Give me a break, quit the pressure!

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Time For A Change Posts: 6885
Hubby and I went a friends house on Saturday for a "c*cktail party", I would've much preferred to have stayed at home! I'm not a big drinker, hubby knows that, so why do people think it's okay to hound you to drink when you don't want to - and they know it too I wasn't feeling 100% on Saturday and it also rush, rush, rush to get to the friends house. We stayed in a hotel and hubby wanted to head down early. To save us having to leave the car at the friends house, or having to take two taxis, hubbys friend very kindly said he'd collect us and bring us to the house, so we'd only need to get a taxi back afterwards. Hubby said the friend was going to light the bbq to get it started, and then come and collect us. We only had a roll for lunch so we/I was starving by the time we were collected. Got to the house a bit before 6 - the bbq wasn't cranked into action until after 8.30! The c*cktails were flowing from as soon as we arrived, and hubby knows I will not and cannot drink (especially homemade c*cktails) without having eaten something. This is due to my epilepsy and the fact that I barely drink anyway, so I'm a complete lightweight. My stomach was feeling ropey for some reason, and the other six people were constantly at me to "hurry up and finish your cocktail, we're on our fourth already and you're not even the first one!" I found the drinks were way too strong and sweet for me and I ended up only drinking 1.5 c*cktails and three bottles of beer for the whole night - and hubby even called me a "dry-sh*te" The other bit that killed me was the smoking. The friend has a very cool bar/oversized shed out the back of his house and that's where we were for the whole night. That's grand, but not when there's seven of you and only two of you are non-smokers sitting together in the place, and you end up feeling even worse and smelling like an ashtray when you get back to the hotel! Yes you are perfectly entitled to smoke, but it's so hard to sit in with people who are chain-smoking and the smoke blowing into your face. If other non-smokers were there, at least I would've been able to stand outside for a bit, to get away from the smoke. The guy who had the party is totally off his head and for some reason thinks it's hilarious to have the music are an ear-splitting level.......especially when it's songs by ACDC!!!! A couple of people asked him to turn it down a bit, he did, but then turned it back up after a while. I can't handle really loud noises and I found it near to impossible to actually talk to people when the music was so loud - we may as well have been in a nightclub, it was that loud. I said to hubby that the neighbours must be driven demented with the noise - the guy had the bar/oversize shed soundproofed! So for all over yesterday, I had a ringing in my ear from the "music" (I sound so old) and the my stomach had that sick feeling when food or drinks is too sweet and we were both exhausted because it was after 4 before we got to bed. Why can't people accept that you're not into drink as much as them. I wasn't brought up in a house where drink was a regular thing. Dad is a Pioneer and Mum would have a glass of wine at dinner if all the family were over, or a special occassion. It seems to be the complete opposite on hubbys side, out drinking all and every weekend, not just social drinking - I'm talking getting home p*ssed out of thier tree. We all did that to some level in our twenties, but I just can't do it anymore, it takes me ages to get over a hangover - and they feel so much worse now!! Just accept that I can't drink as much you and please respect my choice to drink or not drink/take it a lot slower than the rest of you!
babydust2012 Posts: 4736
haha sounds like your about 90 years old :ooh I'm just kidding, I know EXACTLY how you feel infairness, it really annoys me when peolpe FORCE drink down your throat that you really couldn't be bothered with. My h2b mother can be like this sometimes and makes me feel like a right old dry ball$ but truth is I can enjoy myself as much having a diet coke!!! Era it just sounds like it wasn't a night you were looking forward to & found it difficult to enjoy as a result but venting o n here def helps so let it all out my friend :heartbeat:
cabbagehead Posts: 3899
Ah Noodle :o( there's nothing worse than a bad night out!! Especially when you've paid for a hotel and everything. And I HATE when there are no nibbles at the start of a night at someone's house, it's terrible when you haven't eaten since lunchtime and the food won't be ready til 9. I get really lightheaded when I haven't eaten, makes it really hard to enjoy an evening - people, put out a few bowls of peanuts or some olives or some Pringles or SOMETHING to take the edge off!! Filling them with drink before feeding them is just ASKING for someone to end up puking in the bushes or something... Now, on to the drink - ditto for me for every word of this: [quote="Noodlehead":33a4bjgh]Why can't people accept that you're not into drink as much as them. I wasn't brought up in a house where drink was a regular thing. Dad is a Pioneer and Mum would have a glass of wine at dinner if all the family were over, or a special occassion. [/quote:33a4bjgh] Never ever when I was growing up was there a drink-drink-drink culture in my house. I really was genuinely shocked when I first started going out and saw just how much drink some people put away. I drink very little myself (by choice, no moral objection or anything) and I have been putting up with people calling me a dry sh!te for years. It drives me SPARE - for God's sake, I'm not calling you an alcoholic after your second c*cktail, why are you allowed to judge me for not drinking?! My mother said something to me once that stuck with me - some people need to validate their own choices by putting down the choices of others. It's their insecurity talking, moreso than their real opinion of you. I fid that helpe me let it float over my head. Go to bed nice and early tonight missus - after a nice big proper dinner :o0
BusyDee Posts: 8527
That sounds like a nightmare! I wouldnt enjoy that either esp the smoking. As for homemade kocktails - I wouldnt touch the stuff, my SIL made me a baileys coffee last xmas in her house - mother of jesus she may as well have put some bleach in it it was vile -she thought she was being generous giving me loads of baileys in it but I just couldnt drink it :-8 Then to make it worse she starts going on to me about how she hates waste! Sorry went on my own little rant there!
