H2B has let me down so badly

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anonymousbridetobe Posts: 1563
Deleted due to hurtful comments :o(
graceface Posts: 3632
Ah Pet, that sounds really horrible for you. I would be the same, I'd be really worried so I can understand where you're coming from. I'd also be very disappointed in him for lynig about it, he should have known as a grown man that it could only make things worse, however I will say that he probably saw how upset you were and lied in a panic. I don't know the guy, but that's what occurred to me as I read your post. i think a lot of people do that, unfortunately, when put on the spot. I also don't think he was doing anything serious, being with another woman or anything like that. it sounds to me like simple carelessness, leaving his phone behind, and underestimating how worried you'd be so not going out of his way to let you know. Also, as you seem to live apart from each other, it may not have occurred to him while out with friends that you would notice his absence so much. It would be different, I think, if you were sleeping in the same bed every night? I don't think this type of thing occurs to men as naturally as it does to us :thnk you poor thing. I would say to definitely let him know how much this upset you, so that he's more likely to be sure to contact you in the future if he'll be home late, and it will set a good precedent for your marriage about consideration for each other, I think. Let him know, then just reassure yourself that his reasons for all of this were not malicious or seriously deceptive, he was probably just being a typical man and not thinking it out properly :action32 hope you feel better soon! x
anonymousbridetobe Posts: 1563
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sandy13 Posts: 939
ah pet im so sorry for you, it can be very destressing when you cant get in contact with someone, men can be very taught less at times, its bugs me when they say there phone is dead or i lost my phone (would it kill him to borrow his mates phone and ring you to let you know) dont think you the only one this happens to they all do it every now and again but you do need to sit down and talk to him he needs to explain why he lied to you if he was only out playing cards with him mates, I would say try not to be to hard on him if its the first time somthing like this has happened men entend to do stupid things every now and then. From what u said you both seem to be really in love its nice to hear the good parts too, hope u sort it out soon. Sandy :wv
graceface Posts: 3632
No problem dear, you have every right to be upset. You're bound to still be angry with him right now, I think it will take a while for him to regain your trust, but seeing as I don't think he ever meant to hurt you in the first place, I'm sure you can resolve this. Don't worry about how you feel right now, it's perfectly normal and acceptable for you to be still mad at him. He needs to earn your trust again and learn that honesty is most definitely the best policy! All the best :thnk
anonymousbridetobe Posts: 1563
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Jean1 Posts: 145
My heart goes out to you hun. Men can be so thick sometimes, they dont realise how much we tend to worry. I think you need to look at his general behaviour eg Is he usually trustworthy? Is he generally thoughtful? Is it in his nature to do something bad behind your back? What im trying to say is that past behaviour usually mirrors present and future behaviour so if the other nite was a total out of the blue situation then chances are he just lied on the spot because of the guilt of spending a little bit of money when ye are trying to save. Think about it - you know him best :thnk
clucky Posts: 26471
god they are such fricking idiots sometimes arent they? he sounds like he was just careless and of course the thought you might have been worried didnt enter his head. I think he may have lied genuinely so you wouldnt worry about himpossibly losing money at the poker thing - if his mates got into betting higher amounts he might have felt he had to go along with them and dont think anything malicious was meant give him hell though the big eejit
anonymousbridetobe Posts: 1563
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pupsalove Posts: 1490
Ah girl I think you're making too much of this. He was out for a few pints, left behind the mobile and didn't want to get in trouble with you by telling you that he was out at a poker game with his mate so he told you a white lie. Thats blokes for you, I'm sure he never intended that it would upset you so much. Its not as if he's was off chasing other women. As for driving passed his house at 1am in the morning? :eek He is a grown man, you're his fiancee not his mother. You sound very stressed about the whole thing but its been blown out of all proportion if you ask me. I'm sorry thats probably not what you want to hear, but just reading it from a neutral point of view, thats my opinion.