Feel so bad..

We've Moved!

Our wonderful discussion forums have now moved to Facebook...

Click to join us in our HIGM ("Help I'm Getting Married") group!

Chicken Licken Posts: 873
Hi girls - I feel so bad today, not physically but something I said! When I dropped my step-daughter to school there was another girl there who I found out last week was 4 months pregnant so I went over to congratulate her. When I said it to her she told me that she lost the baby last week!! I was so devastated for her and wanted the ground to open up and swallow me. I felt like a right feckin eejit! She has four other children and I am sure this is just devastating. I got to the office and just broke down when I saw H2B cause it really hit home then how this can happen at the blink of an eye. He was gutted for me for what I said but its done now and suppose I just need to stop dwelling on it. Do you think it appropriate that I send her a card to say how sorry I am to hear the news and that I am thinking of her...or should I do nothing at all??
babe06 Posts: 898
Send her a card - I bet she'd appreciate it especially since she told you. And you know how mush she would have bonded at this stage cause I no I had no idea until I became pregnant myself. It's just absolutely awful isn;t it and really makes you think how fragile life is. I know someone who lost a baby at 8 months pregnant last year and until I hold my little one in my arms I know I wont relax. But you juts have to keep telling yourself that milllions of women have healthy babies every day and why shouldn't you be one of them...
Mama Dora Posts: 14987
Oh janey I dont know...maybe just leave it now as im sure she understands how you didnt know....
mummy bear Posts: 3824
yeah i do as dolly said and just leave it... god its terrible though. *)
Sphynx Posts: 6795
I think a card would be a very nice touch. I didn't think I would want to receive anything at all, but I really appreciated the few cards people sent to me and have kept them. I would keep it very simple though - just get a "thinking of you" card or similar and just say something like "I was so sorry hear your sad news today and will keep you in my thoughts and prayers". I'm sure she would appreciate it and will make things less weird the next time you see her.
ros Posts: 749
I would send the card it is a nice gesture. Also, try not to internalise it too much as I note from your ticker that you are also around 4 months. When I was pregnant I used to internalise EVERY sad story I heard about pregnancy/miscarriages/childbirth and it did me no good. Take care.
gbirishgirl Posts: 246
Oh gosh I can't begin to think how you must have felt, especially being around the same stage... I agree with the others about a 'thinking of you' card - I know I really appreciated the messages that I received when I had a mc...
mammybean Posts: 10364
i agree, i would send her the card, i know i did appreciate them.so many peope made the mistakke with me but how were they to know. one of h2bs friends whose wedding we were at a couple of wees previously asked me was i having cravings, i just laughed it off and said ah no. h2b told him then and he felt so bad as the time before he did it as well. But i think we understand that people dont know unless someone tells them. and if they ont we will have totell them
jen2 Posts: 3106
If it was me, i would not send the card. She will not take offence by what you said. If you were very close to her, then I would think it ok to send a card, but she think it strange if you dont know her that well. Thats just my opinion. I can just imagine how you felt........ :xxx Try not to think about it too much. Jen2
Chicken Licken Posts: 873
Thanks girls for your replies. I have decided to ask her best friend tomorrow if she would think it ok to send a card to her. She's a mum at the school too and I spoke to her this afternoon about what happened and she was really nice. Cringed for me as she was standing there too but said it was bound to happen to someone.