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SusanD Posts: 110
Dcd, what's best for themselves maybe!!!! They tell themselves its for the kids but i bet they'd make a different choice if they discovered the damage they were doing to their babies. Petal, sorry did you say something? your insights are delightful, but it doesn't contribute to the debate. Where do you stand? Do you think a baby is BETTER off in a creche than in the home for the first couple of years?
Dcd Posts: 1471
[quote:2vvsgxmq]Dcd, what's best for themselves maybe!!!! They tell themselves its for the kids but i bet they'd make a different choice if they discovered the damage they were doing to their babies.[/quote:2vvsgxmq] I believe that's YOUR opinion which you have shared thanks! But you still can't elect yourself to be the conscience of every working mother in the world SusanD, they have a right to their opinion too!
SusanD Posts: 110
Laveva, thanks for your comments. You have said exactly what I have been saying all along. I feel that like the girl in the link, parents are being coralled into going back to work, it is becoming more 'acceptable' for young babies to be put into creches for long hours and some women aren't even asking themselves why? or if there is a better way? All the people want to do is insult and argue with me and not address the points.
SusanD Posts: 110
And what about the babies Dcd? Are they entitled to a voice?? Do you know who is paying attention to how the babies who can't talk are feeling??? The guys who are taking measurements of stress hormones in their bodies. These stress hormone levels speak volumes about how babies are feeling in a situation. This is what the research is showing. The stress hormones in babies in creches are consistently hiigh all day, whereas in the home, they 'normalise'. The babies show signs of being stressed and upset long before they can articulate these feelings with words. By the time they can articulate these feelings they know no different but long hours in creches. Then later on come the other problems. But then its easier not to read the reports, and just listen to the people you are PAYING tell you that your baby is doing fine.
Dcd Posts: 1471
SusanD.. I'm only gonna say this once, and then I shall comment no more on the subject because you are preaching to the converted here, but neither you, nor I, nor anyone else has ANY right to try to make working mother(for whatever reason!!!!) feel guilty about their situation. There are enough assholes out there willing to put women down for either staying at home or working.. we shouldn't be doing it to eachother!!!! (can we say assholes here?? :lol: )
SusanD Posts: 110
Ok Dcd, but just to clarify, I'm not trying to make WOMEN feel bad, Men will do just as well!!!!! :D as I said, it is a parent issue, not a women's issue and I never said that the woman should be the one to stay at home... men can be trained!!!!!
december Posts: 1141
Susand - why the hell do you care whether or not people on this forum agree 100% with you? You must be an extremely insecure person if you need to show to everybody what a [i:92ji6opt]wonderful[/i:92ji6opt] mother you are.
halo Posts: 1406
[quote:1f5g7liu]ust to clarify, I'm not trying to make WOMEN feel bad, Men will do just as well!!![/quote:1f5g7liu] You've finally admitted your agenda, SusanD, you're[b:1f5g7liu] trying [/b:1f5g7liu]to make others feel bad. I guess that just about wraps it up on your outlook on life, try to make others feel bad when they're doing the best they can in their own individual circumstances. You've accused Miss Hopeful of ignoring your questions, which actually seems to be [u:1f5g7liu]your[/u:1f5g7liu] only major talent. you've also attempted to be nasty about her handle, which is another delightful quality in a role-model for a young girl. You ramble on about taking a step down the career ladder for the sake of your kids, all well and good when you work for yourself giving little classes on exercise, quite another story when you've had to work hard for your qualifications and to take a 4 year career break would essentially mean going back to the level of a school-leaver and starting all over again with another 4-6 years of study to catch up on how much your chosen profession may have advanced (eg if you work in IT everything you know will be redundant due to advances in the space of 4 years), and trying to get a job afterwards at a fraction of the wage of what you were previously on 8 years ago when you decided to take time off to be a SAHM/D. I agree with you to the extent that I'd love to be safe in the knowledge that whenever we do decide to take the plunge and have a baby, I or my DH could take a couple of years off to spend time with them, but in the current climate most families need both wages merely to meet the costs of keeping up mortgage repayments etc, so for that reason we are putting off having children til we can be in a more financially secure position. There is no way on earth we could take the hit of one wage coming in at the moment, and we are not extravagant livers, the only holiday I or my DH have been on in the past 5 years was our honeymoon, we have one small car between us, and we rarely spend money on nights out/keeping up with the joneses etc. What if some couple NEVER find themselves able to take the hit of one wage, are they denied the chance of becoming a family just because you say they should be? that's an awful thing for a mother to wish on any other human being. You really do yourself no favours at all by trying to put all other mothers down for the route they find themselves having to take in life due to financial commitments. If you are such a bitter individual, trying to make others feel bad is not going to make you feel better about yourself, perhaps a trip to a shrink to sort out your mental problems would be a better course of action.
Dcd Posts: 1471
Well said Happyout!
laveva Posts: 366
but how you can say SusanD has been nasty when that's all many of you have been in your replies? can you not see that honestly? how can you criticise her for giving her opinion on the WM/SAHM situation when many of you have called her lazy, uninteresting and a bad mother that does nothing all day? you've even gone so far as to say her husband probably tries to avoid her, is off flirting with the girls in the office and slagged her off because of her currently low financial situation. ok, so the kennel comment was very unfortunate, but apart from that i think all the other ideas she has put forth have been sound and reasonable. (young babies are better off with their mothers wherever the circumstances allow and then when they're a bit older it's good for them to mix with other kids.) some of the posters have been too busy defending themselves to the very end to even consider the real message that i think she is trying to send out. there's no harm in being open to different ideas - or is there?