cabbagehead Posts: 3899
[quote="DCee":2kl0gbj6] my SIL made me a baileys coffee last xmas in her house - mother of jesus she may as well have put some bleach in it it was vile -she thought she was being generous giving me loads of baileys in it but I just couldnt drink it :-8 [/quote:2kl0gbj6] This reminds me of my Dad - even though he's a lifelong pioneer, he always insists on serving the drinks to visitors in our house. Making a G&T he'd nearly fill the glass with gin before pouring in the mixer!! So Dad will make a drink and then Mom or my sister or myself will have to go and "adjust" it before the poor guest gets alcohol poisoning :o0 :o0 :o0
babydust2012 Posts: 4736
[quote="cabbage_head":2y4ekffp] My mother said something to me once that stuck with me - some people need to validate their own choices by putting down the choices of others. It's their insecurity talking, moreso than their real opinion of you. I fid that helpe me let it float over my head. [/quote:2y4ekffp] I couldn't agree more with this comment..... your mother is a wise woman :thnk
BusyDee Posts: 8527
[quote="cabbage_head":16dsxfj8][quote="DCee":16dsxfj8] my SIL made me a baileys coffee last xmas in her house - mother of jesus she may as well have put some bleach in it it was vile -she thought she was being generous giving me loads of baileys in it but I just couldnt drink it :-8 [/quote:16dsxfj8] This reminds me of my Dad - even though he's a lifelong pioneer, he always insists on serving the drinks to visitors in our house. Making a G&T he'd nearly fill the glass with gin before pouring in the mixer!! So Dad will make a drink and then Mom or my sister or myself will have to go and "adjust" it before the poor guest gets alcohol poisoning :o0 :o0 :o0[/quote:16dsxfj8] :o0 I know my parents used to do this with the whiskey and a dash of red - POISON :o0
cremebrulee Posts: 8546
[quote="fishermans_bride":6hvorls6][quote="cabbage_head":6hvorls6] My mother said something to me once that stuck with me - some people need to validate their own choices by putting down the choices of others. It's their insecurity talking, moreso than their real opinion of you. I fid that helpe me let it float over my head. [/quote:6hvorls6] I couldn't agree more with this comment..... your mother is a wise woman :thnk[/quote:6hvorls6] I totally agree with this! I always find the people that constantly criticize others are extremely insecure themselves. Ah Noodlehead, it wouldn't have killed them to have a few nibbles before the meal started. Sounds like bad planning on their part! Did the people who were on at you to drink more know about your epilepsy... if they did then it's so ignorant of them.... still even if they didn't you shouldn't have to listen to that crap!
Time For A Change Posts: 6885
[quote="*Misty*":2ki1x4zp] Ah Noodlehead, it wouldn't have killed them to have a few nibbles before the meal started. Sounds like bad planning on their part! Did the people who were on at you to drink more know about your epilepsy... if they did then it's so ignorant of them.... still even if they didn't you shouldn't have to listen to that crap![/quote:2ki1x4zp] If I was having people over, I'd always have the standard crisps and dips, but would make sure I also have healthier options like carrots, celery etc for the dips in case some people want to be a bit healthier - and I also make my own scrummy salsa dip-thank you Jamie Oliver. Yes, all his friends do know about the epilepsy, but that doesn't stop the same morons p*ssing me off with the "why aren't you drinking", "will ya ever have a real drink" Oh just P.O you irratating gobsh*tes. At least I'm not getting the "do you have something to tell us" line anymore, they've copped on not to ask that now!
SandyClaws Posts: 3108
i know the feeling about the pressure of drink. we were at h2b nieces communion and if i got one more "ah go on youll have the one" i was gonna scream. i only drink on a proper night out, we had been in the pub the night before and i had drank too much on an empty stomach so i was NOT feeling well at all- all i could drink was water and diet 7up from a can (not a bottle or a glass) why couldnt they understand that no means no. no doesnt mean "yess ill have a glass of plonk" O:| O:|