H2B doing me head in

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augbh Posts: 169
My H2B said he would do anything I asked of him to arrange our wedding.Great, I thought, a man who understands!! There's 3 tasks we agreed he would do: 1. Get his pre-nup enquiry filled out with his parish priest 2. Get the mass booklets printed up. 3. Organise the mens suits. Now, this was all agreed in March when we got engaged. Now, its 7 wks to wedding and he's only done task number 1 and half of task 3. He went to arrange the suits last night, with my Dad and his Dad. Got them measured, but they couldnt try on suits as the shop only had 1 member of staff and the storeroom was locked up. Now, thats understandable, but I had asked him to ring to make appt and make sure they could try stuff on, as his Dad etc had to take time off to go and get fitted etc and trying to get a time that suits all 3 of them, has been a nightmare.(according to him, he doesnt remember me asking him to ring them) He didnt call ahead and now, they have been measured, but have not tried anything on. Which normally is fine, but when H2B went for his 1st fitting, they measured him, but when he put that size on, it wasnt the right fit, so I'm hoping this wont be the case with all of them & it will only be 4 days before the weddign, that they all go and collect their suits. O:| if they're wrong, whats going to happen?! More: he needed to get all their shirt sizes-we are buying nice double cuffed tailored shirts for each of them (we were getting cufflinks & shirts as pressies for them) so i needed all of the neck sizes. He came home with only 3 out of the 4 we need. O:| To top this off, we havent closed the sale on our home yet, so when we do, it will be a rush to decorate, move in and get things sorted for the wedding. I tried to explain this to him without losing my head. I know he doesnt do these things to specifically annoy me, but I feel under such pressure and I honestly cant see the wood for the trees at this stage. When all this kicked off, I decided to go and have a shower-before I said/did something I regretted. Then I came down, explained calmly how I felt, then he made excuses etc and I got so angry. I threw him out of my parents house last night. Like a mad woman. Just opened the door and asked him to leave. This whole thing is upsetting me :o( and even after writing this post, my blood is just boiling. >:o( I didnt ask much of him and after I said I didnt mind organising everything else, all I asked was 3 little things. Arrgghh.
brideeee Posts: 1490
Yup, I hear ya. Unfortunately though, most of them when it comes to organising will just leave it to us. I'm not sure what you can do to change it though. I tried the nag approach, the softly softly approach, the angry approach and the if you loved me etc... approach- none of which worked, I don't know why they do it, but it's frustrating as hell!!! Maybe coz in the end you'll do it yourself. I was asking for months for him to go to his priest, until one day I said "you do realise that we can't get married without you going to see your priest" So don't worry you're not alone, but I'm sorry I can't help you out with where to go from here- I don't think they ever change, But I still love him with all my heart and I hope that's all that matters in the end, all the best, xx brideeee
contented Posts: 2625
Can I just offer my congratulations for getting your h2b to get his prenup enquiry done and to also attempt to arrange suit fittings. my yoke is absolutely useless - i've had to arrange all the suit fitting appointments and go with them to be sure everything is in order. i had to get his best man to hound him for weeks to get his pre nup done and as for mass booklets - sorry but you might be reaching at fresh air there because unless he's the most interested in wedding plans groom ever he aint gonna do it. :o0 :o0 :o0 actually - what i did with my (again) yoke was to pass over anything i needed him to do to the best man / groomsman. simply because they are chosen to help out and by god whatever i can delegate i will. and in fairness they have gotten stuff done for me. so my fair lady - involve the groomsmen and make them earn their crust and it'll motivate your h2b as well