Hope that I don’t ruffle any feathers here but after reading another post I got to thinking...(Cabbagehead- this is not a pop at your previous comment. Just a general observation)
It seems to me that it is not ok to talk about the price of your engagement ring if it cost an amount that most people would consider "expensive".
If for example, your ring is worth 20,000/euro it is almost considered vulgar to mention it whereas if it cost 500/euro it seems perfectly fine. And the comments of "well it suits me" and "I love it" are abound whereas, if it was more expensive you hear stuff like "oh how can you afford that" and "just because it's more expensive doesn't mean he loves you more" .....and of course everyone knows some fella who bought his girl a 10,000 ring while all the time he was doing the dirt behind her back.
There seems to be a kind of "bargain snobbery" nowadays I've found. For sheer handiness I buy all my veg and meat in Marks and Spencer and use Lidl for cleaning, tinned stuff etc. When I told a mate she was all "But the stuff in Lidl is half the price, what a waste, its well for you having the money to spend". WTF?? I can buy my food wherever I like and call me crazy but I'd rather have a five minute walk to M&S during lunch than a 20 minute drive to Lidl with all the hassle and queues.
People seem to delight in telling you how much of a bargain something was and turn their nose up when they hear how much more you spent. I like a bargain but if I like something and I have the money I'll buy it and don't want to hear how I could have gotten the same thing in Pennys for €1, I know what price Pennys stuff is FFS!!
Cloumbo i agree 100% it really is up to each couple how much they spend on an e-ring .Whats affordable to you may not be affordable to others !! I dont think ive ever told anyone how much my ring cost and tbh i dont think i ever will its nobodys business but ours ............and i dont feel one bit embarrassed after all its a life time investment
I've never been asked how much my E-ring or wedding band cost by anyone, ever. I think it's tacky to talk about it either way. You shouldn't feel embarrassed or ashamed for spending 'too little' or 'too much'. It's a personal thing and if you want to spend a fortune on a ring then go for it, and if you want to stick to a budget that's fine too. Different horses for different courses I suppose.
I have to admit I would bat more than an eyelid if someone chose to tell me their ring cost €10,000 but as far as I knew they hadn't got that money to spare. I do think it's abit mad to go into debt for a ring tbh.
I hear you Colombo. For me, it was all about getting a ring that I loved for a price that we could afford. What we can afford might seem loads or a little depending on other people which is why i NEVER EVER EVERY discuss with anyone how much it cost. Nor do I discuss what size it is. I really do not understand the mindset where someone is engaged and sizes up everyone elses stones. If you are happy with your own, what does it matter?
I know that not everyone who asks about the size is trying to figure out how much it cost, some people are just curious, but I can think of one friend in particular who always asks what size the stone is and I know full well that she is trying to work out the price paid so she can compare it with her own.
I always said that I was willing to go halves with DH on it if it meant I could get one that I loved seeing as I'd be wearing it till the day I die. DH refused but I'd have gone halves in a heartbeat. And one of the nicest rings I've ever seen was on a friend's now wife - they were both students at the time and she got one with a stone about the size of a pin head. It looked incredibly beautiful on her hands.
The cost of my ring is between me and H2B.
the only other peoeple who know are the shop and the home insurance company.
if someone feels they have to shout about the price they paid well thats there problem , they are obviously very materialist .
anoterh gfirl in work got engaged around the same time as me, and the amopunt of times she brings up how much she paid and its killing her that I wont get into teh conversation and tell her how much i paid,
very True girls!!
Mrs Dodders- I agree on your last point but then I dont agree going into debt for anything unless it is completly essential. DH and I are very much don't spend it if you dont have it but on the other hand, we work hard, have no kids and save hard so do not mind treating oursleves!!
I agree Columbo. And I think the reason people don't like hearing that someone spent far more than they did on something is jealousy, pure and simple. The easy excuse is to say it's "vulgar" etc. but show me someone who would turn their nose up at a €20k engagement ring because it's "vulgar" if they or their partner could well afford it (now having said that H2B and I were looking in the window at a jewellers in Limerick last weekend at ringthat was the same as mine but cost €47k and I honestly think I'd be too afraid to wear something that cost that much - I'd accept it gladly, wear it in front of the mirror and lock it in a safe before replacing it on my finger with my cheaper replica
TBH, I think its vulgar to discuss the cost of your engagement, full stop. I have never been asked and I never would dream of throwing it into the conversation. The only reason I know the cost of my ring is my DH listed it in our house insurance. I wasnt particullarly interested though.
I witnessed an arguement between a newly engaged couple of how much he should spend on a ring (she thought 3 months income, he though 2 months income). I just thought that they had missed the point entirely!
Just to add, if you have a 20K ring (not that I do) then it really should speak for itself
but I just wanted to respond anyway.
IMMEDIATELY after I poted that, I though "f**k now everyone on WOL who has an "expensive" E-ring will hate me". Especially now that a few people have responded and said they have rings of a higher value.
I don't judge anyone on what they have or spend - it's none of my business. I think it's just that I look at the world through the frame of my and my OH's earnings, and we just simply couldn't afford that. But that's not to say I think it's extravagant or anything. I was just surprised by the price-tag, I genuinely didn't know rings could be worth that much
No one, ever, should EVER be embarrassed about the worth of their E-ring, and I really sincerely apologise if my comment made anyone feel that way.
To pick up on Lux's post - I know exactly what you mean by "bargain snobbery". OH and I bought some appliances for the house recently and then had to listen to smug friends going on about how they had bought the same appliances for half the price in the sales, and that we should have waited. Now, OK, that's fine if you have the time to wait - but if the choice is between no clean clothes or flooding the ground floor... or buying the machine now... well, I know what I'd pick
Columbo I know you weren't having a pop at me and my shocked-by-Tiffany ways