Feel a bit down, need cheering up and maybe some advice

We've Moved!

Our wonderful discussion forums have now moved to Facebook...

Click to join us in our HIGM ("Help I'm Getting Married") group!

busybee07 Posts: 959
Hi girls, Im feeling a bit down the last couple of weeks, and its all got to do with my weight. As you can see from my ticker, I have a 7month old baby. Since having her i havent been able to shift the weight and i have been walking 3-4 times a week and cut back on eating crap. Im currently a size 16 which i know is not huge, but its getting me down. Im going to a wedding in Sept and were heading for the week, which i cant wait for. But everyone else that is going are all sizes 8-12 and i just feel huge compared to them! I need to buy holiday clothes and also need to get something for the wedding, and dont even know where to start. In a way im putting it off coz im so down. Can anyone help? I could also do with buying a whole new wardrobe, but dont know where to shop. I would love to know how to dress for my size so that i look good, i see so many girls who would be bigger then me but look better then me Sorry for the long post. need to get this off my chest and dont know who to turn to.
Salander Posts: 1639
i know its hard when you are a bit overweight and nothing seems to do anything for you. fair play to you for cutting out the crap for starters and excercising - its hard work! is there a weight watchers near you? i find some of the clothes in New Look can be quite flattering. dark jeans and boots are also good - gives you extra height and quite slimming. hang in there we all have days like this! and congrats on the baba!
whitedaisy Posts: 761
Hi busy bee, dont be so harsh on your self...your walking and cutting out bad food should start to show results soon enough!! your baby is only 7 months old your body is probably just getting back to normal, I blame all the celebs in the mags who unaturally get back into there size 8's days after giving birth! dont be comparing your slef to other women no one is perfect and we would all drive ourselves up the wall if we did this all the time. there are lovely dresses in the shops now that are tight around the boobies and then are loose from under your bust, these are very flattering. as nyota said see if there is a WW in your area (you can check on there website) !! good luck x
busybee07 Posts: 959
Thanks Girls, yes there is a ww in the area, but im not joining, ive joined before so have all the books and know the points system, so following it myself at home and weighing myself every week, so far ive lost about half a stone. I know im doing well, but im just dreading going to this wedding! I just dont feel like i want to sit around a pool all day with the other girls who are all between sizes 8-12. Even thou im losing weight i still carry all the weight around my tummy (always did even before babs) so need to try to cover that! I know i need to go shopping but just dont have the heart to do it, and a few friends have said they will come with me, but i think it will only make me feel worse going with them as they are size 10's. If only i had a fat friend, and i wasnt the fat friend. Sorry its really upsetting me today for some reasan and im crying as i type this.
annaleen Posts: 114
I used to be a size 16 so i know how you feel, nothing but exercise and cutting the crap will get rid unfortunately! but you will lose the weight and i bet you only think you look bad, we are always way more harsh on ourselves than others. have a look at simply be.ie and new look :wv
whitedaisy Posts: 761
well done half a stone is great...dont be getting upset :action32 thats great that you have friends that want to go shopping and help you! your just having a down day we all have them, some clothes can make you feel so much bigger than you actually are somaybe when you go shopping you can try on lots of styles and find somtthing that you feel comfortable in. Also for sitting around the pool there are lots of gorgeous sarongs and kaftans out in the shops that are really stylish!
BigBird1 Posts: 1727
Busy bee - i feel your pain, except i dont have the excuse of having had a baby!! Definitely try WW.... i started in January, and between then and June i lost almost 2 stone - it wasnt very difficult, just required focus and willpower. I still have plenty more to lose, but i'll get there eventually!! WW is definitely the key for me! ..as for the clothes thing, would you maybe go into debenhams or somewhere like that and try the personal shopper??? I know a girl who's sis did it in Cork and she got some fab stuff, especially things she would never have thought of buying for herself before. another thing i've heard people do is bring a really HONEST friend (with good dress sense) with them on a shopping trip, who will tell you what they think and wouldnt be afraid to say something didn't suit! Weddings and events can be a pain especially when you see all the other skinny minnies there in their fabulous dresses...last wedding i was at, it was looking at the photos of myself afterwards that kicked me into action. I'm definitely considering the personal shopper thing at some stage aswell, and hoping for good results. I've always been of the opinion that the prefect, worlds most flattering dress is out there for everyone - - - mind you i've to still find mine, but i am looking!! :o) Chin up girl, you might just be a little over critical of yourself (and it can make life a misery when you focus on it) I'm sure you're going to be fabulous, girl!!! Try not be too hard on yourself, you will get there in your own time, when your body is ready for it! What harm if it takes 6 weeks or 6 months, try not put yourself under too much pressure!! Sorry, that might sound a little patronizing, but i've determined that i'm going to be positive about things like this, and hoping it will work!! sending some hugs your way! :action32
annaleen Posts: 114
if your conscious of your tummy, get a nice black one piece swimsuit and a sarong. I don't really know what else to say, god damn weight, it effects everything from buying clothes to self esteem. but you know what... well done you for losing weight and keeping at it! you will get to a weight that you are comfortable with. a nice maxi dress for the wedding maybe, i got one recently and it does wonders for my figure and i'm a size 14 and a generous one at that!
jenni_x Posts: 73
im also a size 16 and have just been on holidays to Portugal and i wore bikinis but put kaftans on over them, i found marks and spencers had lovely swim wear that suited my shape and that i felt comfortable in there swimwear. for a new wardrobe i would recommend a-wear and i love penneys also evans have a new range of clothes in that start at a size 14 i think. also if you are into shopping online asos.com is brillaint, i love their dresses they also cater for all sizes hope that helps :D x
DublinGirl Posts: 1307
Hi Busy Bee. Big Hug!!! :action31 Dont' be upset. Look you've just had a beautiful baby and you shouldn't be so hard on yourself. Congratulations by the way. ANyway I can sympathise with you as I myself had DD2 last April and still struggle to shift weight. I think I have to mentally accept that my body shape has changed and no matter what I will never get back to the way I was as much as I would love my flat tummy back, however, I can try and tone up and do my best and be proud of myself. Lately I teaching myself to compliment myself in front of the mirror, instead of looking at myself with compulsion, I say 'not bad for a mother of 2'. What I'm saying is don't be so hard on yourself. We are not the lucky minority that snap back into size 0 jeans the next day. We are real women!!! I honestly think it takes a good year for your body to get over a pregnancy. Besides you are doing brilliant, half a stone and your baby is only 7 mths? That's fantastic. Try not get too down. Why not reward yourself for that half a stone and go and get your nails done or treat yourself to a new top. I would second New Look. They are reasonable but up on trend and have some very flattering floaty tops that look lovely with nice jeans. I'm sure even the size 8-12's will be sitting around the pool with some hang up or other about their bodies too. So many people fret before a holiday anyway about what they're going to look like and nobody takes any heed. My advice is to do the best you can between now and then, invest in some nice swim wear and kaftans etc. Also you can buy swimsuits with tummy panels in them now too. Please please don't get upset. Well done and a big Congratulations on the birth of baba.XXX