Hen weekend.....rant!!

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Jezzabelle Posts: 16
This is long so I forgive you if you don't make it to the end.... My hen weekend turned into a right old mess the past few days and I just need a rant more than a solution. As deposits and final payments were due within a couple of weeks of each other and so as to avoid asking people to transfer money twice, my BM paid deposits for all in good faith they were going and kept in touch with everyone by email with exact details of everything before and after all the payments were due. Finally when the last payments were due, there were no responses from five people. In the end myself, my sister, my mam and also my BM ended up calling them to ask for final decisions as they were avoiding emails and sms messages. Now it is confirmed they are not going…. Meanwhile, the company organizing the hen for us has a strict no refund on deposit policy which I have to accept. But it means that not only am I going to have to cover a 250 euro deposit for those who dropped out, but the overall costs of the weekend have gone up another 75 euro as five people less are going….great eh??, so now it’s 325 euro extra that I need to fork out – on top of what I have already paid for myself - 280 euro for the weekend and my flights home to Ireland for the weekend. At this rate, my hen weekend is going to end up costing me close on one thousand euro….I could cry! I know that those who dropped out should have to cough up but they are all members of my extended family and I don’t want any unnecessary stress and bad feeling before the wedding. Most of all I don’t want to upset my mam as the ‘offenders’ are on her side of the family. My parents have offered to pay the outstanding rather than asking my relations to pay and my BM has also offered to pay as she feels responsible for paying all the deposits upfront and on (perhaps naïve) good faith. But I don’t want my parents or my BM to have to take this on - would be mortified actually. So I am unfortunately adding this to our wedding bill….in the end, the money is one thing and it’s a lesson hard learned not to pay until you have the money from everyone… but what bothers me more is the nerve of people…only one of them has offered to pay her deposit but none of the others….and I have to add here that I only asked these girls as they had all been asking me to make sure I let them know about the hen weekend etc – one even talked about us choosing a theme and dressing up for the hen night. My solution??? Well as some things are already paid for and non-refundable, I have offered a couple of people who didn’t have the money to come originally the chance to come with us for a very reduced weekend rate so at least not all that we paid for is gone to waste completely - I will still be out most of the money but the company I have booked with has agreed that a couple of people can have an extra spa treatment each…so under the circumstances, I have decided to give them to the most deserving parties….my mam, my sister, my BM and me!!! If any of you made it this far, thanks for reading!! Any words of comfort to make me feel better?? I am a bit calmer now than I was earlier on so I suppose I may just look forward to the weekend now....just a pity it's costing me so much money
Roxy1 Posts: 713
Jezzabelle, you poor thing. Thats dreadful that they have let you down! Hen weekends cost enough without that added expense! Its very bad form on their part. Try to put it behind you & just enjoy. :lvs My CBM is trying to organise my hen for Sept. Costing less than 180euro per head for flights & 4 star accommdation & I can't believe the amount of people who have pulled out! Even one of my BMs says she can't afford it. Was hoping Id do a night in Dublin instead, not a hope! That would cost me twice as much!
marianf Posts: 5845
You poor thing. Stuff like that always happens, but I would be the same and would have paid the deposits for everyone rather than bothering them for money. Your hen is once in your life so try and put it behind you and have a ball :wv
gerbil Posts: 3528
that's rotten and sadly, only too common. but you know what people are like, they are "oh yeah great idea" in principle but then when they actually have to pay for it, not so much. HOWEVER you are going to have a great hen, you found an excellent solution in inviting the girls who couldn't have afforded it to take the empty places, this will give you a thousand extra karma points and you are being terribly fair to your BM and mam in not allowing them to bear the brunt of it. So have a ball, and when you get back, make sure the other eejits find out what a wonderful time they missed >:o) O-O :o)ll
fruitypie Posts: 826
Jezzabelle, what a bummer.. I hate dealing with money, but have been burned in the past by paying deposits for people - never again, one bitten twice shy. I'm hope you have a great hen weekend. :thnk
Milly83 Posts: 3620
That's terrible hon, sorry! I didn't want to make this mistake so I got the deposits up front rather than asking for them later.
Ca cest moi Posts: 7855
You poor pet, it is awful and it is very suprising the people who will let you down as I have found out from my own planning experiences. O:| O:| A couple of my friends backed out at the last minute for various reasons and I have to say I was upset about it but it just reassures you more of who your really good friends are. Still I hope you have a fantastic hen and try not to think about them. :xxx
glowgal Posts: 949
Thats terrible, if they committed to go they should have the decency to pay the deposit instead of letting you pay for it. Personally I would ask them for the money as they should have said at the time of booking that they couldn't go. That kind of thing drives me mad. Anyway you will have a great time without them!
Jezzabelle Posts: 16
Thanks everyone! Feel better having had a rant. And now I am really looking forward to the weekend again. Just finalizing details with the agency and if we get that sorted by tomorrow, I will be so happy and relieved. :-8 BTW I loved the Karma comment....was quite calming actually! Made me smile... :-)
she Posts: 3298
Thats so bad that your stuck to pay but in all honesty if those people said that they were going and knew about the deposit they should pay up!!!!It's not fair on you or your family. i know if it was me i'd be fuming with them. I would honestly ask them............ But on a lighter note i'm sure your hens will be great, just relax and enjoy......