For those pregnant on 2nd/3rd baby - How do u feel?

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fraggle rocker Posts: 1426
This baby came as a surprise but I am happy about it. I had a mc on my first so ds was extra special. I talked to my bump every day telling him to hang on in there that we wanted him so much. I am feeling guilty on this baby as some days I completely forget I am pregnant and dont have the same feelings toward the baby as I had on my first. I tried to tell my dh this but he said it was because I am so busy with ds. Its not that I resent the baby but I felt I was getting me back after finishing bf. I was so excited on ds and kept hoping he would come early to meet him on this baby I am like it can come on their due date. Maybe I am just so scared if I will cope or not with 2 under 2. I feel so bad saying all this but does anyone else feel the same?
Hopefully07 Posts: 2027
Oh God I could have wrote that post this time last year...... And I am happy to say one year on I couldn't be happier with my little surprise....My DS1 was only two months old when I found out I was pregnant again and I had myself in knots.....but I swear my DS2 is the light of my life everyday I think THANK GOD I had him he's nearly 7 months now and every single day that I have had him he makes me smile and laugh I have such a close bond with him and I was like you at the start COULD wait for the day he was born was wishing that the day WOULDN'T arrive....but I swear that feeling goes as SOON as bab is put on your chest....... It's okay to have the feelings your having and it's perfectly normal...
Jolee Posts: 567
It is totally normal! DS1 was a massive shock (i was 19) but when it sunk in I was so excited to meet him. DS2 was planned and DS1 was 5, i was consumed with the pregnancy from the day I found out. This pregnancy, although planned is different. I just think because we all have very young kids at home already (ds2 is 16months) that we just dont have the mental head space to get completley wrapped up in the pregnancy! I also keep 'forgetting' I am pregnant now and again! :-8 only lasts a few minutes though but I never 'forgot' after I found out on the other two. My friend got engaged last weekend and I rang to tell my mam and asked her would she babysit the '2 boys' for me.. then she said 'dont you mean your 3 children!' I felt lousy. I am really looking forward to meeting this little bean though! I already love it with all my heart (even if i am getting forgetful! ha ha) :lvs
Skippy Posts: 1834
I'm the total opposite! I wasn't that excited when I was pregnant with my little girl. I wanted time to go slowly, I was very anxious about dealing with a newborn and labour. I didn't feel any connection to the bump at all. The mornings sickness knocked me right off my feel and I was out of action for nearly 16 weeks. But this time around i'm so excited about it all. Had my 12 week scan yesterday and was on such a high afterwards. Felt all warm and cozy. I;m constantly touching my belly and thinking happy thoughts! And of course i'm feeling bad that I did not have these maternal instincts with my daughter. I think what has happened is that my experience with my daughter has been such a fantastic one that i'm super excited about having the same kind of relationship with this 2nd one. Plus i'm not as nervous about a newborn this time round or the labour (or section, whatever happens happens).
wedjul05 Posts: 5673
Totally normal FR!! It was a complete and utter shock to find out I was expecting again. I always forget I'm pg and feel we are neglecting this little one inside me. It's just that we are too busy to pay the bump the same attention as we did on our 1st. Time is money as they say. I am really excited now and the fact that we know we are having a little giril, makes it even more special. We are always saying we are dying to see who she looks like, what colour hair she has. Don't feel guilty, life just takes over and we have no choice but to get on with it. You can rub you tum when you have time and bond with the baby in your own way.
jmeath Posts: 5740
Im not in the same boat...we're just expecting no.1 but my god it wa a shock...i wanted a baby so much and was uset when we decided to wait and then i was sick and fell pregnatn...when i foudn out everything went through me head,what about our wedding, what about work, what about money, bills, etc..... i dont think you are every "ready" to find out your going to have a baby....even planend...although planned makes it easier to come to terms with! I was ok after it was out in the open and i told my mam that night and the family the next day....i couldnt hide it from them but such a weight was lifted. Now i cant wait for babs adn already im saying "i think ill get the coil in after" becasue we couldnt afford 2 babys too close together so we will have to wait a couple of years....DH said he would like to try when this babs is 2....but even looking forward now im like "how can we afford childminding for 2, we're already struggling to think about me working and childminding now" but i know whatever happens is for a reason and we will get through it together, times will be tough but also brilliant so it will all be worth it. My mam practically raised me on her own and here i am at 23 married with a house, car and 1st baby on the way....she was 17 when she found out she was pregnant and now ive a 4yr old brother and 1 yr old sister.... :-)
MummyLuv Posts: 2478
[quote="fraggle rocker":sy73yztx]This baby came as a surprise but I am happy about it. I had a mc on my first so ds was extra special. I talked to my bump every day telling him to hang on in there that we wanted him so much. I am feeling guilty on this baby as some days I completely forget I am pregnant and dont have the same feelings toward the baby as I had on my first. I tried to tell my dh this but he said it was because I am so busy with ds. Its not that I resent the baby but I felt I was getting me back after finishing bf. I was so excited on ds and kept hoping he would come early to meet him on this baby I am like it can come on their due date. Maybe I am just so scared if I will cope or not with 2 under 2. I feel so bad saying all this but does anyone else feel the same?[/quote:sy73yztx] Hun I am in exactly the same boat as you bubby 2 is a surprise and there will be 21 months between the two of them. Am def not the same on this pg as I was with no1 but think a good bit of it has to do with lack of time, with working full time and then being with DD all the time after work it means I don't have time to think about it. I also had only got my body back and was trying to get promoted in work but all that has gone by the wayside!!! I was in bits last week but have realised that this bubby has been given to me for a reason and really I am very lucky, I don't feel the same this time but I don;'t really expect to as kinda know whats coming this time so am much more relaxed etc!!! Don't fret love it will all be fine !!! As my friend told me you love them as much as each other but that love is very different for each child !!!
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