am pg and im over the moon. I will have to go back to work full time after the baby is born because i cannot afford to stay at home and just live on my dh salary.
Another point not everyone wants to be a stay at home mum and this does not mean your a bad mum because you work. I for one would go off my head if i was at home all day every day so even if i could afford it i think i would still work. Just my opnion though
fair play to you bambi well said
Bamabi, no need to apologise. It was more a point of observation on my part. I agree that parents can become engulfed and totally consumed by their children, as indeed people can become engulfed by their jobs, or looking after elderly parents etc. and a little bit of personal time is vital for sanity. If part-time work for a parent restores that part of themselves then that is terriffic. My own mum went back to work when the youngest was 14, and she found it served to redefine herself as the university educated person she is. Having said that she was always such an insipration to us at home because of her university and previous career experience. I admired her mostly because for her generation she was blessed to have had such an education and a great career, but she saw the value in devoting a chunk of her life solely to her family, before resuming her career again. I'm babbling now so will sign off!
I just wanted to say well done for your thought out and rational posts. I have really tried to bit my tongue on this one but I have to say there was steam coming from my ears yesterday reading the post started by Susan D. I'm not going to go into my opinion of what she had to say - to be honest I don't think it warrants any reply.
As a mother of a five year old who was in creche since she was 6 months I went through all the feelings new mothers go through - I was not in a financial position to stay at home and had to continue to work full time and it certainly was not because I wanted to have two holidays/two cars or maintain any kind of extravangant lifestyle. However, I do feel I am a happier, more full filled person because I work and although I adore spending time with my daughter I feel for us, this is the option that works best. We still get to spend lots of quality time together in the evenings and at the weekend. We spend the evenings chatting about her day - what she did in school, doing her homework etc.
My daughter is a very well adjusted, confident and intelligent girl. She started school last September and at the parent/teachers meeting I was told that it was obvious to the teacher which children were in creche - they were ahead of their class mates academically, found it easier to settle into the rountine of school and had more self-confidence and mixed easieer with children who were at home.
I am in no way saying children who go to creche are better than children who stay at home - I am only relating what was told to me by a professional in the field of child education.
I think it is an awful pity that mothers - who after all only want the very, very best for their children - feel they have to defend themselves for their choice in the way to raise their children and live their lives.
[quote:21lu72cg]Bambi, that was an excellent post. However you mention a couple of people there who would like to have worked part-time for self-fulfillment. [b:21lu72cg]I must say I find it sad when parents don't feel fully fulfilled [/b:21lu72cg][b:21lu72cg]when they are doing the only real job that actually matters[/b:21lu72cg], i.e. raising their own children. When I say it is the only job that really matters I think of it in the simplest form. Think of parents in third world poverty, or closer to home people who suffer domestic violence or feel threatened in some way. Their only reason for getting up in the mornings is to protect and nuture their children as best as they possibly can and succeeding in that I would assume brings self-fulfillment. I really don't wish to sound sanctimonious as I do understand their are parents who for whatever reason need to work outside the home, but I am disappointed to hear that self-fulfillment is one of the reasons as it suggests that raising their own children, that they chose to bring into the world was not enough for them. That the pride they should have in their children's achievements, encouraged and nutured by their own good work at parenting and generally seeing the rewards of such good parenting, that that isn't fulfilling enough is a shame.[/quote:21lu72cg]
Why do people look at raising their own children as a job?
I agree very much with what you say about creche kids being so well rounded. My sister stays at home with her children but they have all gone to pre-school too and it really does bring them on so well to have that outside stimulus. My sister is fantastic with them too and every afternoon when they get in she does arts and crafts with them, or they help in the kitchen or in the house, even at age 2 or 3. Those kids were extremely well rounded with the combination of home and outside influence before starting school.
Yeah SusanD, shove it up your arse and piss off!
[quote:xctczzoj]Yeah SusanD, shove it up your arse and piss off![/quote:xctczzoj]
It would be one way of having sex and practically guaranteeing no more babies