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Sheesh Posts: 1129
I'm sick and tired of my father dictating who he wants at my wedding! A few months back there was a huge argument about him wanting to invite his nephews who are way older than me,I didn't want to invite them but we did to keep the peace. Last night I rang my mother for a chat,and when my father knew it was me,he asked my mother to ask me if there was an invitation for another nephew of his,who he hardly even gets onwith. My father has said on numerous occasions that he didnt want this nephew there at the wedding,so when he asked last night,my mother was surprised. She did ask me if there was one for him,and I said no. My father then proceeded to shout and give out and it ended with me hanging up on my mother mid conversation. I'm so upset and angry with him. He thinks he has a right to invite who he wants and myself and h2b will pick up the bill. I've told my mother that until he apologises there won't be any relationship between me and him. This was the anger talking, I just didnt expect such behaviour from him. There's no need to reply. I just wanted to get it out.
BusyDee Posts: 8527
Ah thats very annoying! I assume he's not contributing to the wedding? If not then he has no right to be dictating who is invited. He probably thinks coz you gave in the last time that you would have gave in this time.
RainbowNinja Posts: 4437
ah ya poor thing... :action32 what is it with some parents and wanting to invite every tom, dick and harry! i think you're right to stick to your guns, your dad has to realise he is in the wrong and its YOUR big day, not his
Piggle Posts: 1770
Stick to your guns and keep saying "I can't go into debt for someone that I hardly see" over and over and over!! He will soon see its not just a matter of inviting them, there is a small matter of a big bill at the end!
AmandaMc Posts: 1813
I really feel for you. I think if parents are contributing to the day then they should have some say in who comes....but if you're fitting the bill absoluetly not, stick to your guns. We gave our parents 2 wildcards each to invite an extra couple but both parents were happy with their siblings who were already invited, they knew we wanted to keep it around the 90 mark so didn't want to push up our numbers. And like you we're footing the bill ourselves so they really haven't interfered
Sheesh Posts: 1129
They are contributing,they are getting the cake,flowers and wedding car for us as well as paying for the drinks for the toast. They offered this at the very start,asnd we are very grateful. But now I feel like I'm beholden to them,as if I have to invite everyone they want because they are paying for these things. He has these tantrums and makes everyone suffer over them,that's why I gave in the last time. I would say the thing about not getting into debt because of people,but I said something to this effect the last time and my parents offered to pay for people to come,which I refused cos then we would have loads of stranger at it,just for the day out and they wouldn't be there because they are our nearest and dearest.
paperclips Posts: 3146
Tell him that you are going to cancel the whole wedding as a result of his behaviour and that your going off to elope and get married in some mad wild place. Tell him that he has put you under too much stress and hassle that it would be just easier for you to go off by yourselves - that might reign him in a bit!
AmandaMc Posts: 1813
[quote="What a Wonderful World":212crsb4]They are contributing,they are getting the cake,flowers and wedding car for us as well as paying for the drinks for the toast. They offered this at the very start,asnd we are very grateful. But now I feel like I'm beholden to them,as if I have to invite everyone they want because they are paying for these things. He has these tantrums and makes everyone suffer over them,that's why I gave in the last time. I would say the thing about not getting into debt because of people,but I said something to this effect the last time and my parents offered to pay for people to come,which I refused cos then we would have loads of stranger at it,just for the day out and they wouldn't be there because they are our nearest and dearest.[/quote:212crsb4] Sorry just to clarify I didn't mean contributing gives them a right to dictate guests- maybe one or 2 wildcards but you still have a massive bill to foot and contributing does not mean your dad has the right to invite everyone he wants (some parents still pay for the majority of the wedding but I think this means you have to let go of a lot of control but in your case the majority of the bill sits with you)- like I said a token wildcard or two but he's not being reasonable by thinking his contribution means he can invite nephews you barely know. If you knew there was a condition to these contributions you probably would have prefered to do it all yourselves!! Good luck, hope it works out, not nice having these stresses coming up to your big day. He's not being fair at all :action32
07Bride2012 Posts: 130
[quote="What a Wonderful World"]They are contributing,they are getting the cake,flowers and wedding car for us as well as paying for the drinks for the toast. quote] I think if you're the one paying for the food then you get to dictate who goes and who's doesn't. I would maybe extend an evening invite to people that your dad wants to invite, as thats a sort of compromise: they get to go but its doesnt cost you as much!Or just be blunt and tell your dad if he wants extra people at the whole day then he can pay for their meals! Its not fair on you to keep adding to the list. If your parents are paying for the reception part then by all means they get as much a say in who goes but if you're paying then its your guest list! :)
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