Gift Lists

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mrswifey2012 Posts: 2042
What do you think of Wedding gift lists ladies? I am getting married in June and have just kitted out our first home. Lots of people are asking are we having a gift list. Initially when we got engaged, I said I'd never have a gift list as I thought it was so rude. Now I may be changing my mind, due to the amount of people asking what we'd like. I'm not high maintenance in the slightest and would honestly just love everyone to attend on the day and enjoy themselves. Did/Will you have a gift list? If you didn't have one, why? And did you get nice gifts in the end?
petri Posts: 574
I didnt have one as dont really like them :O In saying that we just moved house aswell and we got money off most people that was handy as meant u can buy what u want :O Some people did ask did we have a gift list and when we said no they asked us where would we like a voucher for instead and some people dont like giving cash but that was the minority we found!
the bees knees Posts: 755
This topic has come up in our household lately... My Mum and sister think having a gift list is a brilliant idea.... Now I agree in part, but we are living together with 11 years and in our own house with nearly 5 years so basically we have everything we need ( although there is a few things that I could think of that i would like to put on a list ). Now the thing that i would be afraid of is you set up a gift list in say Debenhams or Brown Thomas etc and lets say you have 20 suggested gifts, i would be afraid that when people have purchased these gifts that other guest would just get a voucher for the shop so you would end up with loads of vouchers for the shop..... As i said before we have everything we need already in our home and while i would be extremely grateful for peoples generosity I don't know how useful loads of vouchers would be to us,if you know what I mean... i suppose its a personal thing really especially if you are starting out in a new home but if it is fully furnished like you said for me I wouldnt go with one.....
ghostchild2 Posts: 6237
I only ever once heard of someone having a gift list, it was a family member and the rest of the family thought it was quite rude.
mrswifey2012 Posts: 2042
Thanks for your opinions ladies. I think when push comes to shove, we won't be bothering with it. I've had a few people say to me 'oh as long as people cover the cost of their meal'....that attitude stinks if you ask me. I am personally honoured to be asked to a wedding and will always give what I can, but I would hate to think that people expect X amount from you etc. I know a cousin of OH got married in Spain. A lot of friends and family had just lost jobs, had very little money etc. At first, she said, I don't want any presents, I just want everyone to be there. Then one day in the post a Save the Date card arrives for this particular wedding, and lo and behold on it is a website address to their gift list?!?! Unfortunately due to the volcanic ash cloud, we didn't make it to that wedding!!
DillieDallie Posts: 423
Hey there I posted on this a while back also, personally I'm not a fan of them and I actually get a little bit sick in my mouth whenever I see one land in with an invitation, I think that's so rude! However in the end we did bow to pressure from the aunties and older generation we were invited to our wedding, they simply didn't want to give cash and would prefer to give a present. So we set one up in Arnotts and the line for the mums and bridal party was "I think they would like cash as they have their house finished, but if you would prefer to give a gift there is a small list in Arnotts". The gift list was mentioned only when it was asked about. Have to say was in Arnotts during the week and the entire "Home" section has been revamped and is amazing, if anybody is thinking of where to put their list I would definitely recommend them! HTH! :thnk
cabbagehead Posts: 3899
This topic really annoys me :-8 Ever since we got engaged, people have been asking what we want as a gift. Seeing as we're getting a huge amount of our guests to travel for the wedding, I feel really uncomfortable asking for gifts on top of that. So I sort of waffle in an embarrassed way and feel like a knob. EVERYONE has asked if we have a wedding list, literally everyone who has spoken to us about coming to the wedding. And the more I think about it, the more I think it is a good idea to have one. People would like to give us a gift, I should be greatful and help them if they ask! Can someone explain to me what is rude about that? I have often seen comments on WOL about "ooooh if there was a wedding list I'd just give them a fiver in their card, cheeky f**kers with their list!" I see a list as the answer to a question, as opposed to a greedy rude list of demands. Am I alone in this?
Anne Cordelia Shirley Posts: 4731
Two of my friends had lists, both of them had a lot of UK relatives and it seems its the done thing to have lists so they both had one. I bought from one for one girl as she was the first to marry in our group and I hadn't a notion what to get/what money to give, so it made life easy. They had the information on the lists in their information sheets and I didn't think it was rude or demanding, I just decided to go with one list and not with the other. I didn't hear anyone in our circle think it was rude at all, more practical. However, I still think the demands for money or cash gift poems are a step too far, you're getting married so pay for it yourselves, don't ask your guests to pay for the day!
CarolinaMoon Posts: 2431
I see nothing wrong with a gift list to be honest but I wouldn't post one out with the invites either. If people want to give a gift (and some do) then I see know harm in letting them know that there is a list.
BusyMom Posts: 717
[quote="DillieDallie":1xw5dapi]I actually get a little bit sick in my mouth whenever I see one land in with an invitation, I think that's so rude! However in the end we did bow to pressure from the aunties and older generation we were invited to our wedding, they simply didn't want to give cash and would prefer to give a present.[/quote:1xw5dapi] +1 on this - we hate (still do!) when it's included in the invitation. But as our wedding approached, our parents (especially mine for some reason!) were getting SO many questions about what we'd like, saying that they didn't like just giving cash, that we knew that it was a case of set up a list or we'd be inundated with random presents after the wedding. We also did a list up with my Mom for specific gifts that weren't available from the list (we used and my Mom assigned those to suitable people who asked - for example, we wanted a blue ray player and a techie uncle of mine asked for a suggestion, so mom gave him that one. I wouldn't dream of including it in our invites but it definitely worked out well for us and nobody even knew about it unless they asked my Mom "do they have a list?" so obviously they're the type of people who wouldn't be offended by hearing that we did. My mom was also quick to point out that we only set up a list because so many people were asking.