How do you choose your bridesmaids ?

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OConnell2b Posts: 102
Message has been removed
chrystal Posts: 863
[quote="OConnell2b":2j9bp8pa] [b:2j9bp8pa]I have one friend that has always been there for me. She has been a true friend for years and she has a heart of gold.[/b:2j9bp8pa] I know that she will expect to be asked. [b:2j9bp8pa]But[/b:2j9bp8pa] to be honest she can be a little moody sometimes and i know that she doesn't really get on with one of the other bridesmaids. Im not sure what kind of atmosphere there will be on the big day with her day. Also im not sure how helpful she will be during the lead up to the wedding. [/quote:2j9bp8pa] If you don't mind me pointing out, that is an incredibly horrible way to describe someone that has always been there for you and is a true friend for years with a heart of gold. If she doesn't get on with one of the other bridesmaids why haven't you considered the option of having her instead of this other bridesmaid or is just deep in your heart you don't actually want this girl and are looking for us to justify you not picking her. How helpful do you need these maids to be in the lead up to YOUR wedding? Perhaps you are setting off with very high expectations of them all and that would need to be clearly explained to them or you might find all three being unable to live up to your expectations and your day would be a lot worse then.
Jawl Posts: 8881
I am also an only girl. My SIL has been in my life for 22 years though, so she's the sister I never had, so a natural choice. I picked my friend for the second, and didn't want a third. We ended up with a third guy, so had to ask somebody else, and h2b's niece was it. I'm glad I asked her though, because she's really nice girl and will be great in teh run up to it. Nothing is too much trouble to her.
teapotty Posts: 2085
Ah Chrystal I think you're being a bit harsh- she's just telling the facts as they are: this girl is a good friend, heart of gold but can be moody and doesn't get on with one of the other girls. They are just facts. Firstly you don't have to ask the two that asked you to be the BM- sure you could have been BM 7 times before your own wedding and you couldn't ask all 7 of those girls. There are no rules. BMs do not have to do very much tbh- I know you'd like their help and opinions but at the end of the day you make all the decisions. I can actually never understand the girls on WOL who give out about how uninterested their BMs are in their wedding- weddings are really not that interesting unless you're getting married. So go with your gut feeling on who you would like- forget about things like two of the girls not getting along- they should be mature enough to be civil and friendly if they are both your friends and both going to be at the wedding, whether they are bms or not.
OConnell2b Posts: 102
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chrystal Posts: 863
When you post up a topic looking for advice you have to understand that people have different opinions. I gave you mine and you don't have to take it on board if you don't wish. Just because you don't like it doesn't mean I'm having a bad day and you got the brunt of it. I'm having a perfectly good day as always, as I'm level headed and can take and leave opinions as I see fit without thinking those that take the time to reply have issues! :wv
RoseDawson Posts: 1494
I only have one sister so she was always going to be my bridesmaid. However I wanted to have two. Now I was bridesmaid for one of my friends 3/4 years ago but this did not make me think I should pick her just because she picked me ifkwim. Anyway I decided to pick a great friend of mine that has no sisters of her own and was never asked to be bridesmaid before. She was SO happy to be asked. Now I had lots of other good friends that I could have asked but I just knew in my heart I wanted to ask this girl and so I did. I did not worry too much about who I was going to offend, at the end of the day I could only ask one friend and so I went with MY choice. You can only do the same, if she is a very good friend and has always been there for you then why not, even if she can be a bit moody so what, If she is someone special to you then you will be so happy to have here there on your wedding day. Happy planning :thnk
OConnell2b Posts: 102
Fair point Chrystal. Thanks for taking the time to reply. Glad your having a perfect day :)
OConnell2b Posts: 102
[quote="littlechick-":1hgs4lz5]I only have one sister so she was always going to be my bridesmaid. However I wanted to have two. Now I was bridesmaid for one of my friends 3/4 years ago but this did not make me think I should pick her just because she picked me ifkwim. Anyway I decided to pick a great friend of mine that has no sisters of her own and was never asked to be bridesmaid before. She was SO happy to be asked. Now I had lots of other good friends that I could have asked but I just knew in my heart I wanted to ask this girl and so I did. I did not worry too much about who I was going to offend, at the end of the day I could only ask one friend and so I went with MY choice. You can only do the same, if she is a very good friend and has always been there for you then why not, even if she can be a bit moody so what, If she is someone special to you then you will be so happy to have here there on your wedding day. Happy planning :thnk[/quote:1hgs4lz5] Thank you so much for the advice, really helpful. :thnk
petersgirl Posts: 1568
Hey - just wanted to say - is it really important that you have 3 to match the groomsmen? I know some people want everything to match up and all that, but I really don't think BM is a job that should be picked just to make up numbers. I think it's better to have the people you really want for support around you, this is what a BM is for. I'm so glad with my choice, which I was having such a dilema over. My 2 BM's are very calm, laid back people and don't interfere, and I love them for that because you'll find A LOT of people want to throw their opinion at you and tell you what you should be doing. I nearly asked another girl, but I'm so glad now as I can see she would just have taken over! We have 1 best man and 2 BM's, I really don't think the numbers matter. Hope that helps :wv