Help with a civil ceremony?

Go to All Things Wedding

Jezabelle28
New Wolly
 
Posts: 3

Help with a civil ceremony?

Postby Jezabelle28 » Fri Dec 29, 2017 3:01 pm

Hi everyone!! So have gotten engaged recently and now begins the planning!! I'v got so many questions if anyone can help?

My family are very against a civil ceremony as they are quite religious but both my partner and I are a little "meh" about a church wedding.

So questions:

1) Where do I start with preparing? Is there a registrar I have to book to actually do the ceremony?
2) My sister said that she thought a civil ceremony is very strict that you cannot choose different readings/poems/ music, is this correct?
3) Our ideal day would be something that ceremony starts at maybe 2/3ish?, ceremony, photos and dinner for 6ish like a "Normal" wedding, does this sound doable or have any of ye ladies done something similar?

Anyone able to help a rather excited gal out? :xox

Bernadette Byrne
New Wolly
 
Posts: 11

Re: Help with a civil ceremony?

Postby Bernadette Byrne » Fri Dec 29, 2017 7:21 pm

Congrats on uh engagement.
A friend of mine recently had a civil ceremony and they had readings and songs that they both liked, the bride even walked down the isle to the theme song from star wars. . . Though they were not allowed to have any religious prayers or songs. The ceremony was lovely but I think that you ard a little restricted. Have you looked into a Humanist ceremony? They can pretty much do whatever kind of ceremony you like and they are legally allowed to marry you which spiritual celebrants are not.

Michelle Mitchell
New Wolly
 
Posts: 1

Re: Help with a civil ceremony?

Postby Michelle Mitchell » Thu Jan 04, 2018 10:14 pm

Hi Bernadette,

I’m getting married in civil ceremony next year. I live in France so I called my local HSE in Tullamore and she explained everything to me. It’s honestly so much more personal in my opinion. You can have readings but they cannot be religious, you can do your own vows and we are even permitted to do as much as we like in both English and French which is just fantastic. You can add in whatever little extras you like to include your loved ones so just think outside the box. I’m having mine in a castle so just make sure everything is ok with wherever you have it too. :heartbeat: Call your local HSE to get the full idea. Best of luck.

CasualBride
Mini Wolly
 
Posts: 534

Re: Help with a civil ceremony?

Postby CasualBride » Fri Jan 05, 2018 2:18 pm

Hi Jezabelle,
Congratulations on getting engaged!!

I had a civil ceremony in 2016. Everyone loved it, even my old parents, who are also religious - thankfully they don't put any pressure on us about things!

To answer the questions you asked, yes, you have to ring up your local HSE registrar to arrange an appointment with them to go down and register your intent to marry, which you have to do anyway, regardless of whether you have a civil, humanist or church wedding.
You have to give at least 3 month's notice to the HSE, but if you want one of their registrar's to perform the ceremony, I'd ring them immediately to see what dates they have free around the time you're planning for, as you'll be caught in a cycle now of seeing what venues are available on what dates, and then whether the registrar is also available on the same date.

You will have to pay - I think it's €200 - to the HSE to register your marriage, regardless of what kind of ceremony you have, and if they do the ceremony for you at a venue outside of their HSE building, you have to pay them mileage. I think I paid something like €310 in total to them for my wedding.

The time slots they perform ceremonies are are technically set in stone - 3 o clock in the afternoon is the usual time, but I'm fairly sure you can also have midday. But they are the only times they do (unless your registrar is just really sound and unofficially agrees a different time) and they have to be done on a weekday (basically they do them during office hours because they are HSE employees)
The venue also has to be on their approved list, so most hotels are ok, they've already gotten approval, but if you are thinking of having the ceremony somewhere more imaginative than a hotel, then the venue has to go about getting approved by the HSE first, so again, you need to get cracking on things like that asap, just in case there's any snags.

Readings, songs etc absolutely cannot have any religious content, but they can be anything at all other than that, which is nice for people like me who can't stand religious readings. I had great fun Googling my readings and had a list as long as my arm to choose from.
You are pretty much limited to 2 readings and maybe 3 musical pieces, but again, in my experience, the registrars are lovely, they want you to have a nice wedding day, they're not going to be too strict, as long as you don't take the pee and make the ceremony an hour long!

