Groomsmen

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jenny7785 Posts: 158
I need some advice to give my groom on this matter. We had two bridesmaids and two groomsmen, I had to change my maid of honour so I now have four bridesmaids.We are delighted with this but now we need two more groomsmen. He has two more best friends so should have been easy but the last one is the problem. He has a crazy girlfriend. Soon as we got engaged she had to be Engaged, she tried to book her wedding the week before ours in same hotel but wedding coordinator is good friend and told us straight away.she made him bring her overseas to get engaged so their story would be better than ours. (bearing in mind that we just decided to get married and planned the whole wedding months before we told anyone, there was no proposal or anything). She doesn't let her boyfriend see my fiance, in the last year they have seen each other three or four times, she rings him constantly, will turn up where he is and demand he go home. His relationship is his own problem but now The wedding is now a year away and tonight they asked my fiance straight out was hw asking his mate to be a groomsmen, he said I haven't decided on bridesmaids so he can't make any decisions. I know if he's a groomsmen that he won't be allowed on the stag, on the day he won't be allowed travel with my fiance, she will do something and start an argument because she can't sit with him. After the wedding she won't leave him alone for photos, there will be rows when he's at the top table. I've told my partner to just tell him straight out but he won't, he really wants his friend with him on the day but if she does something and I know she will then it will ruin the day
90210uk Posts: 42
I appreciate your situation, everyone knows someone with an annoying other half. You need to try and distance yourself from that though, and just be glad you aren't in that situation :) I would ask him to be groomsman, he is your fiancés best friends and should be with him on the day. I am sure the friend would be honoured and your fiancé will be happy. Distance yourself from the arguments that may start between them, it's between them not you and it's not your battle to fight. If he can't go on the stag then he can't go on the stag, that is going to be no different whether or not he is groomsman. Let her show her true colours if she does start something but you will be so happy you won't care. you only regret what you don't do and your fiancé may feel guilty and regret it if he doesn't ask his best friend to be bestman.
CoolInterestingUserName Posts: 326
I think I agree with 90210uk If your OH wants him as a groomsman he should ask him She does sound a little nuts and I know she might cause drama but you really just need to stay well out of it. It's their business, maybe just ask one of your bridesmaids and groomsmen to be a buffer so ye don't see or hear any of her sh*t? If he is important to your fiance then he should have him with him on his day.
MrsSparkle2B Posts: 1689
90210 summed it up perfectly, ask him & let him worry about it. Everyone knows someone or other with a crazy other half, their problem & dont make it yours because you wont win.
jenny7785 Posts: 158
Thanks guys, my fiance just read this and decided to sit down and explain to his friend what we were worried about. He told us he knows that our worries are more than likely what will happen on the day but he will tell her if she has a problem on the day she can leave and he will be spending the day with Y fiance. I still think she will do something but between my sisters and bridesmaids they will make sure I don't hear any of it
Jawl Posts: 8881
Please stop leaving things like this bother you!! Yes we do all know somebody with the nutty partner, but don't let it consume you about how she will behave on the day. If your H2b wants him as GM, he should have him. She's going to look a right tit if she creates a fuss about him sitting at the top table. Do you have mutual friends who will be at the wedding? I'm sure they will keep her occuppied for the day.
jenny7785 Posts: 158
Well he asked his friend to be a groomsmen, after speaking to him about our worries, and we were promised that everything would be fine. But even though she will know ppl at the wedding nobody will speak to her because she has been so rude to everyone. And tbh I'm spending a lot of money on my big day out so if I want to worry about what this girl might do on my wedding day,then I think I'm just being practical and preparing for the worst. And I wasn't worrying about nothing, I've seen first hand what this girl does when she isn't the centre of attention. I received an email two days after her partner was included on our wedding party stating... She would have to be present for anything her partner was involved in including suit fittings, rehearsals, stag do, top table, any photos he would be in, and any questions my fiance has can be sent to her via text and she will pass them on
mrsmcc2502 Posts: 497
Wow that is crazy! I understand why people are saying just ignore it but that sort of crazy can't be ignored!!! Imagine looking to be involved in suit fittings, the stag, top table - this girl has clearly never been told no before!!!
MissFizz Posts: 71
I would make sure her partner knows about that email if he doesn't already! Sounds like he needs to see sense so with a bit of luck they might have split up by your wedding!!
Cakeybride Posts: 96
[quote:2nre2982] I received an email two days after her partner was included on our wedding party stating... She would have to be present for anything her partner was involved in including suit fittings, rehearsals, stag do, top table, any photos he would be in, and any questions my fiance has can be sent to her via text and she will pass them on[/quote:2nre2982] OMG...I am actually gobsmacked on your behalf! Hope you told her where to go and if SHE has any questions about that, she can ask her partner. Such a pain you have to deal with this though and worry about it. Some laxatives for her the day before the wedding might ensure her non-attendance on your big day! :eek :o0