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Princess Cinders Posts: 11475
[quote:2h6blo9o] Miss Hopeful, so you don't disagree that women who go out to work and put their careers ahead of their children are selfish???? One would think if you don't agree, you'd tell them now... I'm only thinking about what works for the baby and it works for the baby everytime.[/quote:2h6blo9o] That is not what I am saying, you are twisting it, what I am saying is that every situation is different . What works for you and other SAHM doesnt necessarily work for everyone
SusanD Posts: 110
Cocoa, nothing against parents who have to work to pay mortgage, again I say, where there is a choice in the matter, one or other parent should be in the home. Where both parents put their career ahead of their child, for example, don't want to go back a rung down or two or lose out on promotion, then I do think it is selfish, so does Mystified and so does Lou-beag.
SusanD Posts: 110
Miss Hopeful, so what is your position - you see other than slag me off, you haven't acually said how you feel about the topic... do you think a child is BETTER off in childcare than with a parent in the home?? Should given the opportunity, one or other parent be with the baby for the first couple of years????
Dcd Posts: 1471
SusanD, in an ideal world ALL mothers could or would WANT to be SAHM's, but it's not an ideal world. And some mothers ARE putting their childrens needs first by going to work, because if they were home with them all day they'd go off their rockers. In those cases the children ARE Better off in childcare. And don't go into the whole 'then they shouldn't have children' shite, because kids aren't like clothes.. you can't return them if they don't suit you!!! But you can do your best to make sure they get the best possible care, even if that's NOT from you! In my opinion, being able to admit that to yourself is a greater sacrifice for any mother to make for her child than simply staying at home because some expert says it's best!!! I'm sure social services have pleanty of cases where the parent wasn't willing to admit they weren't cutting it!!!! Edited because I put in SandraD instead of SusanD(sorry sandra!)
Princess Cinders Posts: 11475
When at whatever time in the future I have children, obviously I will take maternity leave and leave without pay. Depending on what the financial curcumstances at that time will dictate what I do after but more than likely I would work part-time
SusanD Posts: 110
Dcd, then what about the Fathers?????????? I don't think that all mothers should want to be SAHM's but I do think that the baby deserves one or other parent for the first couple of years. I'd say there are also plenty of cases of working mothers run ragged who can't cope either.
SusanD Posts: 110
Tut, tut, Miss Hopeful, avoiding the questions... Do you think a child is better off in childcare than with a parent in home? Are parents who put their career ahead of staying at home to look after their children being selfish?
*Petal* Posts: 11
I new to this board, I had come on to actually look for some wedding advice, but ended up reading this drivel, to be honest susanD, having read through a lot of your posts and contrary to what your say, you seem to me like a very angry and dissatisfied person, your opinion that you are [i:2ob67tcs][b:2ob67tcs]right[/b:2ob67tcs][/i:2ob67tcs] is bordering on obsessiveness, why do you give a shit anyway about how other families choose to bring up their children? I certainly dont give a damn how you choose to bring up yours !
Dcd Posts: 1471
[quote:32gqnrw2] Are parents who put their career ahead of staying at home to look after their children being selfish?[/quote:32gqnrw2] In MY opinion.. got that now?? MY opinion which I'm actually allowed to have believe it or not!!!! NO they're NOT being selfish, they are doing what THEY believe to be the best for their family!!!
laveva Posts: 366
gosh what a difficult topic. susand you've got a very strong character and your ideas are very clear on this matter which is fantastic, but i can understand how your comments could make some mothers feel because of the way you came across. and because of that i get the feeling that people just want to argue with you because your tone got their backs up. you have very valid points, which, having read all the replies, i don't really think have been taken on board. everyone's arguing their own case without really considering what you're saying which is that studies and research have shown that children under the age of 1 are better at home with one or other parent, all situations being equal and circumstances permitting. after the age of 1 or 2 they benefit greatly from playschool and mixing with other adults and children. if i'm not mistaken that's what you're saying. i think we all probably agree with that. are mothers, who out of their own free will decide to go back to work and as a result leave their 5 month old babies to the care of childminders in a creche, selfish? i'm not in a position to judge that, i'm sure every mother does what they feel is best all round for their family.