How would you feel?

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MRS.Q Posts: 558
Hi I'm getting married next summer and am having three bridesmaids.... or am I??? The problem is 2 of the girls have decided they are trying for babies, AFTER I have bought dresses, shoes, jewellery etc...!!!!! One of them has told me out straight and the other I have only heard through her boyfriend.... My wedding is in less than nine months so if they fall pregnant anytime soon I'm screwed for bridesmaids and left with dresses etc..... I know that they cant revolve their lives around my wedding but I cant help but feeling a bit hurt..... When we went looking at dresses there was no mention of holding off for a bit by either of them.... I was bridesmaid for one of them a while ago and really pulled out all the stops in relation to support and hens etc... I would love to hear how you wollies would feel??? I hope I dont sound selfish... I suppose I'm just raging that they both let me go and buy the dresses etc... when they must have known what their plans were..... O:|
One more bride 2 B Posts: 63
I understand that you feel a little upset, however, they can't hold off on life for your wedding. Having said that they should have told you that they are considering TTC and that maybe said 'we should wait for a while to get dresses' Would you have a problem having a BM that is pregnant? I know if one of mine told me they were expecting I would be delighted for them. The ones I asked I am very close to so I would still have them if they felt comfortable. Regarding the dresses, which are so expensive could they be altered to allow for pregnancy? If not maybe you could come to an agreement about the BM paying for the second dress with you? This is such a sensitive subject. Maybe you have not been told as they don't want to broadcast if in case it does not happen quickly etc. If I was you, leave well a lone. If it happens deal with it then. The very best of luck with your planning!
Mrstobe10 Posts: 1793
Have a plan prepared incase they do etc.. they pay part/all of the new dress? I know my friends would offer to pay for the new dress :wv
the winner Posts: 4148
I agree they cant hold off their lives for your wedding BUT I think its plain rude to not tell you they might not fit into the dress and might need a maternity one, I mean there is lots of fab maternity ones so thats not a problem... BUt the least the can/could do is tell you before you spend the money on the dress esp if they are married and know how expensive it all is... Poor U ... the problem is your going to look like a witch if u give out about it... Best thing to do is organise a dress fitting , or any reason for them to be together shopping or shoes etc? so they can say it to u ... which they should in my opinion... Good Luck PS I dont think your selfish... They should have more consideration and let u know before spending cash on dresses. :lvs
newmammy2011 Posts: 1255
This a hard one... Whilst I now TTC is a personl thing , I do think when they knew they doing TTC they so of either said or else declined being BM so not to have you in an ackward position.
MRS.Q Posts: 558
Thanks girls... I really will be delighted for them if they fall pregnant they are close friends afterall. The dresses are not super skinny fitted dresses so they would get away with being a few months gone.... I would have no problem with them being pregnant bridesmaids.... I would never complain to them as I know it would come across wrong and sound awful but I just wish they said something sooner... Anyway like one of you said, they may not fall pregnant immediately so there may be no issue re dresses... Its such a sensitive subject tho....
wah Posts: 1414
have you bought your dresses or have you ordered them from a shop, if you've ordered them from a shop there might be a chance that the order hasnt been processed yet and you might be able to cancel it, if you just bought them could you buy more fabric to match? I know a girl who had this problem and they were able to set a piece of fabric right down both sides that gave the girl all the room she needed, i didnt actually see the dress but from what i was told, you would never know that it had to be done on comparison to the non-pregnent bridesmaid As regards to them not telling you before, i know you are probably a bit pi**ed off but it is a hard one, on one hand i'm sure you'd be thrilled for them but their lives do have to go on and i'm sure they will be as proactive for your wedding as you were for theirs
milis Posts: 7998
I would see TTC as something very personal, and something between a couple, not something to be discussed with friends. Have a look at the TTC forum here and you'll see how long it takes some people to get pregnant. The last thing any woman would want is to have to tell her friends monthly that nothing has happened. I would find that very disheartening. I can understand how you feel though, I wouldn't express these concerns to your friends!
Winter B2B Posts: 3494
I completely understand how you feel as the day before I went bridesmaid dress shopping one of bridesmaids (my sister) told me she was pregnant. On one hand I was completely delighted and excited for her as I know she wants children, the thing that annoyed me was that she will 32 weeks pregnant for the wedding. It's her second child and for her first she put on nearly 3 stone so how were we going to sort dresses? Anyway we got Black dresses that at a big size with alternations to the straps worked well as a maternity dress while still looked really well on my size 10 bridesmaid. I got her a dress that was 4 sizes too big for her (she wanted one 3 sizes bigger but after abit of a row she agreed to 4 sizes bigger) and guess what she tried it on last week and it doesn't fit. Now we need to find a dress maker to see if it can be altered. Think you should wait and see if they get pregnant if they are only a few months pregnant then the dresses should be fine. O-O O-O O-O O-O