HUGE PROBLEM RE BIRDEMAID HELP!!! - Page 5

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LAdancer Posts: 445
[quote="Queen Jane":vgyejp5j][quote="LAdancer":vgyejp5j]OMG not a chance would I pay when there is a lodge on the grounds of the hotel with a free bed for her, its not your responsibilty to sort out her accomadation she's a grown woman. As for its only being good manners to pay for the bridal parties room, I'm sorry I have to disagree, when is the line drawn for what the b & g have to spend. I know weddings are expensive for guest but we are arranging and paying for transport too and from the hotel for all our guests. We are paying for bridemaids dress, shoes, hair, jewerelly, make-up and also I will be given them a present to say thanks for doing it. We are [b:vgyejp5j]having 4BM's, 4 GM, 1 JBM, 2FG & 1 PB[/b:vgyejp5j], at €110's a room I'm adding more expense. We are paying for parents, and also for my brothers room who is GM, his son is my godchild and is also PB (as he paid for ours at his wedding). But that is where I draw the line as I already have people crying at me about how they can't afford the accomadation and they aren't even in the bridal party, when I point out that the bus will leave them home, they reply with 'awe but I want to stay' :ooh[/quote:vgyejp5j] Do you really need all these people in the bridal party? What will they all do? If you had less people in the bridal party maybe you would have been able to pay for their accomodation.[/quote:vgyejp5j] We're having them cause they are very close to us and we WANT them, 3 of them are my cousins (I grew up with them and they are like my sisters), 1 of them is H2B sister who we're very close to and the other is our daughter and niece and nephew. The men are H2B's brother and my brother and H2B 2 best friends. Its not like we're having people we don't know just to make up numbers. Its not like we are strapped for cash or anything but as I said before where do we draw the line, we would be adding nearly an extra €1000 on just accomodation for the bridal party when we have arranged transport if they can not afford to stay.
LookWhoItIs Posts: 851
[quote="MrsWhippy09":28u7y0u4] A B&G are not obliged to pay for the accomodation for every person in their bridal party regardless of how many GM or BM they have. I'm only having one BM and h2b is having 2 GM we are paying for everything excluding accommodation.Weddings are becoming all about money and how the B&G should pay for everything and it's getting ridiculous.[/quote:28u7y0u4] Couldn't of said it better myself!
dellol Posts: 315
[quote="LAdancer":o9o95xh5][quote="Queen Jane":o9o95xh5][quote="LAdancer":o9o95xh5]OMG not a chance would I pay when there is a lodge on the grounds of the hotel with a free bed for her, its not your responsibilty to sort out her accomadation she's a grown woman. As for its only being good manners to pay for the bridal parties room, I'm sorry I have to disagree, when is the line drawn for what the b & g have to spend. I know weddings are expensive for guest but we are arranging and paying for transport too and from the hotel for all our guests. We are paying for bridemaids dress, shoes, hair, jewerelly, make-up and also I will be given them a present to say thanks for doing it. We are [b:o9o95xh5]having 4BM's, 4 GM, 1 JBM, 2FG & 1 PB[/b:o9o95xh5], at €110's a room I'm adding more expense. We are paying for parents, and also for my brothers room who is GM, his son is my godchild and is also PB (as he paid for ours at his wedding). But that is where I draw the line as I already have people crying at me about how they can't afford the accomadation and they aren't even in the bridal party, when I point out that the bus will leave them home, they reply with 'awe but I want to stay' :ooh[/quote:o9o95xh5] Do you really need all these people in the bridal party? What will they all do? If you had less people in the bridal party maybe you would have been able to pay for their accomodation.[/quote:o9o95xh5] We're having them cause they are very close to us and we WANT them, 3 of them are my cousins (I grew up with them and they are like my sisters), 1 of them is H2B sister who we're very close to and the other is our daughter and niece and nephew. The men are H2B's brother and my brother and H2B 2 best friends. Its not like we're having people we don't know just to make up numbers. Its not like we are strapped for cash or anything but as I said before where do we draw the line, we would be adding nearly an extra €1000 on just accomodation for the bridal party when we have arranged transport if they can not afford to stay.[/quote:o9o95xh5] Whilst I already wrote that we paid for ours, it is up to each B & G to make that decision as they know their own situation and Bridal party best. I do not feel you should have to explain your reasons for who and why you are having in your Bridal party. It sounds lovely and I am sure you will all have a fab time.....
