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cute kitten Posts: 537
Hi girls, I posted earlier this week that I was having some spotting. I went back to the hospital on Tuesday and was told there had been no growth since 5 weeks and a miscarriage was very likely. As you can imagine DH and I are devastated. I think at this stage I have managed to go through all stages of grief but can't seem to get past anger. I cannot believe how cruel it is. It took us a year to conceive and then it is just snatched away. I am not sure how to move on from this. I do need some advise though. what happens next. how long is this going to take. Sorry for tmi here. but bleeding has gotten heavier but not what I expected , its just like a light period. I've to go back for another scan next week. DH would like to start trying again as soon as we get the all clear and I really want to be pregnant again, But I am so scared of going through this again. Anyway, sorry about all this, I haven't really managed to make sense of everything yet. Thanks for all your thoughts and prayers this week.
MummyLuv Posts: 2478
Oh sweetheart I'm so sorry, theres nothing I can say Take time to heal from thisand do whats right for u, Ur in my thoughts pet xxxx
Mrs. Taz Posts: 1216
So sorry to hear your news. You take your time and mind yourself. Take care :action32
baba Posts: 63
I'm so sorry for both of you. A miscarriage is such a traumatic experience especially when you have both been waiting so long to conceive. As regards of trying again you need to listen to your body and your emotions, and feel strong, some doctors advise that you may start trying straight away after first cycle, others recommend you wait until at least 3 cycles to give your body a chance to heal and prepare itself. Take time to grieve, and you are in my thoughts.
buzybumble Posts: 831
My heart goes out to you. Take as much time as you and your dh need to get upset and get rid of all that anger as its very important to come to terms with what has happened before ttc again. Will be thinking of you and take care :lvs
naughtybutnice Posts: 1858
Sorry to hear your news Lioness. you and your Dh are in my thoughts.
Babylon Posts: 334
Oh Lioness, I can't believe that this has happened to you. I think you have every right to feel angry, especially when it took you a year to conceive. It really isn't fair. Look after yourself and DH. :lvs
little mrs sunshine Posts: 5523
I am so sorry to hear this. I to have been through a m/c so know what your going through. It took us 6 months to get pregnant and when I got to 9 weeks I started spotting. The scan showed sac was 6 weeks and 6 days old. I was told to wait a week and go back for another scan as my dates might be wrong. That was the Tuesday. I stayed spotting for a few days then like that it was a like period (very light but heavier than spotting). On the Saturday night I knew I was about to m/c. I got a few cramps and well I passed the sac at home. DH was working and came home. He rang the maternity and they said to come in. The bleeding was heavy and they wanted me to stay in but I wanted to go home. The following day I was numb and thought it was over. I went to maternity to be scanned on the MOnday and they said it hadn't all passed and offered me a D&C. I asked to speak to my gyne (I had booked to be private when I got BFP) anyway he explained everything and did D&C that evening. What I would say to you is it could take a week for you to pass. Have you been offered a D&C? If you want me to go into more detail pm me but don't be alone at this time. It's very hard. I stayed off work a week afterwards. Afterwards you feel empty and alone and it's hard. It's such a cruel thing to happen to anything. I want to tell you though you have to tell yourself this, you can get pregnant which is half the battle (some people hate being told this and in one way I did but the harsh reality is I think it would be harder to be told you can't concieve). My gyne was briliant and explained to us that a pregnancy is decided at the moment of conception whether it's going to be viable or not. He told me that just because I had a m/c doesn't put me at any higher risk of having another. On your next pregnancy you will be offered a scan at 8 weeks which is brilliant as it is a worrying time. As regards to trying again after my D&C I got AF back after 28 days. I was told to wait for AF to return and then we could go back trying. Gyne said to us to wait for AF as at least we'll be sure of our dates. We tried the first month after AF coming with no success but we did get BFP the month after that. And now look at me I am nearly 29 weeks pregnant. Yes I thought the same things about m/c again and you will worry yourself stupid but you just have to take each day at a time. I'm sorry this has turned into a long post but just wanted to share my story with you. I know what your going through and it's so hard and such a cruel thing to happen to anyone. Lean on your DH for support and mind each other. Each day it does get easier but do what's right for you. YOu'll know yourself what is right for you both. Take care pet and I am truly sorry you had to go through this. :xxx :xxx :xxx
Thumbelina Posts: 2340
You poor thing. It is cruel and there is really no explaination for why it happens to some people and not others. That was one of the hardest things for me to get over......the whole 'why me?' issue. It does get easier though. On my 1st mc I started bleeding very heavily but I had to have a d&c as it didn't all pass. On my 2nd they noticed it on an 8 week scan, had to go back a week later and a mc was confirmed. I never bled. I was offered the choice of waiting for it to pass naturally or a d&c. I took the d&c as I found the 1st mc experience horrific. I bled for about 2 weeks after each op and my AF returned exactly 4 weeks after I stopped bleeding on both. 7 months has passed now since my last mc and I just found out I'm pregnant again. I'm delighted but terrified.....but I've no control over what's going to happen so I'll just have to wait and see. You will get through this and we're all here if you need any advice or just to rant. T x
darkie27 Posts: 1449
so so sorry to hear that you both are in my toughts :action31