How soon for each child

We've Moved!

Our wonderful discussion forums have now moved to Facebook...

Click to join us in our HIGM ("Help I'm Getting Married") group!

Mama Dora Posts: 14987
Girls Following on from another post do you think its better to have kids close in age or have a 3 or 4 year gap? DH said not to long ago it would be better to go again when this baby please God is one or so :eek :eek I always felt too close in age would be far too much to cope with but then again the possibily of siblings growing up together is great! Is it important to each child time by means of a decent age gap? sorry about the deep ramblings....
little mrs sunshine Posts: 5523
I think when they are older in school it's nice they are close in age. I know there is 8 years between me and older sister and she was done with school when I started secondary. Plus 4 years between me and my other sister. I'd say at the time when they are young it's hard work but perhaps when they reach about 5 or 6 it would be easier. Plus be nice if they were close pals. DH came home after a few beers last night declaring we were having 3 kids for certain, maybe 4. I was like well let's just see can we have this one first. :o0 :o0 :o0 :o0
Mama Dora Posts: 14987
There is a 4 year gap with me and my sister too,we weren't that close growing up as such but are now we are was nice just the two of us but I would love about 4 myself,in saying that have to see what having the first one is like first :o0 :o0
Barbalou Posts: 1617
I think it depends, I think 2 years is a nice gap but it really depends on the mothers age, for those of us in our thirties who would like a few we may not have the choice of waiting IYKWIM. Would love to have 3/4 kids but thinking about it, I really don't know how we'd manage financially if they were steps of stairs. Saying that we've yet to have the first so it may never be a worry for us.. So just wondering how do you manage with 3 or more kids financially
notlongtogo Posts: 5040
Ill hopefully have them 2 years apart, but that will depend on financial circumstances and also how im coping with them (kids). My sis will have her second when her first is just turning 2 and tbh i dont know how she will cope. Her DS is a dote but he is so active and into everything and can be very clingy to her at times so it will be difficult for her with a new baby to mind aswell. The only thing is she will be quicker at things like feeding, changing nappies and bathing cos of the practice so im sure that will help.
pattie Posts: 2379
I'll be 34 when this one arrives so I'll have to have them close together as I'd like 3 or 4 (at least that's what I think now, might revise it down in a few months!). But I also think it's nice for them to be close in age so they can be company for each other. I've a brother 2 years older and we had great craic as kids, plus he looked for me at school. My sister's 2 youngest are only a year and a half apart and they are so close, they adore each other. The girl is the older one and it is so cute to see her reading books to her younger brother (she's a bit advanced and he's a bit immature). They like the same kind of games and play away happily together for hours.
Lady Di Posts: 2487
I think its nice to get them all out of the way tbh (and then I can get my surgery done to fix all the bits! :o0 ). I think if you have them closeish together then they'll nearly all be in primary school together, then secondary etc. Would make life a lot easier on you rather than starting nappies all over again when you've one child in secondary school! But then again you don't know how you'll cope or physically/mentally when you'll be ready for another. My sis's first and so far only child was over 12 lbs and has had a lot of trouble since as internally she was really very damaged from carrying her. She said its only now two and a half years later that he body has sort of told her that its ready to go again, she said she wasn't till now!
NewGirl Posts: 1143
This is a difficult one. I cant decide which I think best. I've watched my SIL's and in two cases they were "caught" aprox 5 months after first arrived. They found if very difficult, First child was still just a baby when second arrived, with all the nappies etc they both admit it was very difficult and wouldn't do it again for any money. But in saying that the kids are 3 and 4 now and best friends now and no problems at all. In one case they are now expecting their third and the second will be turning four. I think myself I'll wait until this lil one is about 18-24 months before trying atain, maybe we'll be at potty training stage and not have 2 bums to change :o0