MrsWhippy09 Posts: 2346
[quote="dellol":2chp5zvi][quote="LAdancer":2chp5zvi][quote="Queen Jane":2chp5zvi][quote="LAdancer":2chp5zvi]OMG not a chance would I pay when there is a lodge on the grounds of the hotel with a free bed for her, its not your responsibilty to sort out her accomadation she's a grown woman. As for its only being good manners to pay for the bridal parties room, I'm sorry I have to disagree, when is the line drawn for what the b & g have to spend. I know weddings are expensive for guest but we are arranging and paying for transport too and from the hotel for all our guests. We are paying for bridemaids dress, shoes, hair, jewerelly, make-up and also I will be given them a present to say thanks for doing it. We are [b:2chp5zvi]having 4BM's, 4 GM, 1 JBM, 2FG & 1 PB[/b:2chp5zvi], at €110's a room I'm adding more expense. We are paying for parents, and also for my brothers room who is GM, his son is my godchild and is also PB (as he paid for ours at his wedding). But that is where I draw the line as I already have people crying at me about how they can't afford the accomadation and they aren't even in the bridal party, when I point out that the bus will leave them home, they reply with 'awe but I want to stay' :ooh[/quote:2chp5zvi] Do you really need all these people in the bridal party? What will they all do? If you had less people in the bridal party maybe you would have been able to pay for their accomodation.[/quote:2chp5zvi] We're having them cause they are very close to us and we WANT them, 3 of them are my cousins (I grew up with them and they are like my sisters), 1 of them is H2B sister who we're very close to and the other is our daughter and niece and nephew. The men are H2B's brother and my brother and H2B 2 best friends. Its not like we're having people we don't know just to make up numbers. Its not like we are strapped for cash or anything but as I said before where do we draw the line, we would be adding nearly an extra €1000 on just accomodation for the bridal party when we have arranged transport if they can not afford to stay.[/quote:2chp5zvi] Whilst I already wrote that we paid for ours, it is up to each B & G to make that decision as they know their own situation and Bridal party best. [b:2chp5zvi]I do not feel you should have to explain your reasons for who and why you are having in your Bridal party.[/b:2chp5zvi] It sounds lovely and I am sure you will all have a fab time.....[/quote:2chp5zvi] I totally agree!
LAdancer Posts: 445
Hi thanx chicks still lots of planning to do. I know I don't have to explain myself but just decided to be open about it all xxx
dellol Posts: 315
[quote="LAdancer":3hghd7nz]Hi thanx chicks still lots of planning to do. I know I don't have to explain myself but just decided to be open about it all xxx[/quote:3hghd7nz] Lots of planning and lots of time too girl...... Enjoy the ride, believe me it goes too quick....... :thnk
MrsTiredbride Posts: 3397
Do you know if we were in the USA the bridal party even buy their own outfits. The american ladies here in work couldn't believe I was buying the outfit/shoes etc!!! Should have gotten them to be BM's!!!!!
Niamhlily Posts: 27
Ladies thanks a million for your comments. I have not seen or heard from BM since last Saturday and i was getting increasingly upset. My h2b spoke to her yesterday and ask her did she still want to be bridesmaid and she said that she couldn't afford to stay. He reminded her of the free bed in the lodge and she NO WAY was she staying there! He told how upset i am was and she didnt care and said as much!! I texted saying was she sure that she didn't want to BM and that i hope she still did and to let me know either way so i could make plans. She texted straight back saying could afford it so no. I know she wants me to give in and pay her accommodation and to be honest if she wasn't so horrible about it all and had just approached me or H2B and explained we would have paid!! But not now!! Anyway i have asked my cousin and explain the situation to her. She is over the moon to be asked and has already volunteered to do lots. It has been a horrible few days and to be honest i am still very upset but she is not bother so why should i be?? I am going to as civil as possible it was her choice after all!!
marianf Posts: 5845
Probably not the result you wanted but at least its sorted and you can move on. Hope it all goes well for you :wv
dellol Posts: 315
Exactly!!!!! I know it is not nice, but do try and put it behind you. This girl has some cheek and does not deserve to be in your bridal party. If this is her attitude now can you imagine nearer your wedding. You are well shot and just try and let it go now and look forward!!!!!!!! :thnk :thnk