Ok - need advice on this one a bit complicated !
So we are thinking about the whole god parent thing at the moment and we are in a bit of a bind - I have only one sister (who was my bridesmaid) and really want her to be baby's godmother.
Fine - no problems there - however DH has no brothers or close male family at all therefore we would have to look outside the family for a god father to one of his two friends who to be honest have very little interest in babies whatsoever and I dont think either woudl be a very good or suitable godfather.
I on the other hand have two brothers - one of whom has a baby himself and is very very excited about our baby.
Added to this whole story is that fact that DH really wants to call the baby after his father if its a boy - I dont like the name but his family have put on a lot of pressure for it to be our boys name and I eventually conceeded although I am really not too happy about it but have made decision now so will put up with it.
So in the spirit of the compromise I made on the name - I have asked him to make a similar compromise on the god parents and consider my sisters as god mother and my brother as god father. he is all put out about what he says to his mother to explain this and I am like but what difference does it make to his mother if the god father is my DH's friend or his brother in law - either way it still wont be a direct member of her family !!!
I know he is just anticipated a reaction from his family - that my family are taking over both god parent spots - but if you look at the thing logically I want my baby to have too very interested godparents - and not a crap godfather for the sake of keeping mother in laws happy !!!
Any thoughts?? its a mine field !
As for the God-parent thing,well you ask your sister & If you bro is the suitable godfater then ask him too...i mean would your mil rather you choose an unsuitable person just so its not 'all your side'?And this is exactly the way id put it too them too.
Believe you me iv had nothin but cr*p from dh's family with this kind of stuff..but i got firm & stopped it All..
For me the 1st thing id do is nip in the bud this thing of your dh trying to please his mother..because trust me itl cause arguements between you too.Hes married to you not his mother & he's his Own Man With his own Family on the way.
I think its Hard for you to have to call your first born a name that your not Happy with just to please mil.
Thanks for that - thats totally how I feel !! I have accepted my decision on the name thing and I want to be gracious about it now and not use it to beat DH over the head with every time - but I think its a fair compromise to then allow for both god parents to come from my side - its only going to be a slightly awkward for a little while once his family hear of this but in the long run the baby will have two god parents whom it will have very close relationships with and who will both be mad about it I know because I am very close to my sis and bro.
good to get your feedback though thanks !
Be firm & stick to your Decision & if Mil does say anything to you,you just say to her in the nicest possible way , sure who can i ask from your side,there is no-one & i feel its important to choose responsible people.
She cant argue with that or she'l just look stupid.
We had Dh's Bro for our 1st born & He ever acknowledges Any occasion which is awful...so please god all going well with this babs il ask my bro & sis.
Good luck with it all & dont stress yourself,enjoy your last few weeks of [i:2va96cz0]freedom[/i:2va96cz0]
Totally agree, has to be about your family now, and what best for them, not about your MIL. I know from my own experience with DH's family this can be easier said than done. But best to put yout foot down now.
If though your DH wants a friend for genuine reasons then I'd be willing to consider that.
jeasus does it ever end. we had loads of crap with the wedding.
Sorry but for me this issue is very straightforward - ITS NONE OF HIS MOTHER'S BUSINESS - as cruel as that may sound its Fact - she's had her children and had her chance to make those Big decisions and now its your turn - once you and Dh are happy I wouldn't care less and if she has a problem and has no problem stating that fact then I would have DH inform (in a nice way of course) that its your decision at the end of the day and once your both happy about it that's all that matters.
no i definately dont think you are, well i think just tell mil to feck off!!! if hubby isnt picking anyone for his family anyway well then it wont make a difference,
were kinda in a similar situation i want my sister to be godmother, hubby only has one sister and thinks he'd like to ask her, but we made a deal before i was pregnant that i would get to pick godmother and he would pick godfather, but i have looked into it, you dont need a godmother and godfather you just have to have 2 people they can be both godmothers, so were considering this.....
[quote="Duncelt":2z9itz4l]Sorry but for me this issue is very straightforward - ITS NONE OF HIS MOTHER'S BUSINESS - as cruel as that may sound its Fact - she's had her children and had her chance to make those Big decisions and now its your turn - once you and Dh are happy I wouldn't care less and if she has a problem and has no problem stating that fact then I would have DH inform (in a nice way of course) that its your decision at the end of the day and once your both happy about it that's all that matters.[/quote:2z9itz4l]
I agree with the other wollies - tell your MIL to rack off if she isn't happy with it!! Your DH needs to stop trying to please her and focus on pleasing you and soon your bambino!
so what if they are both from yourside - they both will CARE and thats more important then who's side they are from!
Hope it all works out!