Funnies

We've Moved!

Our wonderful discussion forums have now moved to Facebook...

Click to join us in our HIGM ("Help I'm Getting Married") group!

WonderWol Posts: 2927
NICKNAMES > * If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah. > * If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes. > > EATING OUT > * When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in £20, even though it's only for £32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back. > * When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators. MONEY > * A man will pay £2 for a £1 item he needs. > * A woman will pay £1 for a £2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale > > BATHROOMS > * A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from M&S. > * The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items. > > ARGUMENTS > * A woman has the last word in any argument. > * Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. > > CATS > * Women love cats. > * Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats. > FUTURE > * A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. > * A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. > > SUCCESS > * A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. > * A successful woman is one who can find such a man. > > MARRIAGE > * A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. > * A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does. > > DRESSING UP > * A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the bins, answer the phone, read a book, and get the post. > * A man will dress up for weddings and funerals. > > NATURAL > * Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. > * Women somehow deteriorate during the night. > > OFFSPRING > * Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams. > * A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house. > > THOUGHT FOR THE DAY > * Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing. > * What a woman says: C'mon...This place is a mess. You and I need to clean.Your trousers are on the floor and you'll have no clothes if we don't do the laundry now. > * What a man hears: C'MON ... blah, blah, blah YOU AND I blah,blah, blah, blah, blah ON THE FLOOR blah, blah, blah, NO CLOTHES blah, blah, blah, blah, NOW
mad woman Posts: 22106
:o0 :o0 :o0 I Lurrvve that bart simpson avatar..
WonderWol Posts: 2927
Yeah it's just SO me innit :o0 :o0 :o0 :o0
mrs waterfordbride Posts: 3063
i dont find them funny sorry
ginger nut Posts: 5989
[quote="WonderWol":1iezb6ga]>> > ARGUMENTS > * A woman has the last word in any argument. > * Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. > >[/quote:1iezb6ga] :o0 :o0 :o0 :o0 :o0
Ca cest moi Posts: 7855
Very Funny. :o0 :o0 :o0 :o0 :o0 :o0
pupsalove Posts: 1490
Love 'em, may even use them in next week's employee newsletter!!
WonderWol Posts: 2927
Love the new name Bugsy - was my favourite film when I was a kid :wv
pupsalove Posts: 1490
Why thank you WonderWol and ditto for your new name too!
sinion Posts: 6050
i love this one :o0 [quote:so6mjqix]OFFSPRING * Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams. * A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house [/quote:so6mjqix]
1