Guilt

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MrsChuffed Posts: 872
HI, I'm having a guilt issue at the moment. I'm American (been here 7 years) marrying an Irish lad. My parents are paying for the wedding. The reception is at Killashee House in the House part. My guilt is the fact that I'm now realizing how much this wedding will cost. About €21000 euro. The dollar is weak to the euro, so basically looking at $35000. This is not including flying my family over here (brother, wifes, kids) and B & B. My H2B and I will contribute to the cost, but we don't have loads to give. Being totally bridezilla, I want the perfect day. But my guilt is getting to me, that my parents are paying for it. Does anyone have suggestions for cutbacks (but the wedding will still be wonderful) and/or solutions for my guilt. Thanks so much for all advise given.
turfcutter Posts: 259
maybe yourself and h2b could contribute? would his family be able to help out?
fairy---princess Posts: 329
[quote="turfcutter":4zbxhk9s]maybe yourself and h2b could contribute? would his family be able to help out?[/quote:4zbxhk9s] Yep maybe offer to contribute! Your parents prob were aware though of the costs. Maybe just have a little chat with them and see what their feelings are.
wed2008 Posts: 258
There is so many ways in which you can cut back if you have a look at recent posts on here you will see there is many ways in which you can save money and loads of girls have been able to actually do this i.e: Buy your dress in the US (should be very simple for you) 2. Buy 2nd Hand BM Dresses 3. Buy your cake from M&S and decorate it yourself 4. Don't have any favours etc 5. Simple with the flowers etc etc the list goes on and on....... You should maybe just mention that your parents simply pay for the food at the reception and you and H2B can pay for all the other trimmings that you want for your day I am sure you will get cash as gifts from people. If your feeling guilt maybe you should sit back and stop being Bridezilla and remember afterall its only one day and can your parents really afford the expenses.
MrsChuffed Posts: 872
Your right. So far it's been grand, no pushy Mums or anything and I haven't thrown any hissys, I've been really relaxed. Just didn't realize how much all the little things add up to be. A bit anxious mostly. thanks again for the advise.
supernadster Posts: 15
You need to sit down with H2B and work out what you could offer to pay for/offer to pay for. For example, you could pay for the champagne, wine, nibbles etc. You could also let everyone pay for their own B&B. Your parents are obviously happy to pay, but in order for you to feel better about it, work out what you can afford and then discuss it with them. Don't feel guilty though, from experience, people don't offer what they can't afford! :wv
newyear09wife Posts: 899
hi , first of all try and relax... youll work it out... now.... when's the wedding?? can you sit your parents down and find ou realistically how much they can afford. have you any extra income.... no matter how small, that you could save and put towards the cost? what about h2b's family, could you maybe request that instead of gifts that they contribute to .. cake, flowers , video, cars or even invites. you can always find ways to cut back. my best friend is planning her wedding for next year while im the year after and with help from friends and family her end total will be half what mine is.
MrsChuffed Posts: 872
Thanks so much for the advise and support! I LOVE this site, obviously new to it. Am getting married next April. Just started looking at everything this week and am having panic attacks. I'm the only girl to old fashioned parents who have enough money. I am very lucky to have such wonderful parents. Like my Dad was the one concerned that Killashee House can have more than one wedding a day. He wants it to be my day (isn't he so sweet? Am also emotional this week, must be PMT) The guilt is coming from wanting a wonderful day at a huge cost, At the end of it, it's all for just one day but I still want it to be magical. Why is that?
MrsChuffed Posts: 872
Thanks so much for the advise and support! I LOVE this site, obviously new to it. Am getting married next April. Just started looking at everything this week and am having panic attacks. I'm the only girl to old fashioned parents who have enough money. I am very lucky to have such wonderful parents. Like my Dad was the one concerned that Killashee House can have more than one wedding a day. He wants it to be my day (isn't he so sweet? Am also emotional this week, must be PMT) The guilt is coming from wanting a wonderful day at a huge cost, At the end of it, it's all for just one day but I still want it to be magical. Why is that?
MrsWhippy09 Posts: 2346
I agree with Newyear09 bride! Your H2B's family could contribute. My FMIL is making the cake and my mam is paying for the flowers and one of my H2B's brothers is buying us the wine for the meal and treating it as our wedding gift! If everyone chips in a little bit, it will ease the expense of things Also, silk flowers are much cheaper than fresh flowers and are half the price! I was at a wedding fair on Sunday and there was a stand for a silk flowers supplier and they looked real!!... I couldn't believe the quality, they looked fab and in no way tacky looking! Every little bit helps! O-O