GAA Widows

My husband plays gaa not near where we live but for his home club which is near where he works. He trains 2 evenings a week and has matches usually once a week more often than not at the weekend which can be in any far flung end of the county he is from or else in his club about 45 minutes away. What drives me bananas is the fact that on the nights he goes training he is gone from 8:30 in the morning to 10:30 ish at night. So instead of being able to drop in and have his tea with us or help out with the kids for an hour he is off for the day. I don't care about the training or the activity what I care about is the distance he has to travel and the fact he is away for so long on the days he trains and then he is gone for a morning or afternoon at the weekend for matches. I really want him to change clubs and I have been on at him since we had dd but to no avail. Am I being unfair?

Some men are attached to their GAA clubs like they are to their families...if he's been playing there since he was a young lad, I doubt he'll want to move...Its reasonable of you to ask if he'd he'd switch, I can totally understand how all the travelling to training & matches means he's not around so much for you & DD...but coming from a GAA family thats anchored to their club, i can see how it could be hard for him to change clubs without feeling really really bad about it

Oh curlysu, so can I, don't get me wrong I'm sympathic at least I was on dd1 but now we have 2 dds twice the work :-) I'm less so. I remember he couldn't make training when I was due on dd2 and one of his teammates laughed 'well my wife is pregnant with twins and I'm here', well that was because two inside is far less hassle than one we already had outside and he hasn't been seen for dust since said twin babas were born. I just find that if I were to take his attitude and take up something the other 2 nights and the other day at the weekend where would we fit in family time. I do an activity one night but it demands 2 hours away from home not the whole evening.

i hear you, moetforme! my pet hate is the fixtures set for slap bang in the middle of Saturday afternoons! TBH though i'm glad that he has a healthy interest in sport and i'd rather that he is at training than a DH spending the time out in a pub somewhere. i wouldn't push him about changing clubs - not going to happen. your DH does seem to have his head screwed on though in terms of priorities e.g. like knowing that you being due and being available is far more important than missing a training session!. are there any guys in the club who live near you? in DH's club the guys who have to travel meet up in a closer spot to where they live for a training session themselves during the week instead of travelling down. would that be an option?

Oh I'm the one that voted no, don't think your being unfair! I totally understand where your coming from, my H2B travels to Kerry every weekend for matches (we live near Kinsale in Cork). It has caused plenty of fights!!! He did start training with the local club in Cork though cos travelling that distance 3 times in a week would have put our relationship under serious pressure! Is there any way your hubby could train locally and then play his matches with his own club?

Shellbell I have suggested that he play for both training down here instead, totally gaa illegal but given it is about junior z I think the gaa won't have their spies out on him and I know he would have far far less matches where we live now than where he is from so it wouldn't be a huge addition on playing time. [quote:26jrdwi2]your DH does seem to have his head screwed on though in terms of priorities e.g. like knowing that you being due and being available is far more important than missing a training session!.[/quote:26jrdwi2] He wasn't missing training because I was due, God no, he just said that can't remember what he was up to it just seemed like a reasonably good excuse at the time for him

surely he can come to a compromise about the one or two training sessions during the week?

[quote:9kc91ksp]surely he can come to a compromise about the one or two training sessions during the week[/quote:9kc91ksp]? You'd think so frangipani, great name by the way, but my husband, whom I love dearly and is a lovely, giving and generous man but is a pain when this subject comes up. He compromises and says he will put in for a transfer next year (for the last 4 years) cut back on training and then goes ahead and does what he planned to do anyway train and play matches as they come up . It drives me mad and I am thinking of taking serious GAA appropriate action. I am seriously thinking of easing of on the bedroom department until he sorts this out one way or the other, it is bound to help his match performances and at least it will come to a head one way or another. The obvious downside which this presents to me I think I will take as collateral damage.

the "collateral damage" is a brilliant way of putting it! Hope ye can come to some agreement! I know how stressed I get when H2B misses friends weddings/stuff I've planned etc. to go home for matches so can only imagine how annoyed you must get when you add kids to that equation! I know H2B won't give up the GAA and I wouldn't want him to cos he loves it but him training closer to home has really helpes so hope your hubby can sort something similar! Good luck with your plan - let us know how it goes xx

[quote:62t3pqd2]I know H2B won't give up the GAA and I wouldn't want him to cos he loves it[/quote:62t3pqd2] I feel the exact same but this really gets to me he has been doing a course all year (for all our familys benefit I know) but it was friday evenings and sat mornings and between that and his GAA it has been totally hectic. Thank God the course is over now but the doggedness over the GAA was beyond what I could take and I have now reached boiling point on it. I don't want him to give up but he has to start compromising somewhere.