How do I choose a bridesmaid?

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MrsExcited2010 Posts: 210
Hi girls, I am sure everyone goes through this but looking for a bit of quick advice. I have picked my only sister to be bridesmaid however I have decided that I now would love to have a second one just to balance things out. I have a small group of close friends that go back a long time to school days and other friends I have met in the last few years. There is one girl in the more recent group I would really like to ask, she is so helpful and would be an amazing support in the run up and on the day. we are only having a small wedding so 2 is more than enough however I am really worried I am going to upset some of my older friends. I am already a bridesmaid for a friend of mine (the older crew) but I know it would be silly to ask her back anyway as she is getting married just before me so she won't have much time to help me out!! That cuts one out however there are about 3 others that I think could be upset or hurt.... advice?? Thanks
MrsExcited2010 Posts: 210
just in addition, my h2b really thinks I should ask the girl I want and feels I shouldn't worry about upsetting my older friends but I think its different for guys......
Miss Coops Posts: 219
Hi excitedbride2010, Im going through the same anxieties, its hard isnt it as you really dont want to offend anyone but you are going to and there's no getting away from it im afraid :-8 I have made the choice but havent come out and asked yet! Im going for a meal with my girlfriends next week and Im going to ask THE 2 girls before hand. How I chose was - The friend I have known the longest and knows me inside out (better than I know myself!) and The friend that has always been there and is around no matter what (for fun times or for a shoulder!) Im also asking my h2b's only sister (I havent got one!) Who will be a huge help to you through the wedding prep and on the big day itself??
Dipsy80 Posts: 1038
Ask who you want to yourself. I asked H2B's 2 sisters because he asked me to and it's been the worst wedding decision I made so far. Haven't even heard from either of them in over 2 or 3 months. Can't get in contact with them ever. Basically ask whoever you want and who you think will be best as bridesmaid. People may be a bit upset over your decision but they will get over that. You could tell your older friends that you weren't able to chose between and you didn't think it was fair to do so.
Sweetmum Posts: 2146
i would ask that friend you want,its great to have a bridemaid that has the time to do little jobs for you on the run up to your big day. i was bridemaid twice for friends but didnt pick them for my own wedding(picked my sister and a close friend).reason why as they had kids and i knew they wouldnt have the time to spare for shopping etc. its tyour day pick who you want
Know this feeling and as a result I am having six bridesmaids. However love all of them to bits and could not leave any of them out as they have each and everyone of them shaped me and helped me through life X
Aine1230 Posts: 36
I agree with the other posters. I asked my best friend of 15 years and my sister in law(brothers wife) It was the best decision I made. Hubby has 1 sister and I don't have any, but to be honest she was never my favourite person in the world and would have caused me more stress if she was there. As a result of this she didn't speak to me on the wedding day, didn't even give us a card. Last week I got fed up of the whole thing and sent her a text asking what the problem was. I got a bitchy reply saying that I should have asked her to be bridesmaid because it was only the cost of an extra dress :eek and that it was all in my head. She said she didn't have any problems with me. This is the person that I haven't seen or spoken to in over 5 months. I totally backed down so that I'm not being seen as the trouble maker in all this but I won't forgive or forget what shes done. Sorry for the mini rant but please ask the girl that you really want. You need the help and you need the shoulder in the run up to the wedding. The other girls will understand. Good luck with your decision but be selfish and make the choice for yourself and not for someone that you want to keep happy.
fluffiesmam Posts: 1470
i will tell you a little of my experience. I picked old friends over new ones, only to have come to the realisation that maybe we have out-grown each other. the only thing we have in common is that we used to be best friends! i feel like i have moved on and my personality has changed so much that there are times that i look at one in particular and feel pity, and that makes me a crap friend to her, iykwim, she deserves better, and so do i. But... i have asked them, and i cannot undo that now, but if i had my time back i would have done things completely different.. in reality they may have been upset if i had chosen different people and would have gotten over it in time..
july2009bride Posts: 532
I had the same dilema. I ended up having my best friend and 2 god-daughers, hubby only wanted his brother as bestman so I explained this to my other friends and asked them to do readings instead, They understood.
joker Posts: 2789
I have no sisters n choose my cousin who ive always been close to n my oldest friend from uni(well we actually worked in a bar together whilst at uni) n e more n it would have been a struggle to decide... Choose who you feel comfortable having...