Huge fight

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Mama Smurf Posts: 1447
Just had a huge fight with my husband last night at 2am and am absolutely shattered today because I couldn't sleep at all before or after. I went home last night to visit the parents and when I arrived back home hubby wasn't there. Rang him and he said he was in the pub with the lads so we agreed that I'd go into town and collect him at 10.30pm. At 10pm he text to say one of the lads was driving and that he'd be home at 11pm (excuse). That was the last I heard of him until 2am this morning when he fell in through the front door which of course in turn erupted into a huge row and now i'm left shattered and upset. I just feel like I'm the only one whose life is doing a total 180 and he's just going on as always. I don't want to be upset and I know this stress could be harming baby. I'm just so mad with him for being such a bollox. :o( Sorry I just had to rant.
strawberry shortcake Posts: 9094
ah hairy dont stress yourself out, they are all on a different planet and dont cop on, h2b was always in his mates up road drinkin now they are big drinkers were not soon put a stop to it being all the time. let him contact you and do the running.
Mama Smurf Posts: 1447
Thanks Strawberry easier said than done though. He just doesn't give a shit about anything other than himself. As long as he's having a good time thats all that matter. It would be the same fn story if I was 9 months pregnant and ready to pop any second. It still wouldn't stop him going and staying in the pub all night and getting locked. I'm thinknig about moving home for the week. Is that too drastic?
grumpy Posts: 1280
I can completely understand and sympathise. I got even with my hubby for him being out for the second Thursday in a row by buying a lovely swarovski necklace for €100. Boy did I feel better afterwards!!! On a serious note, it is so hard not to get annoyed with them. Again on Friday, my hubby got fairly tipsy, and this was at home. I didn't say anything at the time (there really isn't any point) but told him on Saturday that he needn't think he was buying more beer that night! They just don't get it, and due to our hormones, we're far more likely to over-react about it all. I sometimes feel like "He shouldn't be drinking either", but then again, I sometimes think "Well, let him enjoy it till baby's born". I'm rambling here, sorry :-8! I don't have any solution or advice really, except to say that you need to try not to have it out with him when he's already drunk. Talk to him when he's sober, and explain how you feel. I'm sure you don't want him completely dry either, so let him know that too. And forget about last night, whats done is done, and now you just need to look forward.
Sphynx Posts: 6795
Poor you - you must be wrecked! There's nothing worse than a late night/early morning row. I think it's more important to sit down with hubby and explain why you were so upset (and yes, admit that hormones played some small part). He was obviously not very considerate of your feelings but perhaps he really needed to get out with the lads and have a break from all the baby stuff, which might still be sinking in with him. My policy at the moment is to "let" DH out drinking as often as he wants and I've said to him that he might as well get it out of his system now because things are going to change once the baby arrives! I'm more than happy to have a quiet night in with my mum or a friend if he goes out on a mad night (which in fairness is not very often). And I try to get out to the pub for a couple of hours each Sunday evening with him because, again, that's something we probably won't be able to do so easily once we have the baby. The trick might be for you to arrange these nights in advance - if he's going out on the lash, you make sure you're doing something nice and are not on your own just sitting there getting worried and annoyed. Good luck!
Mama Smurf Posts: 1447
I know i'm probably slightly overreacting too on account of hormones but I refuse to blame myself this time and he's not getting away with it. Dreading going home tonight and sitting there not talking all night. He'll easily sit there and not say a word where i'll just explode all over him. Theres a wedding this weekend we're supposed to be going to and i've told him last night he can go alone and make whatever excuse he likes for me that i'm not going. I think i'll stick to that.
MrsHawaii05 Posts: 488
men!!! its a really tough lesson but there life just doesnt change once the babies come along !!!! my dh fell in the door at 3am on friday -he was out " celebrating" the news of the new baby >:o( O:| O-O he was supposed to take ds out on sat yo give me a break then was too hungover ;o( just go t bed early, give him the silent treatment and look after the baby and urself *)
grumpy Posts: 1280
My DH is exactly the same where drink is concerned, but it really has got better over the pregnancy (with a few blips along the way........). If you think moving home is your only solution, then you know best. But please, just give yourself some time to think it all through. Is he really that bad, or is it just cos you're tired and angry and upset and worried and nervous and a whole host of other emotions right now? Is leaving your husband when you're only a few weeks pregnant really what you want, or can you talk this out and come to a solution together? You really aren't alone. I'd say about 85% of us have felt exactly like you do right now. Honestly, I found it soooooo hard not to drink for the first I'd say, 10 weeks of my pregnancy. So if I figure that if I felt like that, it had to be so much harder on him to stop drinking like he did before when he wasn't the one carrying the baby.
mama sugar Posts: 1387
ah hm, sorry you are feeling so upset today. I don't think moving home would be the best solution...you guys are a team and you need to sort this out. When you go home sit down and try not get angry, just explain to him that you were very annoyed over last night. You don't mind him going out with the lads...it was the fact that you said you would collect him and he said it was ok, he would be home at 11. So you stayed up worring was he ok. Just say to him that if it was you that was out and you told him you would be home at 11 and didn't show up until 2 am, you start to think the worst and end up stressing yourself out. You are very emotional at the moment and you need his support, so work it out...the key is try not to shout or get angry speak calmly I know if I start to shout...my hubby shuts off and doesn't listen. Men what are they like!!!! sending you a big cuddle...nothing worse than fighting with hubby xxx :action32
Mama Smurf Posts: 1447
thanks girls we'll see what happens tonight anyway.