Ang1e
New Wolly
 
Posts: 69

Re: Help with a civil ceremony?

Postby Ang1e » Sat Jan 06, 2018 8:31 pm

Hello,

I recently had a civil ceremony and the registrar was lovely.

Check out this link on weddings online which I found was quite helpful :
https://www.weddingsonline.ie/planning/ ... de-Ireland

My venue was in Wicklow and I contacted the office in Wicklow and Dublin and the one in Dublin had the date we wanted. The only thing with a civil ceremony is the time is set (around 3pm for us) and it has to be a weekday (Which suited us fine)

My venue had a chapel like building so my dad walked me down the aisle and my florist decorated the place. You can pick what music you want for the ceremony as long as it is non religious. The registrar contacted us a few weeks beforehand to go through ceremony gand we could have gone with hand tying/candle lighting/ etc if we wanted to.

Have a lovely time planning!

Jezabelle28
New Wolly
 
Posts: 3

Re: Help with a civil ceremony?

Postby Jezabelle28 » Fri Jan 12, 2018 12:26 pm

Ladies thank you all so much for your help! This is going to sound really daft, but is the registrar who you register your intent with the same person who you check to see what available dates/times they have to do the actual ceremony? :-8

I think that's what is confusing me most :o0

Went onto the crsappointment website a few months ago (was secretly doing a sneak peek lol) and there must be something wrong with their website as it will not allow me to book an appointment :o( I live in Monaghan and because of this on the website I SHOULD be able to "book both your provisional ceremony date and your notification appointment."....But it wont let me, I have went as far as a 2025 and it still says "No timeslots available"....what's the point in having a website if it doesn't work :duh:

OH and I have an appointment this weekend to go look at a possible venue, hopefully if we get it sorted then it's full steam ahead on getting a registrar and all the legalities done! :heartbeat:

Inline - Algarve WP
cillcakes
New Wolly
 
Posts: 69

Re: Help with a civil ceremony?

Postby cillcakes » Fri Jan 12, 2018 1:02 pm

Hey
I'm having a civil ..with hse. Have intent on marriage done.the person doing intent may not be the person on the day it depends closer to time.as I liked person at my app but they could not guarantee it would be them.

cillcakes
New Wolly
 
Posts: 69

Re: Help with a civil ceremony?

Postby cillcakes » Fri Jan 12, 2018 1:05 pm

I think u need your date before app and with some there is a strict time to ceremony and days.humanists ceremony more flexible with everything

Ang1e
New Wolly
 
Posts: 69

Re: Help with a civil ceremony?

Postby Ang1e » Fri Jan 12, 2018 8:43 pm

Hiya,

I couldn't book the appointment online either . I would just ring the office directly. The registrar you register with might not be the one that goes out to your venue. You do need a date and venue when you go for the registration.

CasualBride
Mini Wolly
 
Posts: 534

Re: Help with a civil ceremony?

Postby CasualBride » Mon Jan 15, 2018 1:16 pm

Hi Jezabelle,

I'm not sure how many registrars each HSE office has, I don't think there are loads, so in theory, the person that you meet at your intent to marry appointment is likely to be the person who performs the ceremony, BUT because they're regular employees, the same as most of us, the person you meet today might be on holidays on the date of your ceremony, in which case, it obviously will be someone else. (unless they only have 1 registrar and I presume then, they would just tell you that a certain date isn't available if they know they're not going to be working that day)

We had to change our venue due to our hotel closing down, our new venue was in a different area to the registrar we'd booked with, but our original lady was so helpful and she just arranged things with her colleague in the other office for us. I spoke to the new registrar on the phone maybe once or twice but we'd never actually met, but to be quite honest with you, it didn't matter at all on the day - I know we'd all ideally like to be married by someone that we kind of know, but the ceremony is honestly so short, and all the registrars I had to deal with were lovely, so it really didn't matter.

You have to send in the content of your ceremony beforehand, the songs & readings, the names of your readers etc, and the registrar just has it all there in their little folder, nobody would ever have suspected that we'd never even met our registrar before the wedding!

Next

Go to All Things Wedding

Weddingsonline.ie Ltd, Swords Business Campus, Balheary Rd, Swords, Co. Dublin.
Tel +353 1 905 9680 Email: [email protected]
Registered Company No: 318585 VAT Registration No: IE6338585T