Hen Dilemma - Advice pls

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platinumbride Posts: 751
*posted here as it gets more traffic, hope thats ok* I am in a predicament girls. I have been getting my list together for the hen. we're staying in ireland but going on a weekend away, with the wedding being in Italy i dont want it to be too expensive. I have listed only people who are coming to Rome but I kinda feel like I want to invite my work buddy. We are the only 2 girls in work and we get on really well. Now im sure she knows she's not coming to the wedding as we are only having 55 and ive said tis only family and close friends etc. So do you think I should just leave it off and forget about inviting her? Would she feel awkward being the only person there not going to Rome? My friends and family are all so excited about Rome they will be gushing about it so I dont want her to feel left out and i dont want them to feel like they cant talk about! :ooh the things i get myself in a tizzy about! Any advice for me girls?
Flapjack Posts: 308
Don't invite her. If you're not close enough to invite her to the wedding then she shouldn't go to the hen. As you say, she'll just feel awkward.
crazyinlove78 Posts: 933
[quote="Flapjack":1jq7t34u]Don't invite her. If you're not close enough to invite her to the wedding then she shouldn't go to the hen. As you say, she'll just feel awkward.[/quote:1jq7t34u] +1 I have never understood people that invite people to hen and not to wedding, i think its a bit much, I mean she's close enough to spend money on hen weekend but not close enough friend to be askin to wedding. I wouldn't want to be invited to hen if wasn't being invited to wedding
curlysu Posts: 811
A friend of mine had this exact dilemma ! A girl that our group had gotten to know 6 months or so before the wedding wasn't invited to the wedding as it was abroad, but as we were having the hen in the city we live, she wanted to invite this girl. She just said to her that her numbers were limited for the wedding, but that she's love to have her at the hen. She came, and there was no awkwardness at all because everything was clear beforehand The only thing i'd say was that this worked because the girl in question knew lots of people the Hen. If your colleague wouldn't know many people, maybe she wouldn't be that comfortable.
ohsotired Posts: 7071
Agree - I would not invite her!
heidibridie12 Posts: 44
+1 Agreed - she shouldn't be invited if she's not going to the wedding. If you want to do something with her before the wedding, maybe see if she wants to do a girly night out or something. Otherwise you run the risk that she might get the wrong idea.
platinumbride Posts: 751
yeah i think thats what my gut is saying. its not that im not close enough to invite her to the wedding its just that between me and H2b when we first got engaged, we agreed no work colleagues. As his work is huge and he'd have around 6/7 guys he's friends with there, add their partners and it would be 14 on our list. we were keeping the list under 60 originally. i do want to invite her to the wedding but i know that would just look like an "afterthought" to her and i dont want that either. i just feel wretched over it as we are quite close for work colleagues and we do confide in each other but wouldnt see each other socially. :weep im in knots over it.
platinumbride Posts: 751
[quote="curlysu":11m2hgmr]A friend of mine had this exact dilemma ! A girl that our group had gotten to know 6 months or so before the wedding wasn't invited to the wedding as it was abroad, but as we were having the hen in the city we live, she wanted to invite this girl. She just said to her that her numbers were limited for the wedding, but that she's love to have her at the hen. She came, and there was no awkwardness at all because everything was clear beforehand The only thing i'd say was that this worked because the girl in question knew lots of people the Hen. If your colleague wouldn't know many people, maybe she wouldn't be that comfortable.[/quote:11m2hgmr] thanks for this. she wouldnt know ppl really so maybe ill just leave it. maybe i will suggest doing something beforehand. its hard when you have guilt over not inviting people. we have lots of family members even we havent invited as it is a small wedding abroad, i just hope they all understand. she is probably the only person i really regret not inviting originally. im really happy with our guestlist other than that.
RainbowNinja Posts: 4437
agree with the others.. the talk will all be on the wedding, especially as its in italy, i'm sure people are making it their holiday so it'll be all talk about it also, if i was invited to a hen, i would expect to be invited to the wedding
happyfamily Posts: 3323
I think if you invite her to the hen she'll assume she's invited to the wedding. If she's not coming to the wedding then don't invite her to the hen.