How to choose Bridesmaids....

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ladya Posts: 34
Hi girls, this is my dilemna....I have been bridesmaid 3 times for 3 friends. I don't have any sisters. I just want to have one bridesmaid. Not sure how the other 2 will feel if I don't ask them to do the job. Would you be insulted if you were bridesmaid for someone and that person didn't ask you back??
BusyDee Posts: 8527
Its a tricky one alright - I had my own head done in the last 6 months at least wondering who I would have - I have one sis and one SIL2B but they wouldnt be my "best" friends y'know? BUT I only wanted 2 BM's as wedding is only 40 ppl. I was BM for my friend but she had no sisters so I think it changes whether someone has sisters or not. I mean if you had a sister surely the friends wouldnt expect you to pick them over her? Although nothing wrong with not having a sister either!! Contemplated it myself for a while. Anyway decided on my sister and SIL2B - told my friend and she was grand about it totally understood - like we even said when we were younger that we would both be each others so I did feel like I was letting her down a bit!! She did say though that if I was having a big wedding she would have been peed off!!!!! She's still being my "unoffical" bm though - will come shopping for dresses etc! Sorry for rambling there a bit... would you be closer to one moreso than the others? I'm sure if they are anyway a good friend they would understand? Maybe include them when going for dresses etc like I'm doing? HTH
ladya Posts: 34
The worst of it is that I have another friend that I would pick over the 3. None of the 3 have been bridesmaid before so I think they'd all be anxious to do it. Personally, I would rather die than be bridesmaid ever again!!! Would rather go as a guest and just enjoy the day. Would hate to offend anyone over one day, all the same. O:|
BusyDee Posts: 8527
Ya I would much rather be a guest too. In that case why not ask the other friend. Be very careful of who you pick as nearly everyday on this site there is someone regreting their choice of BM! Really if they are any good of a friend they should understand. What if you were bridesmaid for 10 friends? Does that mean you have to have 10 bms? NO!!!
ladya Posts: 34
That's true. Have another little while to decide anyhow!
sinead266 Posts: 914
it is hard to choose a bm, i had the same problem i have 6 sisters, my best friend and my childhood friend who i always promised that she would be my bm but last few years we only seen each other now and again, we would talk more through bebo, so i asked my best friend who i see all the time and 2 of my sisters. my childhood friend didnt speak to me for a while but never mentioned she was raging lol thinks she got over it now though, hope you get sorted out just remember you cant please everyone.
sinocon Posts: 15
I am in a similar situation so you have my sympathy... I have 5 sister and am currently trying to pick 2/3 BMs. Trouble is they all want to be BM!! So how do I choose?? and more importantly how do I let the other sisters down O:| O:| Any ideas...
Maria1983 Posts: 390
No, I would not be insulted. I don't feel that your bridesmaid has to be your friend for the sake of being polite. I'm sure you're very good friends, but there is no law that says you have to have her because she had you. It's a nice gesture yes, but I'm sure as a good friend, she'll understand that you only want to have one. Your bridesmaid is the person closest to you. True friends will not hold grudges against you over not choosing them.
spring2010 Posts: 81
i think if they are your friends they will understand...would you consider meeting up with them and telling them your dilema and maybe agree to pick a name out of a hat (if you didnt mind which friend was going to be bm of course)
ladya Posts: 34
I'll probably end up asking my oldest friend and explain it like that. I'd hate for any of my friends to get upset with me over this. You never know though!