How do I tell them.

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nic06 Posts: 454
Girls, I am in a complete tizz wazz. I need to tell my two closest friends before it gets out that I am pregnant. The first sweetheart got married 4 years ago and has been TTC’ing ever since. She put in the most unbelievable year last year with hormones and no BFP and she has just started into IVF. We both have always said we were going to try the minute we were married and here I come only married 3 months and I have to tell her that I am pregnant. I know that she will be delighted but I know she will also be heartbroken and I hate upsetting her. The second buddy (we all hang around together and have for years) is getting married on the 24th August next year. Now we were all together when her H2B proposed and we really do share so much. I am due 6 days before the wedding and I am already trying to see how I can possibly manage to be at her day either overdue or with a 6 day old.... don't know how to manage it. Any advice on what to say to them.... we are having lunch together for christmas early next week and I was going to tell them !
Elliecat Posts: 2725
Tough situation! My two sisters both got pregnant, while another sister had been trying for quite a while and they really dreaded telling her. The sister who was having difficulties said to me afterwards that although she was a bit gutted she would hate to think that anyone felt guilty at such a happy time and that she'd far rather they were straight with her. As for the other friend's wedding, you don't have much control over it I'm afraid - all you can say is that if its humanly possible, you'll be ther - I'm sure she'll undertand!
Barbalou Posts: 1617
What a lovely friend you are, nice to see that you are concerned about your friends and how your wonderful news will affect them. I'm sure they will be delighted for you. :thnk
Sphynx Posts: 6795
:eek If it was me, I'd be the exact same - dreading their reactions! But you know what, they sound like they are a couple of brilliant friends, and I bet they will suprise you. I bet they will be delighted for you, even if part of them is hurt. It's probably a good thing that one friend is TTC so she will totally understand how you can't put your life on hold for someone else's wedding, so she can calm the other friend down if she has any Bridezilla moments! All you can do is your best and say you will try your damndest (sp?) to be at the wedding but that you can't promise. Did she ask you to be bridesmaid? I couldn't ask two of my best friends to be bridesmaids as they had final college exams coming up and I didn't know right up until the end if they would even be there. I didn't feel mad or hurt at all, just a little sad, but was thrilled to bits when they both made it to the day. You can still make a big fuss of the girl getting married even if you are pregnant and even if you miss her day you can make it up to her. As for your other friend, it will be tough on her, but you can now chat together about the whole process of TTC which is great for her. These sound like great mates - don't underestimate them and don't wreck your head over it. This is happy happy news! :o)ll
nic06 Posts: 454
Thanks Girls, They really are the best friends a girl could have and we are always there for each other. I know that they will be happy for me, but I am taking something from each of them with my happiness and I hate that. I will just have to go all out before the wedding for my buddy. My other friend has had us to support her and I will just have to reassure her that I am there more than ever.
Mrs Peg Posts: 1778
Nic, as the girls say, the fact that ur being so thoughtful about it is the main thing - i think people struggling to get pregnant are hurt when people are insensitive and don't consider how they feel - you obviously have! good luck with it - i'm sure they'll be over the moon for u.
mumtobe Posts: 145
I have to agree with the other girls. If these girls are as good friends as you say they are they will be delighted for you. I was in the opposite poisition, I married 5.5 yrs was 3 yrs trying & all my friends got pregnant before me.One friend got pregnant 1 month after her wedding & came to tell me her news @ 6 wks.The timing couldnt have been worse cos I had just done a test 10 mins before she arrived & got a BFN. When she told me I started crying , I was happy for her but sad for me.She understood & thats what good friends do.She has a beautiful 6 month old & I'm now 3 months pregant myself.When I told her she started crying & was so happy for me. Your friends will be the exact same. Congrats & mind yourself & the baby