Hens party - sorry it's long - rant alert

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Walking Bump Posts: 2095
I am sooooooooooo annoyed and upset I just had to vent here for a bit, so please bear with me. My sister is my CBM and she is arranging my hen which is not going to be for another 7 months I know but still it takes organising. She sent a circular e-mail about a month and a half ago in relation to the dates etc. where we were going blah blah blah... not one of my friends bothered to reply to her e-mail. I asked them if they were going and they said "ah yeah, just haven't booked my flight yet but I'm going". She has sent text messages and phoned them leaving voicemails on the machine but none of them (bar one) have bothered their a**es to have the courtesy to ring her back and say yes I'm going or no I'm not. What upsets me is that these are my friends who are supposed to be happy for me and they just don't seem to be making the effort. I can understand if someone can't come along because of money restraints etc. and there's no problem with that in fact a college friend has told me she can't go because she's saving for a house but she's said she still wants to do something (I only know her 2 years). I've known these "friends" since I was 7. They could at least have the decency to let me know. Some of these "friends" haven't even bothered to come and visit myself and h2b in our new house (even though) we're only 20 mins away and we moved in nearly 8 months ago now. I'm hurt that they couldn't be bothered with anything and am beginning to wonder if it's me and now I'm running around the place apologising to my sister for causing so much hassle. People are so rude at times..... Really O:| O:| O:| O:|
fire fly Posts: 1241
You poor thing. Where are you planning on going? Is it going to be expensive? Maybe thats why?
MRS NYEB2007 Posts: 3275
The cheek of them! If I were you I would tell them all these are the plans prices etc... give them a deadline if they haven't contacted you or your sis by them, tell them you will have booked for the number of ppl then, after that IF they want to go they will have to organise it themselves
Walking Bump Posts: 2095
It should cost less than €180 for the two nights but then there is spending money. All of these girls are in well paid jobs though, better than I am in some cases, but I'd understand if they were just to say, no I can't go, it's too expensive. FMIL keeps asking me who's going etc etc. and I'm so embarassed to say that I don't know, none of my "friends" will commit etc. We're going to Liverpool and already my sis is having difficulty in finding accommodation which is why she's trying to confirm everyone coming so that she can book somewhere.
Tiredmum Posts: 90
Here's your sister here.. Looks like none of my friends will be at my hen... Going to Killarney and it is around 40 for one night... So pissed off...
Capetown Posts: 976
Firstly it sucks and shame on your friends for not having the manners to reply. I think going away on a hen is a lovely idea but it does make things very expensive. I have a wedding every month this year untill my own (september) and I have 4 Hen nights to go to. All in Ireland thankgod. I know that if I was asked to go on a foreign hen I wouldn't go simply because I cant afford to. Now I would have the manners to decline the invitation but that's just me. A lot of people don't like saying they can't afford to do something and therefore will ignore emails phonecalls etc. Why don't you contact all the people that are suppost (sp) to go on your hen and ask them directly if they are willing to go or is it too expensive for them. Then you need to decide would you rather have a smaller hen abroad or a bigger local night. Good luck with your decision / organising. Personally I think its a money issue.
Elkie Posts: 127
You poor pet. I'm in the same boat. Not only are my BMs not trying to help me, they're actually putting up obstacles with dates. Don't start doubting yourself or doubting their friendship, they're obviously not prioritising it like you'd hoped but I think we just have to manage as best we can. I was in tears at my desk half an hour ago and it's the only time anything so far has stressed me or upset me and I'm determined not to let it happen again, let alone by my so called 'best friends'. Maybe get your sis to send a final email with a deadline and if they don't respond, move on and look forward to it. I suppose we all think it won't happen to us but look how many of us are on this forum angry and upset. Ur not in it alone......
Missus Lippy Posts: 5879
Buffy I think you need to ring around everyone yourself with prices and dates and get a straight answer as to who is going. As somebody who was BM and organised a hen a couple of years ago (from Cork to Dublin and not even abroad!), people are just hopeless and trying to tie them down is a nightmare. Maybe you might have to think about just having a few people going to Liverpool and then have one at home for everybody that can't make it. Maybe it is the money that's putting them off as changing sterling costs a fortune, I will be going to Liverpool during the summer for a weekend and what it will cost me, I could have put towards a week away in the sun. We stayed at the Feathers Hotel, it's a few minutes walk down hill to the city centre (near that pointy cathedral Paddy's wigwam!), if you google it you will get a number as it's part of a chain. It's a nice hotel, central and has a bar for you and your chicks to meet in. Failing that, try the Liverpool Tourist Office in Albert Dock, give them your budget and let them do the hard work. I recommended this hotel to somebody else in H & S and they booked it so if you want to take a look back, that hen might be back by now and you could PM her to ask how she got on. Keep the chin up, when you are there and having a ball, it will be so worth it, it's a great city.
Mrs Snove Posts: 1611
I do think it's bad form that none of them has replied but maybe it's so far away that they feel there's plenty of time yet. We really only started organising mine 2 months before and it was much easier to get everyone to commit that close to it. I do understand if you're going abroad that you may need to plan a bit earlier alright though. Try not to leave it get to you, I doubt that they are purposely being rude.
Princess Cinders Posts: 11475
That is annoying particularly when you would understand if they didnt go due to cost