Oh is obviously upset by it too. Another problem is that we're not gonna meet the minimum numbers for the reception venue even though we invited 50 over and above that number. I never imagined that we'd have this problem, I was always worried about whether we had asked too many people and if we could afford it. As far as I know there is a charge of £500 I you don't meet the required minimum.
I know I'd prefer to give 20 people a meal rather than hand them over the money for nothing!
Just needed a rant! I'm so frustrated at the minute with the whole situation..
I'm living over in England and getting married at home and oh is from uk. Everyone except his aunt and uncle declined the invitation because it was too expensive and he also has other friends that live in America that can't make it either. Unfortunately it's left us with a 50% decline rate that I just can't help feel upset about.
How many have you going now?
On the bright side, smaller weddings are much more intimate. Have a chat with your hotel and ask them if they can reduce the size of the room or something like that (some hotels have panels that will reduce a large room to a smaller size) and this could make the room look like its packed!
Aw Coli thats really a worry that you didnt need
Aww, that's horrible for you! But I have to say, I couldn't imagine anything nicer than a small wedding (hence why we're having one!) They're so intimate and cosy, you're not running around like a blue-arse fly meeting and greeting third cousins twice removed, and you get to spend time with the people that really matter!!!!
we're in a kinda similar boat.. We invited 220 thinking we would have 170-180 sitting ( would have been delighted if 220 could come but were realistic) and it looks like we will have about 130.. We have to pay for 150. I jokingly said to hotel that if I'm paying for 150 dinners I want 150!!! I told them I'd send them to the homeless shelter!! And that it was my prerogative.. Anyway less of my ranting... Try to focus on the people that will be there.. Ye will still have a great time and you might be surprised with what a hotel can do, even things like room layout and lighting can have an impact.. Finances are tight all around at the moment but the important thing is that it only takes you, oh, and yet witnesses to make a wedding
Big hug for you though cause I'm feeling similar..
Hi Coli, ur not alone
Just a thought but if you do end up having to pay for meals for people who can't go, how about trying to negotiate with your venue to reallocate that spend? As long as the venue's margin on the cost is the same as if the people had been there, they should be willing to do this. So for example....if you are paying for 20 people's meals that are not attending, ask if that cost can be reallocated into canapes on arrival or a second main course or an extra course or an upgrade in evening food. I dont know what the margin on the origional meals would be but as long as they still get that on the reallocated items, they should be kind enough to do this. Thats what I would do in this situations.
I know I need to focus on the people that are actually coming and know that the people that made the effort to come are the ones that really want to be there and support us. being optimistic our numbers are going to be around 80 for the main reception. There is only one function room in the hotel so no possibility of a smaller room. I'm hoping that the hotel will be reasonable and not demand the extra charge!
Anyway feeling excited this morning!!!
This day 4 weeks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Glad your feeling better about it today. The main thing is to enjoy the day and as the previous wollies have said try reallocating the spend,, extra course etc.... I just sent out my invites this morning and Oh and i have discussed the decline rate and what to expect... I know we will be surprised by the people who will not come which in some sense will be upsetting but i know we will also be surprised by the people who will come.. There is nothing like a wedding to find out who really cares...
Best of luck in the next 4 weeks and on your BIG Day no matter how many guests you have,
Ah Coli, my heart goes out to you but don't be disheartened too much. We had 83 people at our wedding and even if i do say so myself it was one of the best weddings i have been to. We were really able to treat our guests well and spend time with them. We also didn't have to stand with hundreds of people for millions of photos either, which believe it or not is exhausting.
While we only invited about 95 as we were aiming for a smallish wedding I can understand your upset and frustration at the 50% drop out. Try talking to your hotel, many of them are seeing large % decline rates in the number of guests at weddings these days and maybe able to do something for you.
Chin up and don't be worrying about your numbers. Have a great day.
Coli, I'll probably be in the same situation this time next year. OH is english and his family barely make it out of the town they're from, let alone to a different county so I'm expecting a lot of his family to not come over.
I agree with the previous posters- talk to your wedding co-ordinator and explain the situation, surely they want positive feedback from you afterwards- see can they reallocate the money elsewhere. My hotel originally wanted minimum 100 but I panicked because of the english situation, they went to to minimum 60 which will be fine!
Try not to worry too much about it, I'd be surprised if the hotel didn't help you out. Let us know how your chat goes with them and 1 month to go.....so exciting!!!
That is a pity, but enjoy your day and the people who are with you, it will be intimate.